Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

You are "too young" for it be cancer

92 replies

Burntoutmumm · 19/09/2026 10:53

I have had a mole/freckle appear on my hand a month ago and its gone through all the red flags you could name, change in size, change in colour, bled ect.

I saw my gp who seemed to be as clueless as I am about it and said as she didnt know what it was, despite my "young age" and given I have family history of skin cancer she would refer me to hospital under the 2 week rule to air on the side of caution and get it checked. That was fine....until later that afternoon she called me back and said upon reflection and with second thought she has concluded I am too young for it be anything sinister and she wants me to have a topical cream first. She said anything cancerous is usually only seen in older patients (im 29) but she still doesn't have a clue what it is and can't guarantee me its nothing. I have two children and am anxious that my health is being overlooked and not taken seriously. I put my foot down with her and said unless she can say for certain I would rather it been seen. So in conclusion she has referred me to a local dermatologist but my appointment isnt urgent and I wont be seen until December. Im scared this is serious and the only thing that made me feel okay is that I have brought this to my gp's attention relatively early but now I need to wait months just to be checked! It felt like she did the referral just to entertain me and left it at "but you may find by then the mole goes and in that case you can cancel the appointment". Aibu to think age shouldn't be the defining factor and the fact that she told me I was going to be seen by a specialist to go back on herself is wrong?

OP posts:
Orangemintcream · 19/09/2026 15:33

Second the suggestion of going to boots for them to do an in depth check for £40.

Ive done it. It wasn’t cancer but they were fast - I think if they have any concerns they send the images from the scope photos off to a dermatologist too.

NorthXNorthWest · 19/09/2026 15:36

Itsthewoluff · 19/09/2026 11:03

Our surgery has a skin specialist. Can you ask for a second opinion at the doctors?

This.

TheLurpackYears · 19/09/2026 15:36

On reflection, someone in charge of the budget at the surgery has told her she’s making too many referrals.
Push for a referral OP.

DangerousLesions · 19/09/2026 15:37

Can you afford to get it checked out privately? I went with DH to the Mole Clinic in London for a general check of moles. I'm now awaiting early stage skin cancer surgery which I'm also paying for. Waiting times with the NHS is awful. I don't believe you're too young. A friend of mine had life threatening cancer at 18. Fortunately survived.

Oioiqueen · 19/09/2026 15:38

If you were too young then children wouldn't get cancer would they.

Can you go private, some cosmetic clinics will remove and send for testing. Prices vary from independents to private hospitals like Spire.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 33 and then stage 4 at 37 if something isn't right trust your instinct. X

Cadeaukatze · 19/09/2026 15:38

Melanoma is serious but way more treatable than it used to be. But doctors need to know it's a melanoma early enough to treat it effectively. If they don't refer, how can they know?

I know there's a drive to stop GPs referring for everything and nothing but it's not hard to send a photo through to dermatology and ask for their opinion. And I do think the Skinvision app is good. It can be a bit awkward to use on the pink and red lesions but it works very well with moles.

Wordsmithery · 19/09/2026 15:40

Please go back and insist on a second opinion, or go to your pharmacist/private provider.
It's all very well GPs being blasé about things like this but we are the ones that pay the consequences when they make a mistake.

Kirbert2 · 19/09/2026 15:41

My son was 8 when he was diagnosed with cancer and sadly, he was often one of the older ones on the children's oncology ward.

No one is too young to have cancer. No one.

Highonmyownsupply · 19/09/2026 16:02

TheLurpackYears · 19/09/2026 15:36

On reflection, someone in charge of the budget at the surgery has told her she’s making too many referrals.
Push for a referral OP.

Or it’s been bounced back quickly after electronic referral. I’m curious why the change of mind, unless they are a trainee.

Defrostedmariahcarey · 19/09/2026 16:15

I’m an oncology nurse, there is no such thing as too young for cancer. I have looked after a baby born with cancer.

go back to the GP and ask for a different GP and tell them you want to be referred under the two week wait.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2026 16:22

tulippa · 19/09/2026 10:57

I would imagine the doctor is familiar with what a cancerous mole looks like so if she doesn't know it is that would suggest it doesn't look cancerous? Good that it's getting checked out. I would be reassured that the appointment is not urgent.

