Birthday party tomorrow but daughter is ill and may miss it

ShitMumsClubMember · 2026-09-18T19:32:51+00:00

More of a what would you do in this situation , but basically I’m screwed and feeling sorry for myself. It’s my daughter birthday tomorrow. I’ve spent a small fortune on her party, we’ve agreed it’s her last full class party. She’s been sent home from school today poorly. She’s not sick, but has slept all afternoon, has a bad headache and keeps going from hot to cold. being realistic, she’s not going to feel well enough to attend the party tomorrow. It’s a drop your child and leave party, I’ve got 20+ kids coming and it’s a morning party. So now I’ve got to arrange for my mum to look after my child, so I can look after all her friends at a party that’s cost me a fortune. Even worse? I’ve skimped on the goodie bags and planned to bulk them up with birthday cake. Which means I either give them half empty goodie bags and keep the 24 person birthday cake. Or take the birthday cake with us and make them all sing happy birthday to my child who won’t be there. being realistic, there’s nothing I can do about it. But I’m so upset that I’ve made so much effort and she won’t even enjoy it. She will be poorly at home without me.

Goldengirl123 · 19/09/2026 12:26

Children perk up very quickly. She might be okay

Newname26 · 19/09/2026 11:56

Great news, hope she has a blast.

TheSmellOfSea · 19/09/2026 11:06

Yay that's excellent news 😀 🎊🎊🎊

Overthebow · 19/09/2026 10:36

ShitMumsClubMember · 19/09/2026 10:34

Thanks everyone. She woke up this morning and has been absolutely fine! No temperature, no headache, she’s great! Party is going ahead with her and even if she’s rallied just for this, she hasn’t missed out!

Great news hope she has a lovely time.

Original poster

ShitMumsClubMember · 19/09/2026 10:34

Thanks everyone. She woke up this morning and has been absolutely fine! No temperature, no headache, she’s great! Party is going ahead with her and even if she’s rallied just for this, she hasn’t missed out!

OP posts:

OriginalUsername2 · 19/09/2026 09:50

I’d definitely cancel. The party shouldn’t go ahead without the birthday girl. Maybe if you ask very nicely the venue will move it, worth an ask.

Hellohelga · 19/09/2026 09:42

I was in this situation once and I cancelled the party and put it back by one week.

fancytoes · 19/09/2026 09:27

Dose her up, she’ll rally. Then flop afterwards. Adrenaline will get her through!

Ifeeltheneedtheneedforcoffee · 19/09/2026 09:24

Hope your dd is feeling better.
It depends on the type of party and age of kids.
I wouldnt be babysitting but would mesagae the parents to say dd is poorly cant cancel the party but feel free to use the venue (if soft play etc) but parents need to stay to supervise their own children
Then pop in with party bags with pre cut birthday cake

Lentilcakes · 19/09/2026 09:21

Seziah · 19/09/2026 09:14

I would cancel, I wouldn’t be supervising 20 kids for no reason. The money is gone either way and I would feel bad for my DD knowing she was at home while her mum and friends were at her party. The kids will probably talk about how fun it was at school and I know it’s just a party but it feels a bit cruel

Edited

This

TheSmellOfSea · 19/09/2026 09:18

Seziah · 19/09/2026 09:14

I would cancel, I wouldn’t be supervising 20 kids for no reason. The money is gone either way and I would feel bad for my DD knowing she was at home while her mum and friends were at her party. The kids will probably talk about how fun it was at school and I know it’s just a party but it feels a bit cruel

Edited

Good point

TheSmellOfSea · 19/09/2026 09:18

I'd be asking other parents to supervise.

Also agree dd may be ok if she's had enough calpol?

Floppyearedlab · 19/09/2026 09:17

Hope DD is feeling much better and is getting her party outfit on!!

user293948849167 · 19/09/2026 09:15

Assuming she’s not got D&V I would probably dose her up on calpol and take her. Even if she’s not quite up to playing she can enjoy seeing her friends and have them sing happy birthday.
They will all be spreading germs around each-other at school anyway.

