Friday night picnic in the park with another family. Neighbours from down the street, our kids play together multiple times a week. Often I am the parent supervising, and am usually playful and interacting with the kids, tonight I was happy to have adult company and a chat. The neighbour’s eldest child (aged 5) started picking clumps of grass and throwing them on my head while I was sitting eating. I said no. He continued to pick grass and throw it on my head, at my face, down my shirt, demanding that I come play with him. The mum, in a sing song voice said “oh I don’t think CalmOnDeck is liking that”, he ignored her, continued despite my protests. My DH snapped, “stop, child’s name”. When the child approached me again I held his wrists to prevent him from throwing more grass, and said firmly “I am not playing this game”. His mum then reacted saying “darling, come sit down”.
I feel a bit unsettled because it didn’t feel comfortable telling off someone else’s child, and I wondered whether it was unacceptable to hold his wrists. But I was also completely baffled by his parent’s lack of early intervention. When we got home, my DH thought it was outrageous the child’s parents were so passive, despite me clearly saying no and objecting that food was getting covered in grass.
Was IBU for holding his wrists? Should I have asked his parents to react? Keen to know how others would have handled this