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AIBU?

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Dishonest mothers help or am I to blame?

77 replies

Newmama2222 · 18/09/2026 17:57

Hired “mothers help” on a temp basis. We agreed on self employment. After being sick she is now requesting almost full pay for the days she was sick ,hol pay and pretending we agreed she’d be an employee. She’s been sending her hrs at the end of each week and I’ve been paying net with no deductions.
i am not against setting her up as an employee / worker but I now feel I’m lacking in trusting her as she’s been taking the over payments under the agreement she’d do her own taxes and now is pretending she thought I would do these my end on top. She’s also pressuring me to pay her almost full wage for the days she’s had off this week. She is already employed by another family and I know full well she was working there FT while not with me this week. Feel like I’m being taken for a ride AIBU?

OP posts:
HorseandHeron · 21/09/2026 17:03

maggisimpson · 19/09/2026 10:47

Call HMRC, tell them the terms and conditions the mother's help was working under eg who set the hours, set the wage, provided the equipment, decided how the job was done - they will tell you if she is employed or self employed.

Employment status isn't something the employer or worker just chooses, it's based on the actual job.

If you know for certain she also works elsewhere, tell them this too.

If you know she was working for them and pretending to be sick,. which your post implies, then sack her and point out her lies are demands for money could be construed as fraud and extortion. You are getting legal advice.

Next time, maybe use an agency.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/09/2026 17:25

if She is truly self-employed. She would’ve given you her own terms/contract.

She hasn’t done this. She’s pulling a fast one

I would simply pay her for the hours that she has done this week or not done and terminate the agreement

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