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AIBU?

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Original poster

Joint tenants or tenants in common?

25 replies

Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 09:22

DC is buying a property with their DP. We are giving DC £50k towards it. AIBU to insist they should be tenants in common not joint tenants? Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

OP posts:
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titchy · 19/09/2026 20:02

Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 19:58

Good grief, no!

DH and I have been discussing this all day. We only have one DC and for a number of reasons they will be the only one who will inherit from us. If they die before us, our whole estate will go to charity. We have reached the conclusion that we will advise they should be tenants in common for the next 5 years, or until children come along, whichever is sooner, then we will pay legal fees for them to become joint tenants.

Our caution isn’t without experience. No, the DP isn’t a gold digger but we have worked hard for the money we have and I’m reluctant to potentially just hand it over.

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And what will the split between them be? And should either of them die in the next five years how will you be suggesting (requiring?) their wills to be set up?

Original poster
Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 19:58

AutumnClouds · 19/09/2026 13:06

Please say you haven’t told your child that! It’s fine to advise but if you’re making a gift just make a gift don’t make it a burden or an argument because you want your money back if your child dies!

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Good grief, no!

DH and I have been discussing this all day. We only have one DC and for a number of reasons they will be the only one who will inherit from us. If they die before us, our whole estate will go to charity. We have reached the conclusion that we will advise they should be tenants in common for the next 5 years, or until children come along, whichever is sooner, then we will pay legal fees for them to become joint tenants.

Our caution isn’t without experience. No, the DP isn’t a gold digger but we have worked hard for the money we have and I’m reluctant to potentially just hand it over.

OP posts:
Minasama · 19/09/2026 17:34

Soontobe60 · 19/09/2026 09:38

Even when OP is giving them a £50 hand out???

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Quite.

TheRoyalInkPot · 19/09/2026 13:26

I think as a pp mentioned what happens if he dies and she has to leave her home by this point she's put much love and care into ,decorated and maintained and possibly with children.

Gone.

Peonies12 · 19/09/2026 13:20

If it’s 50/50 deposit then it is irrelevant? You can advice obv but their decision. My parents gave me the money which was most of our deposit so my partner and I did own unequal shares; my dad asked thT we did this and I wanted to respect that. But now we’re married and in a new house that we own jointly.

AutumnClouds · 19/09/2026 13:06

Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 09:58

Thank you for your replies.
They will both be putting in the same amount. When I say insisting, it’s to protect both of them if anything was to happen to either their relationship or to them. We love the DP but at the end of the day we are gifting the money to our child. My catastrophising makes me look at a scenario where if they split up, house isn’t sold, my DC dies and DP keeps £50k of our money. If that happens in many years to come then we would accept it but if (god forbid) it happens in the next few years then we would be quite pissed.

Please say you haven’t told your child that! It’s fine to advise but if you’re making a gift just make a gift don’t make it a burden or an argument because you want your money back if your child dies!

Savvysix1984 · 19/09/2026 12:59

If they’re putting in the same deposit then there’s no point really.

momager22 · 19/09/2026 12:13

Sorry if just saw about 50/50 deposit, ignore my post.

momager22 · 19/09/2026 12:13

Tenants in common with a declaration of trust. I’d make it a condition of the gift. If they later marry, that will over ride the declaration of trust anyway.

titchy · 19/09/2026 12:08

ComfortablyUneventful · 19/09/2026 11:12

@Pushmepullu if it were me, I would go for the ring fenced option. It’s important they both feel equal in this commitment. So it’s 50/50 after the down payment.

They’re both putting in the same down payment! There is no ring fencing needed!

caringcarer · 19/09/2026 11:33

ComfortablyUneventful · 19/09/2026 11:12

@Pushmepullu if it were me, I would go for the ring fenced option. It’s important they both feel equal in this commitment. So it’s 50/50 after the down payment.

I'd suggest this too. I agree they need to have equal commitment.

BluebellBeth · 19/09/2026 11:29

But it won't be your money if you're gifting it to your child.

