AIBU to expect my boyfriend to know the difference between step and half siblings

I’d expect him to know. But does he have any? Because I think in a family with half siblings they’re often just referred to, and thought of, as ‘your brother’, with no distinction between full and half, particularly when they live together. Possibly same with step siblings.

YANBU, not at all. But I'd just say this, I think it's fairly common for blokes to be a bit dense over stuff like this. I'm slow when the conversation turns to steps and halfs, or second cousins or once removed. Even grandparents and in-laws & nephews & nieces take me a few moments to get straight in my head tbh. It's a sort of "relationship blindness" and I've met other men who have it but never any women. I didn't have any steps or halfs in my family growing up, it was all very straightforward so I guess that's why. Also, to be absolutely frank, dealing with rellies - whether sending cards or wedding invites or whatever - was very much a job for the womenfolk back in the day. No excuse for it now. Sit him down with his "homework".

I think a significant minority of people confuse them, actually.

Any sensible person should. Some, as well as many senseless people, do not.

I grew up with my half brothers. We’re all in my 50s and 60s now. We all have the same surname. Some people still think we’re steps. It’s because my mum is their stepmum I suppose.

I call my half sisters, same father step sisters, not a big deal to me

Yes, even when there may be none in his family. Most people I expect know someone who has a step sibling or half sibling, or both.

This doesn’t make much sense but if I’m correct you are saying that you call your half sisters who you share the same dad with, your step sisters?

Why would you do that when they’re not your step sisters.

Of course he should . Anyone with half a brain should know the difference.

I was one of 3 siblings then my half sister was born much later. Both dad’s useless. We refer to her as our sister not our half sister. This is because the dads weren’t that relevant in our family unfortunately anyway so our link was our mum. We were brought up together. Also as there are 3 of us with the same dad I would never want her to feel left out that she was the only “half sister”.

A step sibling is not the same as a half sibling though so I would expect someone to know the difference and say it right.

They’re terms that logically I know the meaning of. But honestly either term crosses my lips or ears once a year maybe at most and I’d have to engage my brain as to which was which and could easily get them the wrong way round in quick conversation.

they have no physical real need to distinguish in my world. I can’t think of a good analogy - the only thing that comes to mind is a turnip and a sweed but that’s probably not a great example.

I know most people call their half-siblings their sibling, which makes total sense. But to be 30yo and not understand the difference between a full, half, and step sibling is pretty unusual.

Does he know the difference between there, they're and their? 😆

This is true for me as well. I can figure it out but it is not something I have the need to use in my family and friend circle so I am likely to use interchangeably of not fully engaged. Might have used the terms less than 10 times in my life.

Growing up I never really knew what the difference was between cousins or nieces and nephews. We only grew up with the four of us at home, and the only family we had were abroad. And they were all called our cousins, or aunties and uncles, regardless of who they were to us! If took me to be adult to learn it all 🫠

What has he actually said?

I’d expect someone to know the difference but I wouldn’t expect them to differentiate. My kids all call each other siblings and I’d be upset and annoyed if they said “half” about each other even though the older two are from my first marriage. They’re brothers and sisters as they’re all my children and that’s how they think of each other too.

My half sister is just my sister. I've occasionally had people think she is my step sister out of stupidness

Respectfully, how they think of one another, or what they call one another, is up to them, surely? Obviously they're all your children, but that doesn't mean they necessarily think of one another as full siblings, given that they have one different parent they'd have to mentally delete to do so.

You'd be surprised at the number of people who don't know the difference! I have friend who has a half sister, same mum, different dad. But she will keep calling her her step sister!

Seems like a basic thing to know but if you don't grow up with either I can see why you'd just not think about it that much.

I would have to look up what once, twice removed means in relation to cousins. I did know once but obviously didn't care enough to commit it to memory.

A lot of people these days seem confused by the terms so it doesn't suprise me too much.

It's one of those things I know, but often have to think about as they're just not terms I use on any kind of regular basis.

@Lauralaaaa
I think, as he says, he probably does know, but if he doesn’t have reason to use the terminology much it won’t come as naturally to him as someone who does.

You're not unreasonable, but I've come across so many people who don't seem to know the difference.

When I was working, I had pupils who referred to their 'stepsisters', when - in fact - all the siblings had the same father. The children used the term 'stepsisters' because that's what they'd heard their parents saying.