I had a lump in my breast in my early 30s. Everything pointed to it being completely harmless, I was still referred for it to be checked on the pathway (6 weeks then), was seen, ultrasound done then biopsy.

Also had a weird mouth ulcer (as I thought) that didn't heal. Again GP referred me, turned out it was a harmless mucocele, but the GP didn't know so got it checked.

Carpedementia · 19/09/2026 16:24

OchreReader · 19/09/2026 13:02

If you can afford it go for a private consultation. I had a red patch on my breast that I instinctively knew wasn’t right. No lump, just a warm red patch. My gp referred me to the breast clinic, but when I still hadn’t been seen 6 weeks later I booked a consultation with a private breast cancer consultant. He told me within 5 minutes he was certain I had inflammatory breast cancer, and biopsies proved him right. I was at stage 3C already and was very lucky I could still receive curative treatment.
Trust your instincts. I hope you get on ok x

Oh my goodness thankfully you made a private appointment, that’s awful. Glad you’re better now

bettyboo40 · 19/09/2026 16:24

I was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma in my early 30s. The first time I went to the GP they dismissed it and told me it was fine. I did go back again and this time the GP did agree to send a photograph of the mole to dermatology. When I then saw the dermatologist some weeks later I was told that my mole needed to be removed that day. GPs can get things wrong.
Please do go back again and ask for the referral.

Catza · 19/09/2026 16:37

We are constantly being told we are too young, too fat, and too female for various things. Don't take any notice of it and demand a second opinion.
I've never had this personally because I go armed with all the I formation, nice guidelines, diagnostic criteria for a condition I am worried about and a list of things I already tried so very rarely get dismissed but one shouldn't have to prepare for a GP appointment as if they are undergoing a police interview. Boils my blood.
I have high risk factors for skin cancer and I pay £100 a year for a full body mapping with a private mole specialist. Worth every penny.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2026 16:41

Did your GP take a photo to send to dermatology? If not I'd make an appointment - maybe with a different GP - and request it.

I had a birthmark on my scalp removed, when it started being a problem the GP photographed it and sent it off. Turned out it was nothing sinister but the dirt if thing that once it started causing problems would likely continue to.

FFSItsTooHot · 19/09/2026 16:44

People, especially doctor's who say that 'you're too young for it to be.....' are as bad as the ones who say something is because you are getting on in years! Also,there is the fact that cancers that used to be much more common in older people are now appearing in younger people,e.g. bowel cancer.
As an aside,I used to get absolutely sick of people saying to me when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 30 'Oh you're far too young to have arthritis'. Young children can have rheumatoid arthritis!

Lentilcakes · 19/09/2026 16:47

Absolute nonsense re your GP. I know a couple of people who got skin cancer in their 30s. They were fine and caught it early (they were both in a medical field so were more ‘aware’ of changes).

Crazybigtoe · 19/09/2026 16:50

There are different types of skin cancer. Some are indeed more prevalent in older people. Some are faster growing than others. Melanoma is the nastiest, and there are also different types of melanoma too- some which grow faster than others. But it doesn't have to be melanoma- if she is suggest 'topical cream' I'd want to know what her suspicions are. Also, do moles disappear?.......

If you are worried, get a second opinion- and ask this next person what to look out for and what to do if you have suspicions. They need to look at the mole under a dermatoscope - which has magnification- and if they think that it's dodgy, they will ask for a biopsy. It's only after biopsy that they can tell you what it is. Under the dermatoscope, they are looking for patterns- which they can't see with the naked eye- to either confirm a suspicion or to rule out a mole. With apps like skinvision, you send in the photos, so the check would be the same as the GP check, then a visual by a specialist- but no dermatoscope. For you, I'd opt to see someone physically because it's then just a single visit to know what next steps are.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 19/09/2026 16:54

tulippa · 19/09/2026 10:57

I would imagine the doctor is familiar with what a cancerous mole looks like so if she doesn't know it is that would suggest it doesn't look cancerous? Good that it's getting checked out. I would be reassured that the appointment is not urgent.

