’m really torn and would appreciate some honest outside perspective.
My daughter is 6 and currently at a private school, and we pay a significant amount in school fees. On the face of it, she is happy at school. She seems unaware that she hasn’t been invited to a number of parties that are happening around her, and she has never come home upset about being excluded.
The problem is that I’m finding the school much harder than she is.
I’ve increasingly felt singled out and uncomfortable within the parent community. We have less money than many of the families, and we’re also from a different religious and cultural background, which sometimes makes me feel like I don’t quite fit in.
I find myself worrying about what this means for her socially and whether she will eventually become aware of it. I should add she’s some close great friends but isn’t in their class this year.
She is my rainbow baby after a lot of heartache, so I also recognise that I can be quite protective of her. I sometimes wonder whether I’m seeing things through an anxious lens and imagining how her childhood should look , particularly because I want so much for her to have a happy, carefree childhood.
At the same time, I’m thinking: why am I paying so much money for a school where I don’t feel comfortable and where I’m questioning whether we fit? I’ve some good friends at school, I mean I question this as they say I’m over invested and that she’s happy and stop worrying.
I actually want to move her to another school, but our house sale isn’t going through, which makes everything much more complicated and is this running away anyway ?
I suffer from anxiety and I’ve started a demanding job - no both don’t help! Also I had to move her once before due to her previous school closure.
So AIBU to want to leave, even though my daughter is currently happy and hasn’t asked to leave? I think informing myself insane with this.