AIBU To pin child’s wrists to their side

I certainly would have had no idea in real time whether it was a lawful thing to do.
I googled searched it after I inexplicably got jumped on in this thead. And I still think there is dubeity about the legality of an adult doing this to a child even in this situation.

If the child's mother had taken exception to OP's action - and I'm amazed she didn't- and chose to make trouble for OP and put a different spin on what happened it definitely would not be clear cut.

I don't know if you are legally trained or not. Im certainly not. Im approaching this with a lay person's view point

I don't think what you did was wrong but I'd be reluctant to do it in case the parent started kicking off.

The law says you are allowed to use reasonable force to protect yourself. Painlessly restraining a child's wrists for a minimal period after several verbal attempts to tell him to stop assaulting you is an entirely reasonable use of force.

Case law? It would be crazy to treat any of this as criminal. Which is why the word "technically" was used.

A quick Google search will tell you what the law is. In this instance it would be lawful

I always feel sorry for annoying kids like this who have fecking useless parents that do teach them to behave decently.

It would be mitigating circumstances.

How old are the children that you are supervising and how many are there? Why is it usually you supervising? It sounds like if the eldest child your neighbour has is 5 that you are regularly supervising her very young children?

You were quite restrained, I'd probably have raised my voice at him and his mother and caused a neighbourhood incident.

Yes but it's not like she battered him. She just painlessly physically stopped him. The whole thing is a non-event from a legal perspective.

I'd love to see some case law that backs up your claim that a 5 year old throwing grass is an incident where self-defence is warranted. That's one of the most outlandish claims I've seen on here.

He was lucky not to get a smack 😜

You did what the child’s mother should have done. I had a child run up and jump on me right after an operation on my back. This child was known to do this and the mother never once told her not to. There are boundaries that children need to learn, and if their own parents aren’t teaching them, then someone else will. I think this whole keep your hands off children is ridiculous. If a child is touching you or throwing things at you, you should be well within your rights to restrain them. If my child was throwing grass on someone, I’d be mortified and step in immediately. If the person they were doing it to had held their hands to stop them, I’d totally understand why. When someone tells you to stop, you stop. It’s an important lesson to learn.

Personally I would have probably lost the plot at the child's mother and had an argument with her about not parenting her child. Which wouldn't have been a good way to deal with the situation. So I'm not criticising OP for the way she dealt with it

To an extent you are right and sadly I've walked past a child that's fallen over and was crying (they weren't seriously hurt) but in the summer I grabbed a little girls arm to stop her walking in front of a car.

Here the op is protecting themselves from having grass (which stains clothes) thrown at them in front of the mother

You are obviously better versed in the law than I am.

Well as someone who is not totally familiar with what the law actually is on restraining children, or even touching children that are unrelated to me I would personally be very wary of doing this.
I don't know why my comnent is controversial. I'm not criticising OP for what she did. I think she had good cause. But I thought the safest and general rule is not to touch other people's children because it is very easy for an adult to be viewed as being in the wrong in situations like this.

It's fine. I've held my toddlers arm's to stop her walloping me, and would reasonably expect anyone to do the same if she was prodding their face or something after multiple verbal warnings.

It's also not wrong. You can use reasonable force. Shoving him to the floor or breaking his arm would be illegal and cruel and obviously abusive. Lightly holding the arm of a 5 year old to prevent throwing is not.

Also you know the neighbour and the child. I'd never do this to a random child and would not like a stranger doing this, but I wouldn't be alarmed or bothered if it was a friend. But then again, I'd have removed my child in the first place 😂

Not being goading but technically wrong how? She did it in front of the parent in an act of self defence, she didn't injure or even, by the sounds of it, make the little brat cry?

Technically this would be self-defence (boy was technically assaulting OP), which is an acceptable reason for using force and this would be a reasonable use as no more than required to stop the assault.

I wouldn't put my hands on a child like that unless they were injuring someone. I wouldn't be spending time with an adult who did that either. She should have been firmer with him but if it was bothering me that much I would have just got up and gone home rather than restraining someone else's child.

You shouldn't have had to. Under 10, throwing stuff at someone presumably isn't classed as assault, but he should be controlled so that doesn't happen-kids have caused serious injury by throwing stuff at people. Grass this time, next time what? Stones? Bottles? His mum (and dad if he's on the scene) should have taught him this long before 5, and if there's some reason he can't be expected to behave, they should be supervising and intervening immediately.
I feel sorry for his classmates and teachers.

It could have spectacularly backfired. Doesn't seem like the parents even cared though?

Because there are laws about using physical restraint and as i understand it physical restaint is only supposed to be used in emergency or extreme circumstances.

Not unreasonable. You’ve taught this child an important lesson on consent that really the parent should have been doing but failed to do.