I wouldn’t. My relative went to their GP who dismissed it as just “pigmentation”. I went back with them and insisted on a referral. They huffed and puffed but eventually did it and yes my relative ended up having 3 areas of full blown skin cancer removed, including the bit my relative has showed them. The other 2 were on their back, found when examined.

GP was clueless.

MeSeM · 19/09/2026 16:55

mindutopia · 19/09/2026 11:57

Keep pushing. I have advanced melanoma (so it’s treatable but incurable with a 50% 10 year survival rate). When I first went to my GP, she laughed at me and said it’s ‘nothing but a sun spot! Wear a hat!’ (no joke, that is actually what’s written in my notes, exclamation points and all).

The vast majority of GPs know jack shit about about skin cancer. I finally pushed for a second opinion with a different GP who has more of a specialist interest in dermatology and she referred me right away. By the time I finally got that referral, it had already metastasised and was stage 3. It spread further after that, which is why it’s now considered ‘advanced’ as inoperable.

The dermatologist I saw initially said it so obviously should have been referred the first time but GPs often have no idea what they’re looking at. They need to refer so can be assessed by a specialist.

Fwiw, I took ds to the same GP surgery, not once, not twice, but three times with the most perfect, textbook bullseye rash, plus high fever, extreme fatigue and joint aches. Like when you google Lyme disease bullseye rash, what we turned up with looked exactly like that, like the size of my hand across his face, and it took three GPs for one of them to actually agree it was Lyme disease and be willing to treat it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ GPs are used to seeing old people with high blood pressure and kids with snotty noses. But they aren’t experts and things like this need to be referred to the ones who are.

Also there is a huge surge in young people with melanoma. I was 42 when I was diagnosed. Never used a sun bed in my life. Never been on a sun holiday where I laid on a sun lounger tanning ever in my life either. I’m in a support group for people with melanoma and there are plenty of people in their 20-40s. It’s actually one of the fastest growing cancers in young adults. There is also paediatric melanoma in children, so really no age limits. Your GP sounds like a moron.

I would seek a second opinion. I had to wait 6 months for a GP to finally agree to refer me. It probably made the difference between stage 1 and stage 3c when I was finally diagnosed.

Thank you immensely much so for so compassionately & kindly sharing your enlightenments, & lived experiences🫂
Completely concur with everything you mentioned & you put it all so empathetically & articulately
I really hope & I'm praying that numerous souls read your wise words of wisdom & I know I for one, feel empowered & inspired by your courage to share your strength & hope with us all - Thank you again & I'm praying for your continued recovery healing & wellbeing, alongside your dear family's too🫂

TattiePants · 19/09/2026 17:01

Like others have said, GPs are not experts so make sure this is checked out by a specialist whether that’s NHS or private. DH was diagnosed with skin cancer last year in his early 50s on his third visit to the GP. For the previous 13 years (!) he’d been told by GPs that it was eczema.

JuanaSmith · 19/09/2026 17:08

My husband's melanoma didn't look like melanoma to the GP or the dermatologist. Luckily they removed it "to be sure". Get a second opinion.

Edited to add the private dermatologist as we weren't willing to wait for a routine NHS appt. And because of that it was only Stage 1.

phoenixrosehere · 19/09/2026 17:14

I’ve had a few classmates find out they had cancer in their mid-20s and sadly two didn’t make it to 30. I wouldn’t trust any medical professional that says someone is too young for cancer.

Even saying usually older people means there is a chance for someone younger to have it.

user9764875954 · 19/09/2026 17:30

There is a private clinic at our local hospital that you can pay about £250 for an entire body check for suspicious moles, if it’s worrying you and you can afford it, I’d have a google for something similar near you - you’d be seen within days.

My GP is usually really good, but I went with a small pea sized breast lump, she said nothing there can’t feel anything you’re imagining it. A few days later it was a boil like a massive grape and burst in a most satisfying manner, so even the good ones make mistakes at times!

AGreatUsername · 19/09/2026 17:31

I was too young for ovarian cancer at 36 - but guess what. I wasn’t. Push for a proper check with dermatology