To start picking out outfits for the week on a Sunday?

What about his mental health? I appreciate that OP is disproportionately affected by winter and finds simple tasks like taking clothes out of a wardrobe too much. That's fair enough, we're all different. Her DH is disproportionately affected by having a messy bedroom and finds a simple rack in the room to be stressful/unrelaxing. Why is she right and he wrong? Surely they both have to compromise given their idiosyncratic feelings about stuff?

Now I'm even more confused. That's not five full outfits for the week all ready to put on, it's just a selection of bits of clothing you'll still have to pick from and match. It looks like you've just pulled some winter stuff out of your existing wardrobe?
And it does block the corner of the room so makes it look a bit messy. Can you put your rack in another room?

I do this and it makes a huge difference. Everything organised for the week on a rail, with shoes, bags etc too. I do have a separate dressing room though so my partner doesn’t have to look at it. But really if it’s to protect your MH, your partner should be supportive. At least try it and see if it works/if he objects (for any valid reason).

@wholikesliving 👏👏👏
you sure he isn’t a huge part of the MH part?

Yeah i don't get this. Surely a "cupboard with a clothes rail in" is a wardrobe?

I wouldn't want a random rack in my bedroom either tbh, and if I read OPs posts correctly, she basically wears the same stuff all winter till march so I don't see why it needs so much pre planning. Just keep the winter stuff you'll inevitably choose at one side of the wardrobe cupboard with a clothes rail in

I put all my clothes and shower stuff out the night before and get my lunch ready too. Saves time and stress…

I did this when I worked full time out of the home - was very helpful and didn’t look messy!

My DD has a 2 hour commute to 6th form and she had over-door hooks on the outside of her wardrobe door for the same purpose.

Can’t you come to some other compromise OP? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to sort your clothes for the week if it helps your MH but it’s his house too. Can’t you find some clothes storage system that suits both of your needs?

For what it’s worth, a rail like the one you suggested would stress me out too. I would be happy to find an enclosed piece of furniture though or find space for it in a different room.

How can you not understand saving time in the mornings by having your clothes all ready for the week and easily accessible

It's literally that simple 😁

I think its a great idea OP, I'm planning to do the same although I'm going to pick it out the night before, as part of a longer 'no phone' bedtime routine.

Something else you could consider is looking at some videos on capsule wardrobes, the intention is that you have say 10 pieces that all go with each other, so you can pull any combination out and it will work. Would then allow for changes of weather etc when you get to Thursday and Friday.

Also re the lamp, I stick mine on in the kitchen when I'm making breakfast as its the first thing I do in the morning, really helps me feel more alive by the time the sun actually comes up.

I can see why he wouldn’t like the look of it and I’ve never understood the whole laying out clothes thing.
However there’s probably loads of things I find difficult that other people just crack on with. If you are struggling and think it would help then he should at least be willing to help find a compromise.

They absolutely wouldnt and you know it!!!

It sounds like a really practical helpful idea OP (I'm now considering trialling this myself this week) and I'm sorry your partner isn't being more supportive about it.

Would this kind of thing be a good compromise?share.google/sZlF6wlv3PM4aqpPZ

Or is there another room that could accommodate the rail, so it's not in your bedroom?

Depends what they said.

If it was 'OH is a shopaholic and very messy, whereas I'm a minimalist and like everything in it's place. Our house is quite small and crammed with all our stuff including DC and pets, and to be honest it really stresses me out most of the time, but at least our bedroom is my quiet haven and the only place I can switch off at night, because it is the only room in the house that is always tidy and clutter-free (or as much as I can make it despite OH always leaving her stuff lying around).

OH has now said she wants to add a random rail full of clothes in the room to hang up her clothes for the week ahead. I've suggested loads of alternatives, including putting a wardrobe in the corridor, or folding them in a chest of drawers, or a hanging rail over the back of the door, or a small one that can be hidden by a mirror, or her clearing out the cupboard we use as a wardrobe (which is 99% full of her clothes!) but she is insistent on this rail being the only thing that will work. AIBU to want to keep the one clutter free space in my house?'

Of course I've just completely made all that up and none of it might be relevant, but just as an illustration that we never know the full story, or even half of it, from one person's (biased) POV.

but it IS relevant whether her partner, you know, the person who also lives there and presumably pays half the mortgage/rent, would consider it clutter, and he does. Perhaps having a clean and clear space is important to him and he feels strongly that it has a positive impact on him.

The way OP has refused to consider any of the reasonable suggestions on the thread and is making excuses as to why none of them are feasible - no packing cubes, no smaller rail that can be hidden behind a mirror, no space in the cupboard they currently use as a wardrobe, no folding the clothes they have to all be hanging, no just doing one day at a time, not even the smallest wardrobe would fit in their oddly proportioned room, or anywhere else in the house like the landing/bathroom/wherever....suggests they are both as stubborn as each other.

So in one way I agree with you - it is completely irrelevant whether any of us on MN agree with the partner or not - even if she'd got 100% YANBU MN judgement isn't legally binding. Which begs the question, if she's not open to considering any alternatives, what did OP hope to gain from starting the thread in the first place?

Hello Sheila

Well with that logic everyone’s opinions are irrelevant ,including yours.

I have a dress makers mannequin thing I put my next day outfit on and I love it! Accessories and all - I find it really helps me with a number of things including making the most of my clothes…

Rubbish. I imagine most people on here would be supportive of the OH and calling the OP unreasonable for getting worked up over a clothes rail, and rightly so…

I don’t lay out my outfits for the full week but I do other things to make my mornings run smoothly so I totally get this. I pack my work bag, prepare my packed lunch, lay out my daughter’s clothes for the next day, make sure my work laptop and phone are charged, book my bus ticket online so I don’t have to do it in the morning, all that sort of thing and because my threshold for any sort of stress is low in the morning. It makes the early mornings seem so much more manageable for me. Your OH is being a knobhead. You don’t need his permission though. Put up a rail if that’s what you want. But do you need to put out the whole weeks clothes? Maybe just do them for the next day if space is an issue.

This is such a strange assortment of responses. The OP is the expert in her own seasonal depression and if she thinks this will help then it probably would. It is irrelevant whether Sheila from MN would consider it 'clutter'.

A supportive partner should be willing to try something which you feel strongly will have a positive impact. Is he generally unsupportive? Dare I ask, is he part of the problem?

I would be explaining my reasoning to him and asking him how he thinks this could be accommodated at this time. Generally it sounds like you need better storage solutions but we spent years in a muddle like this as wardrobes involved structural work being carried out which wasn't top of the priority list.

As a couple you need to work together , it's important that you explain your situation and why you think this would help and he needs to help to find a way for a solution to be found.

When my anxiety and overwhelm were at their worst, I found DH's discussions around "we need to do this, we need to do that" around things relating to the house (and generally) massively overwhelming. From his point of view he wasn't telling me I had to do all of those things, for him it was just a discussion and no big deal, I couldn't deal with it though. We compromised around him writing everything on a list that we ran through now and again when I felt able to and I tried to recognise that I was overreacting to the situation. You have to be able to understand each other and to be able to work together to find solutions.

I think it's a good idea.

I have a clothes rail in the spare room and do the same thing.
I get awful decision fatigue, so anything that can help me streamline my week has to be a good idea. I even take the same packed lunch to work every day. Then I don't have to think about it.

We have the same sort of room, only a clothes rail would work, but they look ugly, so I put up a curtain rail with a lovely fabric which adds to the decor. Really easy to just slide the curtain back, get what you want and hide the rail again. My clothes for the next day go at the end of the rail