Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to mention feeding and winding tips for my niece?

6 replies

MyLoudOtter · 18/09/2026 22:40

My brother and sister in law have recently had a baby. They have been struggling since she was born with colic, general unsettledness, and constipation.

I don’t want to overstep the mark, which is why I haven’t said anything but I’ve noticed a few things that they could be doing which could potentially be causing the above issues. They will give her a 5/6 oz bottle without any breaks, she will drink it so quickly she’s often sick, they don’t wind her during the bottle and afterwards they will maybe try for a minute or two and just stop without her getting any wind up. I think she could just be suffering with trapped wind and drinking her bottles way too quickly?

they are first time parents and I do have my own kids, but I don’t want to come across rude or like a know it all, because I genuinely just want to help and it’s sad to see her in a lot of discomfort. I’m not sure how it would be received, which is also why I potentially haven’t said anything? What does everyone think?

OP posts:
Golightly133 · 18/09/2026 22:42

Could you offer to try and wind the baby? Give them some tips on what worked for your little ones?

takealettermsjones · 18/09/2026 22:42

Just maybe say oh it sounds so tough, I had this with Tilly, do you want to hear some of the things that worked for us? Might give you some ideas!

CatCaretaker · 18/09/2026 22:50

Mine was breastfed so I'm not sure what volumes she was getting in one go, but she was IMPOSSIBLE to wind. We tried everything under the sun to get wind out of her, every recommended physical method and every colic remedy going, and nothing ever made any difference. Maybe they are the same, have been trying to wind her until they're blue in the face but now they just know that she can't be winded, so they no longer put that much effort into trying?

Recently my baby (now 20 months old) spontaneously burped and I was genuinely shocked. She just doesn't bring up wind. On the other hand I was holding my friend's newborn recently after a feed. He made a windy face so on instinct I sat him up and went to pat his back and he immediately let out an almighty burp like nothing mine ever did. Before that I genuinely believed the winding thing must be a bit of a myth!

Anyway, any visitors that we had a few weeks - and definitely a few months - in, probably would have judged us for not winding her. We had given up.

MyLoudOtter · 18/09/2026 22:57

CatCaretaker · 18/09/2026 22:50

Mine was breastfed so I'm not sure what volumes she was getting in one go, but she was IMPOSSIBLE to wind. We tried everything under the sun to get wind out of her, every recommended physical method and every colic remedy going, and nothing ever made any difference. Maybe they are the same, have been trying to wind her until they're blue in the face but now they just know that she can't be winded, so they no longer put that much effort into trying?

Recently my baby (now 20 months old) spontaneously burped and I was genuinely shocked. She just doesn't bring up wind. On the other hand I was holding my friend's newborn recently after a feed. He made a windy face so on instinct I sat him up and went to pat his back and he immediately let out an almighty burp like nothing mine ever did. Before that I genuinely believed the winding thing must be a bit of a myth!

Anyway, any visitors that we had a few weeks - and definitely a few months - in, probably would have judged us for not winding her. We had given up.

Edited

That’s what I’m worried about, I don’t want to come across like I’m judging because I’m honestly not. They’ve said she doesn’t like being winded so they don’t do it.

I agree with the breastfeeding as I done it with one of my own and she never really burped but my other who was bottle fed needed it massively otherwise by the end of the day there would be so much discomfort.

OP posts:
CatCaretaker · 18/09/2026 23:04

MyLoudOtter · 18/09/2026 22:57

That’s what I’m worried about, I don’t want to come across like I’m judging because I’m honestly not. They’ve said she doesn’t like being winded so they don’t do it.

I agree with the breastfeeding as I done it with one of my own and she never really burped but my other who was bottle fed needed it massively otherwise by the end of the day there would be so much discomfort.

Fair enough, I don't know much about bottle feeding. It is upsetting to think of the little baby in discomfort. It's odd that they say she doesn't like it though, that might indicate that there is air in her little belly and it's uncomfortable to release? I really don't know, I'm just grasping at things now.

I'm sure more knowledgeable people will be along with some good suggestions!

Littlejellyuk · 18/09/2026 23:12

takealettermsjones · 18/09/2026 22:42

Just maybe say oh it sounds so tough, I had this with Tilly, do you want to hear some of the things that worked for us? Might give you some ideas!

This☝️ 💯
You are not overstepping. You are relating. There is a difference.

I hope the baby gives you an almighty burp 💪

ETA: I would tell her, if in doubt, go on mumsnet! This website is the best 👏
@MyLoudOtter

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread