AIBU To pin child’s wrists to their side

I don't think I would have physically restrain someone else's child, unless it was grabbing them from in front of a car or somthing, but I would have returned them to there parent much sooner.

First time "no, I'm not playing. Why don't you go ask your own mummy"

Any time after that, "I'm not playing, come on let's take you back to mummy" walk over with them "I think ..... is wanting someone to play with"

Repeat until parent gets the message

Anyone who thinks restraining a child for throwing grass is a justified use of reasonable force clearly hasn't read the guidance around it.

She’s clearly a wet lettuce, so that wasn’t going to happen.

(The Mum NOT the OP)

If she'd done absolutely nothing I would've left probably as I'd have been pissed off. I would not have touched someone else's child.

What is that supposed to mean? They are in place for a reason: to protect children.
Doesn't the welfare and safety of children concern you?

I think a better course of action would have been to say to the parent please parent your child to stop them doing this and get the parent to actually step up

Except she clearly wasn't going to do that. So would you continue standing there indefinitely whilst he threw things at you?

I wouldn't have touched someone else's child,I would've stood up and moved out of the way and continued to stand until the mother reprimanded him.

I actually thought you meant pinning his arms to his sides (his clothes) with a safety pin or such like. Doh.

That ,mother was appalling. Poor teachers who are going to behave to deal with him, and could be disciplined for physically stopping him, as you did @Calmondeck

You didnt pin his wrists if was as described. Stay away from that family. Forget it

I can't imagine parents like that not completely exploding at you if they thought you were even vaguely hurting their little monkey.

Oh for gods sake

Away from her food?

The parents should have moved themselves to intervene.

No one is getting prosecuted out of this in a million years, whatever the ins and outs of “was it strictly self defence” / “was it assault?” Etc It wouldn’t pass the “public interest” test even if you could technically argue it was assault.

Tbh it sounds like the only thing you could have done!

His parents sound useless.

I don’t think you even “pinned” them from you OP, you just held them there for a moment. It’s not like it was prolonged.

The parents should have got up and physically intervened well before this point.

This is ridiculous. No one assaulted anyone but if OP did assault a child there is not a chance that she could get off with self defense over a 5 year old throwing grass. She should have just walked away.

Gentle parenting gets on my nerves. No further comment, just that.

I think in this case it would be perfectly warranted!

I was at a public paddling pool once with a groups of friends & their kids. I was in my normal clothes supervising my kids. One of my friend's boys splashed me on purpose so I told him not to & I'd march him back to his mum if he did it again. You can guess the rest. I took hold of his arm & marched him back to my friend. I can't be doing with kids not following instructions and I'd be mortified if my dds did this & would have no problem another adult disciplining them if I wasn't there

I also think it should be perfectly normal to tell a child not to do something that's annoying or potentially dangerous. I've seen posts where people say they'd rather someone go and find them rather than speaking to their child directly which has always struck me as impractical.

Why can't someone address the child directly first time it happens? I do.

I think you should have made your displeasure clear to the child’s mum and said something like

“Mary, will you feckin’ parent your own child now and stop him ruining our nice picnic!”

Sometimes parents need reminding about what their primary role is.

if i did this and the parent started kicking off? they would be told in no uncertain terms to parent up and stop their child. And then i may, depending on their reaction, have thrown clods at them. Just to reinforce my point.

I’m kind of relieved after reading the full OP. When I read the opening title I was picturing a poor child running around with the cuffs of their jumper secured to the waist of their trousers with a couple of safety pins. Now that would have been a step too far 😆

Of course self defence is warranted. He had been asked to stop and ignored it, he was technically assaulting OP and ruining her food, and there was the potential at any time of the grass to get in her eye or for him to pick up a stick or stone and cause more serious injury. OP's use of force was limited only to what was reasonable to stop him doing that, she didn't hurt him.

You don't need case law, this one is covered by statute.

this absolutely BATSHIT idea that nobody can tell another child to stop misbehaving, especially when the parent either says nothing or is ineffectual, is why so many kids are so badly behaved now.

(add the usual disclaimer that the people who are shit parents but get all in a knot if another adult tells their child to behave, are constantly bleating about "where's the village")