Am I being too friendly and helpful at the reception school gates .?

I think you sound lovely ♥️

What a way to go about the world. What is lost by that attitude to the warmth and kindness of other people is almost certainly far far greater than the tiniest chance of something bad being done to your child by a 'random unvetted adult'. What children need to learn is judgement, discernment and gpod insticts - which can only be learned by interacting with people - not a blanket assumption of malevolence

You sound lovely but let the parents help their kids unless you are friends (not just friendly) with the parents. It's not reserved or to do with a 'village', I'd rather my daughter learned to help herself without an adult automatically stepping in. Never give food unless you've asked the parent. Please do volunteer though.

You sound great, keep on being you! You might get a few people who don't like it, but whatever, you can't please everyone!

The world needs more like you OP 🫶🏻 I love that you do this. Don’t stop just to conform, this world can never have too much kindness. Thank you for all the wee things you do to make a big difference by the sounds of it.

My son is 14 now but when I he was little I left him to do things himself wherever possible before I jumped in, this was deliberate. I’d honestly be a bit annoyed if someone else was jumping in to help! Sorry! You do sound nice, I’d have loved you chatting to him!

This
Its lovely being kind and chatting to kids and parents
But, I would find it weird if I didn’t know you or your kids.

also, as this PP said, never offer food! Or even a sweet. I have a child with anaphylaxis so understandably protective of them and who is physically near them

Sorry if I'm pissing on anyone's chips here, but I'm as British (and to really skewer the stereotype, English) as you want to get and will talk the hind legs off a donkey. Absolutely I chat to the kids, help them out, join in their games at parties etc. it hasn't ever been commented on or complained about and it's not an unusual trait. And I'm not in the north, either!
OP sounds like my kind of person, and lovely, but can we please put this bizarre sweeping notion that the Brits are cold and reserved in the bin, along with 'our food is shit' and we all talk like the queen. Outdated, unwarranted and as a non-reserved Brit, annoying!

I’m going to go against the apparent consensus in this thread and say I
think children should do as much for themselves as possible. My opinion is based on a lot of learning I have done about child development and my experience in
working as a teaching assistant for many years. Of course many children will be grateful for someone helping them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of doing it for themselves.

You sound wonderful and many Mums will be so grateful for you as the children grow up and you can start to be a village.

I was a bit like that too and now I currently have a kitchen full of teenage girls all chatting away to me, telling me the gossip and their worries. (Only 1 is mine).

Carry on being you x

@sofisofi you sound amazing! I try and do the same as I also want to encourage my kids to be less shy.

I wish more people were more community focused.

Socialize with parents, not children.
You are not a member of staff, don't have a DBS.
I don't want my kid to be taught to be too accepting of 'random', not vetted adults.
I'd be so pissed.

So sorry Irish people! I am English but hung out with Irish people for a long time in London and genuinely felt more Irish in terms of culture. I really don't get why we English are generally so reserved - it's almost as if we are afraid to be open and friendly. Let go people!! There's really nothing to be afraid of in being friendly to others.

You sound like a lovely kind hearted person.

I am British and am about 25 years older than you. I would warn you that there are a lot of people who will take advantage of your good nature.

So carry on, but be careful you’re not giving more than you can afford. I don’t mean financially, I mean time, sanity etc.

Youre doing great lovely lady

I think its lovely, I am an older mam of a 4 year old (I'm age 34) and I think its refreshing you are helping and have that confidence. I didnt have that confidence at your age so hats off to you for that. I would appreciate you if you were a volunteer at my sons school and would generally just think you were being helpful at the school gates too. My little boy fell over on the other side of little yard one day before going in and another mother picked him up and dusted him down before I got to him...she apologised when I walked over, im assuming because she was worried I thought she had over stepped, and I thanked her for helping him and said there was absolutely no need to apologise.

Ive seen some discouraging comments and its sad that we live in a society that can be quite reserved and judgemental.

If your worried or feel parents are a bit off then maybe just talk to the children instead, but to me it sounds like you are a lovely influence on the children in general. Some of the parents at our school gates dont interact and are glued to their phone which is so sad to see.

I think helping the children is when she has volunteered in the classroom rather than infront of the parent

Irish here too, and also struggle living in the south of England with the way the people are here. The people further north were so much friendlier.

The OP's culture sounds more like our own friendly Irish culture.

If I see the children struggling to roll up their sleeves, or if their water bottles or bags fall, my instinct is to step in.

That to me is overstepping, especially so if their parents are close by.

Sometimes you want your dc to learn without someone stepping in - one of mine would have made full use of someone doing things for her - still would 😁

you sound so lovely & friendly - keep being you!! ♥️

Can we be friends? That sounds lovely.

I am surprised the school have you all in the classroom. Where I work this is a real bug bear and would definitely be frowned upon. Parents drop at the door and TAs and teachers are there to help.

If it's the norm where you are though I think being friendly is fine, but I wouldn't be hanging round to chat to kids and parents specifically in the classroom. For some this can make it harder to settle. Also I agree with others I wouldn't be helping, it seems weird children would come up to you and ask you instead of a parent and I would redirect them back to them so you don't tread on their toes.

God I would have loved to meet you at the school gates! It seemed like all the other parents were so cold and dreary (not that they actually were dour people, it was just normal life-stress).

Seeing a friendly face who was happy to occasionally muck in with wrangling the kids would have brightened my day so much, and as a full-time sole parent even the tiniest bit of help (like rolling up sleeves) always felt like a gift.

Keep being yourself, you are teaching your sweet wee lad very good life lessons, and hopefully your openness and warmth will shift the school-gate culture a little bit.

You sound a delightful person. Keep doing what you are doing. We need more people like you in the world. 🙏

No it’s fine, you’re a school mum being helpful. We’re reserved… not cold.