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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do abusive men ever stop?

6 replies

alphabetboxes · 18/09/2026 09:31

i left my ex husband because of dv.

it hasn’t stopped, just changed to family court and character assassinations to anyone that will listen. The police are involved but it’s slow, and the children are still being forced to see him.

do they ever get bored and move on? I wished for a long time he would meet someone new and lose interest in harassing me.

aibu to think this can’t carry on for another decade, or do they never stop?

OP posts:
ZippyPeer · 18/09/2026 09:34

Ah that sounds really hard, so sorry you are going through this.

There are ways to seem more boring to him, try reading about grey rocking and how to deal with a narcissist

Octavia64 · 18/09/2026 09:35

Mine got bored and moved on.

Catza · 18/09/2026 09:36

In order for them to stop, they first need to realise what they are doing and that's a big ask. I worked closely with a charity who helps perpetrators of domestic violence and they are doing great work and many people turned their lives around. But getting them engaged to begin with is rather hard.

alphabetboxes · 18/09/2026 09:54

Octavia64 · 18/09/2026 09:35

Mine got bored and moved on.

Thank you, this gives me hope! How long did it take?

OP posts:
PrettyTiger · 18/09/2026 10:17

Yes they do

Rainingasusual · 18/09/2026 14:56

I second the grey rock method. Mine is now at the point where the only control he can exert is deliberately delaying replies/decisions/visits. It's taken nine years.

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