Seziah · 19/09/2026 09:14

I would cancel, I wouldn’t be supervising 20 kids for no reason. The money is gone either way and I would feel bad for my DD knowing she was at home while her mum and friends were at her party. The kids will probably talk about how fun it was at school and I know it’s just a party but it feels a bit cruel

Simplelobsterhat · 19/09/2026 09:01

I'd probably cancel if she isn't well enough, but if you don't want to waste the money, I'd tell the other parents the activity is there for them but you will be looking after your child, so they will have to stay if their child still wants to go. I wouldn't be leaving my ill child to look after others people's! And party bags aren't important - unless she's having another cake too, I don't feel like you should be cutting her cake before she has seen it / been well enough to blow out some candles, even if that is only with family.

OnePearlHelper · 19/09/2026 08:50

Kids get over things quickly so you never know she might be ok otherwise I’d cancel it, you’re not getting the money back whatever you do. I wouldn’t want to spend my time supervising everyone else’s child when mines not there.

Ophy83 · 19/09/2026 08:46

ShitMumsClubMember · 18/09/2026 20:51

Thanks everyone. I hope she feels better in the morning but the bug has been going around the school and it’s looking like a 48+ hour thing. I have told her she can have calpol and sit in the corner but I’m not sure she’ll even manage that. She’s slept all afternoon.
I can’t cancel or move the party, the cancellation policy this late is loss of full price so I wouldn’t gain anything.

That just means they want payment, you dont have to actually go to the party yourself.

Favouritefruits · 19/09/2026 08:43

How’s she feeling this morning ?

Newname26 · 19/09/2026 08:40

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/09/2026 21:54

If your dd isn’t well enough to go, message the other parents to see if they, or some of them, can stay and look after the kids. Or just say it’s no longer a drop and go but they’re welcome to take the kids along.

You couldn’t possibly be expected to go and supervise all these other kids yourself. Your dd will surely want her Mum at home. And don’t take her birthday cake, that’s just silly.

Thats certainly an option to ask another parent if they could effectively run the party, even if it becomes a great big playdate rather than a party.

I'd hate to disappoint a bundle of kids.

Op hopefully your DD is a bit better today

MJagain · 19/09/2026 08:11

ShitMumsClubMember · 18/09/2026 20:51

Thanks everyone. I hope she feels better in the morning but the bug has been going around the school and it’s looking like a 48+ hour thing. I have told her she can have calpol and sit in the corner but I’m not sure she’ll even manage that. She’s slept all afternoon.
I can’t cancel or move the party, the cancellation policy this late is loss of full price so I wouldn’t gain anything.

You’d gain your morning back!!

no way would I host a party my child was too ill to attend

you haven’t lost the money… it’s already gone… don’t matyr yourself further.

YessicaHaircut · 19/09/2026 07:08

What bad luck OP, really hope your daughter feels better after a good sleep and can go at least to some of her party. Agree with keeping your DM on hand to take her home if she starts flagging.
If she’s really too poorly to go and everything is non-refundable, in your shoes I’d probably go ahead with the party, but WhatsApp the parents this morning to let them know. Ask them to stay to supervise their kids if they can because you will be popping in and out of the party if your DD needs you. Great ideas above about asking the party kids to record a message for DD. Give them cake but don’t bother with singing, and of course make sure you take a big piece home for DD!

JMSA · 19/09/2026 06:10

What a shame that the venue wouldn’t let you reschedule. Have you asked to move the date?
Fingers crossed your daughter is well enough. I’ve never heard of a party going ahead without the birthday child! I suppose the only plus side of going ahead is all the presents she could look forward to opening when feeling better.

Justmadesourkraut · 18/09/2026 23:12

If you do go ahead, line them up to sing Happy Birthday and video it. At the start of the party ask everyone to come to you for 2 minutes during the party and record a little message/tell a joke etc That way,v you will bring home a heap of presents and a nice video with messages from her friends, for her to open and watch.

RedSnail1 · 18/09/2026 22:51

How far is it from your house, perhaps she could attend for a while, for the children to sing happy birthday, cake etc. and then go home?