ComfortablyUneventful · 19/09/2026 11:14

Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 09:58

Thank you for your replies.
They will both be putting in the same amount. When I say insisting, it’s to protect both of them if anything was to happen to either their relationship or to them. We love the DP but at the end of the day we are gifting the money to our child. My catastrophising makes me look at a scenario where if they split up, house isn’t sold, my DC dies and DP keeps £50k of our money. If that happens in many years to come then we would accept it but if (god forbid) it happens in the next few years then we would be quite pissed.

If you still see it as YOUR money once you gift it to your DC, I don’t think you should give it at all.

thinkfast · 19/09/2026 11:14

Tenants in common and a separate declaration of trust to protect each side’s contribution to the deposit

ComfortablyUneventful · 19/09/2026 11:12

@Pushmepullu if it were me, I would go for the ring fenced option. It’s important they both feel equal in this commitment. So it’s 50/50 after the down payment.

titchy · 19/09/2026 10:49

Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 09:58

Thank you for your replies.
They will both be putting in the same amount. When I say insisting, it’s to protect both of them if anything was to happen to either their relationship or to them. We love the DP but at the end of the day we are gifting the money to our child. My catastrophising makes me look at a scenario where if they split up, house isn’t sold, my DC dies and DP keeps £50k of our money. If that happens in many years to come then we would accept it but if (god forbid) it happens in the next few years then we would be quite pissed.

If they’re both putting in the same amount what’s the point? In your scenario you’re assuming they either have no will (would you really force a grieving partner to sell up to realise your inheritance?), or their will leaves their share to you. They could well have a will that leave their share, including your £50k deposit to their dp. And if their dp dies how would you feel if the dp’s parents insisted on selling the property and making your dc homeless?

Original poster
Pushmepullu · 19/09/2026 09:58

Thank you for your replies.
They will both be putting in the same amount. When I say insisting, it’s to protect both of them if anything was to happen to either their relationship or to them. We love the DP but at the end of the day we are gifting the money to our child. My catastrophising makes me look at a scenario where if they split up, house isn’t sold, my DC dies and DP keeps £50k of our money. If that happens in many years to come then we would accept it but if (god forbid) it happens in the next few years then we would be quite pissed.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 19/09/2026 09:38

Valeryvictorious · 19/09/2026 09:29

Tenants in common is best. However, it’s a tad over bearing of you to wade in insisting.

Even when OP is giving them a £50 hand out???

Soontobe60 · 19/09/2026 09:37

Yep, TIC absolutely! If the house purchase price is £200k and the combined deposit is, say, £60k (50 from you, 10 from DP) then she should own 75% and DP 25% as TIC - not 50/50. (Obviously the mortgage lender would actually own 70%)
If it increased in value by, say, 20% and they split up and the outstanding mortgage was £110K, remaining equity would be 240 - 110 =130K, she would get £97.5K and DP would get £32.5K
If owned as Joint Tenants they would both receive £65K.
If the £50K off you was only ringfenced, then as JT you would get back your £50K, and they would get £40K each.

BluebellBeth · 19/09/2026 09:36

I mean, you can advise.

Hs2Issue · 19/09/2026 09:33

Also consider a Declaration of Trust especially as thet is putting in more money. Their Conveyancer should also make them aware of this.

MinnieMountain · 19/09/2026 09:31

Tenants in common with a declaration of trust if you want to protect the £50k.

However, I had a client once who tried to insist on that and their DCs DP kicked up such a fuss that they gave up and just handed the money over. So be prepared.

Valeryvictorious · 19/09/2026 09:29

Tenants in common is best. However, it’s a tad over bearing of you to wade in insisting.

HangryBrickShark · 19/09/2026 09:28

Tenants in Common for sure, whenever there is an unequal ratio of funding. Its only fair. There is no right of survivourship and each party can leave there share of the property in their Will. I know they are only children but buying a house is a big commitment and whilst it might be all roses now its not guaranteed to be like that in 20 yrs time.

Overthegardenfence · 19/09/2026 09:26

When I bought my first flat with my DP my dad who was a lawyer advised me to buy as a tenant in common. When we split and sold there was no problems.