AIBU to feel uneasy about my nearly 17-year-old dating a 15-year-old?

When I was 17 I was dating a 25 year old so things could be worse 🤣

Sounds perfectly fine to me

My daughter started dating her bf when she was 17 turning 18 and he was 16 turning 17. At one point he was 16 and she was 18. She was quite embarrassed herself for a time in terms of what others thought about it as he was year 12 and she was year 13 and there are aspects of him where the difference in maturity shows up. He is quite a mature boy for his age in many other ways however - highly articulate, kind , thoughtful, respectful. She can be quite immature in some ways as she is AuADHD so probably behind peers in some ways. They have both helped / benefited each other over the last 10 months they have been together. At 16 however the sex part wasn’t a worry for me I guess but still needed to ensure my daughter was taking the right precautions and was approachable so she could discuss any concerns without embarrassment. I also communicated with his Mum ( who is lovely) and ensured she was ok with things.

The issues now are she is on a gap year with a uni place for next year and seems sorted eith travel plans and a job. He is now in final year of A levels and applications with all the pressure that brings. They still seem pretty smitten. I guess only time will tell how long it will last. At 15/17 probably less likely to be longer term but who knows! Try not to judge or worry too much and let it play its course. Young people learn a lot about themselves in relationship to others. It’s not a bad thing - just stay close by and be there if/ when she needs you for a chat and be ready to just listen.

This.

Girls don't mature faster than boys. Society just perpetuates the myth to hold girls accountable whilst excusing boys.

It is misogyny.

It only appears that girls mature faster because they ae held to higher standard of behaviour and oeople spend far less time making excuses for them.

That kind of age gap would definitely be seen as unacceptable.

Statutory rape is not a term used in the UK - I'm assuming the OP is in the UK - so is not something the OP's daughter would be guilty of.

The boy is almost 16, which is the age of consent, a young person of 16/17 wouldn't be prosecuted for having sex with another young person of 15/16 in the UK.

Wow that's such a big age gap 😂 😂

Keep your nose out OP.

Yes I imagine this plays a part

So she did those things aged 16, which he will be soon?

Based on a past experience, teenage “dating” age gaps need to be at least 2 yrs before any official investigation would be merited and not even then depending on circumstances.

youre over thinking it. She’s 16, he’s 15

Yes this is a gen z trend that fills me with hope, when I think of the predatory older (20s) men hanging around the periphery of my teen friendship group. However one school year is fine. A non issue!

This wouldn't bother me, if anything, him being a bit younger would make me less likely to worry about her being pressured imto anything. But that's just me.

Maybe she’s more comfortable with a younger boy in terms of sex etc, less expectations? When I was 16, I went out with a 19-year-old and believe me there are a lot of expectations!

There are many teenagers under the age of 16 who are sexually active with other teenagers a little older than them . There are teenagers on the pill using condoms/protection. Because young people under 16 can be sexually active . And professionals know this. They don't encourage sex but they except it happens. Which is why there is confidential support for teenagers who are sexually.

The only way there could be any charges is if the person didn't consent then it could be rape charge which is the same for an adult.

Think how many young teenagers would be in prison if it was so black and white.

While YABU, I do commend you for not just assuming that an age gap is no problem when it's the girl who is older. That said, I don't think you need to worry. I slept with a sixteen year old when I was eighteen, and I don't think I broke him 😉

Wouldnt worry me but I would talk to her about under 16 sex would be illegal and under 18 sharing images is

I was 17 and my BF was 19. I was in upper VI and he was in his first year at uni (I was a June baby so young for the year) and he was a September baby so one of the oldest in his). Nobody thought anything of it. It’s a perfectly reasonable age gap. If the sexes were reversed would it still be a problem?

No it isnt
Its sex with a minor and the law exists to protect vulnerable children/ teens from predatory adults not to punish teens with barely a year between them from having consensual sex.

There's no such thing as statutory rape in the UK.

And even if it did, it only applies if one party is over 18 and the other is under 16.

I'd strongly advise against them having sex before he's 16, as that's statutory rape, but otherwise I think the relationship is okay.

I read something really interesting about this idea that girls mature faster than boys. It suggested that it’s part of the sexualisation and exploitation of girls. That we expect higher behaviour standards, and for girls to become useful socially, caring for siblings, moderating the behaviour of boys and being sexually available to older men. All part of misogyny.

You're over the top. Sounds like she picked him because he's younger and less threatening than an older boy. Why assume theyre going to have sex anyway. Kids are not all the same.

This is exactly the age I was was when I met my now husband. I was just about to start sixth form and he was going into year 11, I turned 17, 5 months before he turned 16. We’ve been together 17 years now and have two beautiful children and a sickeningly happy life. Nothing icky about that at all 😀

That's totally normal. 15 and 16.
No age gap really at all. As long as they have things in common and are at a similar maturity level.
I remember dating an 18 yo when I was 15/16.