Stressful incident on motorway, scared

Can you link to where it's specifically prohibited in the Highway Code? I've had a quick look and couldn't find anything.

What a dick. I've had encounters like this and it's always men who engage in this sort of stuff. Some women are shit or aggressive drivers but they don't tend to try to scare others or goad them like this.

It's not that you shouldn't do those things, it's that it's not always safe or possible, so the person merging shouldn't expect it, if that makes sense.

If you had to brake on the slip road because of the car in front slowed down it sounds like you were possibly to close to car in front as they adjusted to the actual motorway speed and conditions..

Given you are asking for advice I would say try to judge the road you are merging into as early as possible (as soon as you can glimpse from the slip or even better roundabout above if it’s that type of slip road) what speed are they actually doing, 40, 50, 60, 70? And how busy is it? Don’t get too close to the car in front on the slip road so you give yourself maximum flexibility to speed up or slow down yourself to merge into a gap and don’t expect anyone on the motorway to create a gap.

You’ll get better with practice - it is different on a Saturday afternoon compared to rush hour compared to Sunday morning.

You absolutely shouldn't get stressed out by this, @Nooooope . We've all been there as new drivers and I promise you it rapidly gets easier. Could you practice it once or twice at a time and place where you know traffic will be light?

Don't ever trust the driver in front of you (they may have only passed there test a few days ago compared to your few weeks for all you know!!), drive your own drive, treat them like an idiot and give yourself space going down the slipway so you can plan your own merge without having to guess what they may or may not do.
Space is key when driving - lesson learned!

Absolutely.

Whilst it's courteous to do if you can, it's absolutely not requested. The responsibility for identifying and slotting in on sliproads is solely on the joining driver. No one needs to make room for you.

I tend to just carry on at a constant speed and let them join on their own steam unless it's a very short slip road or I can see someone is running out of room. But it's a personal choice.

I had one once (on a slow urban dual carriageway, only 40mph, shortish sliproad), with a car that wouldn't let me join. I accelerated and he matched me, I slowed and he matched me, blocking me off and staying parallel with me. I was shaking by the end and had to come to a stop. I've really hated sliproads since.

You have to stop, and start up again when there's a gap. But normally people will slow a bit so there is one.

He shouldn't have beeped you. You had no choice. He's an idiot!

Oh, another thing- you need to leave space between you and the car in front to give you more options. Don’t join a line of clustered cars as there won’t be room for all of you to get in one gap. Space out!

The gaps in the traffic should be braking distance apart, which is plenty big enough to get into- then everyone just has to adjust until braking distance is reached again.

No I would say that is correct advice actually and responsive driving. According to the Highway Code the responsibility lies with the person merging (because they can't place it on the people already on the road) but careful driving means avoiding contributing to dangerous situations or hazards. If you see a slip road coming up and it is safe to do so, adjust your speed slightly to allow seamless merging. That is to say, if you can see that someone is trying to merge, don't make life difficult for them unnecessarily.

It's absolutely sensible to do this if you can safely. The concern is that some of these posts indicate that posters believe that this is a requirement.

Don’t worry about the PP’s ‘OMG, SO DANGEROUS!’, comments- I think they are responding to some of the advice you’ve had rather than to you.

So you vary your speed in your lane so you are aiming for a gap. If you look like you’re trying, the cars are more likely to accommodate.

Unfortunately sometimes you and the other driver misread each others- I had it recently, he slowed to let me in just as I slowed to drop behind him. We both got flustered and irritated. It happens.

It takes everyone paying attention and trying to accommodate, basically. Sometimes there’s an arsehole, but generally no one wants to die in a mangled mess so assume good intent on the part of other people.

I've done this myself...if you can't merge you have to stop surely

What are you supposed to do if you are coming up the slip road, speed matched to the motorway cars but they are all rigidly exercising their right not to adjust their speed or move over (the latter slightly understandable if they're coming off at the next exit but everyone is being an arsehole and they're afraid they won't get let back into the left lane in time) but sadly not observing their obligation to leave a safe stopping distance from the car in front, or indeed a gap big enough to wedge a smartcar in edgeways. That's OK if everyone is crawling but if they're clipping along at 50-70 and you're running out of road, it's quite unnerving. Your choices are
-force your way on, literally pick a non existent gap, get level with another car, sound your horn and tighten in till your wing mirror is hitting theirs and hope they slow down. Ridiculously dangerous, recipe for a pileup or at least serious road rage mess, I've never done it

• go onto the hatched bit still speed matched, but sometimes they're quite short and if nobody cops the fuck on and lets you in, you will be on the hard shoulder doing 50-70 and have to admit defeat, stop, get out of the car and up the bank to await rescue or the rush hour traffic to die down
• make a judgement call when you are seriously running out of road, put your hazards on and try to get stopped (without the car behind you on the slip rear ending you and shunting you into the motorway to get T boned), coming to rest on the hatched bit (v hazardous) or the slip road- with the same result as option 2 except now you are blocking the slip road in rush hour, and therefore probably a feeder roundabout.

Although realistically if the traffic is solid on the motorway such that there is absolutely no gap to safely merge into then it is likely that the motorway traffic is moving more slowly anyway as traffic has built up. I've queued on slip roads on many occasions

Exactly, most people will move or allow others to merge but it seems the selfish drivers of mumsnet are out in full force today! OP please ignore them. You will get more confident.

You have to do exactly what you did and slow down. Any halfway decent driver in the nearside lane should be able to see what’s happening and adjust appropriately even if they don’t ‘have’ to.

Then you have to come to a stop. But I would argue that that's a lot more dangerous than someone slowing down somewhat in good time before the sliproad (eg dropping from 70 to 60) to allow traffic to merge safely into a clear gap.

Merging can be so stressful. You just have to chalk it up to experience and carry on. Nobody will report you.

Reporting you for being cautious? If there wasn’t enough space , there wasn’t enough space, I thought everyone should always be able to stop in time anyway. I’ve had my licence for decades but I hate motorways and avoid them like the plague. I’d rather go the long way

Agree with this, if it’s not clear there is an obvious space you have to take action not wait for someone else to get out of the way. If you indicate by your road placement and speed that you are merging the car behind has to slow to make way