AIBU to expect my boyfriend to know the difference between step and half siblings

If you don't have first hand experience of step or half siblings then it might not be something you take much notice of as it's not relevant to you.
If you meet someone with a more complicated family set up than you, you may know who is related to who by birth or marriage once told but you might forget the correct terms because it doesn't directly involve you.

I don’t know anyone who uses the term “half” in real life to describe their actually half siblings. They all just use brother/sister. I understand what it means but I don’t think it’s commonly used in practice. “Step” is used a lot though.

Not in English. In some languages, there's a separate word for an uncle or aunt through marriage. (Also separate words for an uncle or aunt on your mother or father's side.)

I still get mixed up, but in some parts of the Balkans, a blood aunt who is your parent's sister is 'tetka'; her husband is your 'tetak'.

A blood uncle who is your parent's brother is 'ujak'; his wife your 'una'.

Lots of people do muddle them up, because it's not important to them. It's not that they don't know, it's just they are not thinking about it.

You can just explain why it's important to you, and he'll use the correct term from now on.

perhaps that is how they were referred to, by my dm ? who knows. i didnt make up the term as a child.

i didnt grow up with my step siblings
i referred to them as step siblings
turns out they are half siblings - i havent seem them for 28 years, understandably, the common denominator, our father, died 29 years ago

Ok but in real life that relationship is nephew-uncle. Has anyone, anywhere ever referred to their ‘uncle in law’?

I had a friend once who admitted he wasn't entirely certain of the definition of "cousin" - not second or removed or anything, just cousin - or niece/nephew or uncle/aunt

...because he'd never had any

surely technically they are his nephews-in-law?

In the same way that your sister is his sister-in-law

Why? They’re not your stepsisters.

Why does it matter to you whether his brother is a half-brother or a step-brother?

You could procreate with one but not the other 🫣 I think that's an easier way to differentiate between them, for those who don't understand the difference.

I knew someone at work who used to talk about her step-sister. But when she gave more detail it turned out that the sister was a child her mother had before marriage and had been brought up by other family members, so biologically a half-sister not step. Step-sisters are related by marriage not biology. I didn't correct her but it shows it's not uncommon to make this error.

There's a lot of people who think the term half-sibling is rude or disrespectful in some way. Maybe it's a sensitivity about mum or dad having had children with more than one partner, I don't know. Technically/biologically it's a correct term.

But I also understand why it's easier and nicer to refer to your siblings who grew up in the same household from early childhood simply as siblings. I have noticed that this is particularly the case where the same mother is shared (though this usually also means same household!) I have a friend whose household siblings consisted of her and a "full" sister from mums first marriage and three half sibs from mums second marriage. I have noticed she refers to her household siblings as just brothers and sisters, never half. But her dad also has more bio children from his second marriage who she just refers to as "my dad's other children" as if she doesn't consider them siblings at all. Proximity has a lot to do with it I guess.

Well, to complicate it further - my sister and I share a mother but not a biological father.

My father adopted her, however. So, legally, she is my full sister, but biologically half sister.

She has a father (until quite recently) as well as my dad.

My dad took great exception when she referred to him as her stepdad, and her kids referred to him as their step-granddad. The latter did feel quite unnecessary to be honest.

We grew up together only until I was seven, and so she was never really part of my wider family and didn't go to the same schools as me, so kids at school never believed I had a sister.

I do just call her my sister and her kids are my niece and nephew.

I got chatgpt to tell me last night. It took it ages . It was actually laughing at me 💀

Anyway it said half is if one biological link it doesn't matter if its the mother or father.

It gave the example of if Bob was married to Sarah they have a child . Bob and Sarah end their relationship. Sarah the gets married to mark. Sarah's children would then be his step children and any children mark had before getting married would be Sarah's children step siblings because theres no biological link.

So step siblings no biological link
Half siblings biological link to one pf the parents.

I know the difference but it's not so instinctive that I dont have to take a second to remind myself which each one is. It's just unfamiliarity. I hail from a family and frindship group that doesnt have any bleneded families.

I'd expect people to be able to work it out if pushed, but different families sometimes use different terms for the same things. My step-niece has people she refers to as sisters/brothers and others she refers to as half-sister/brothers. Technically they are all her half-siblings but she lives in a house with some and not others.

YABU. I’m sure he knows lots of things you don’t know, and I’m sure you know lots of things he doesn’t know. Shaming someone for what they don’t know sounds like a great way to discourage them from asking questions and learning new things.

My Oxbridge educated dh didn’t know what to call my sister’s sons. He thought they were “nephews in law”. I suspect he would also be a bit slow on the uptake about half and step siblings (as a half sibling may also be a step child of a new spouse : that would make him stop for a minute).

To me it’s obvious but dh has made me realise there some people just don’t instinctively get some things like that.

Wether they want to or not its biologically wrong.to call them step
My sons know they have a half sister who they dont see for various reasons they are still biologicol half siblings

DW is dyslexic and really struggles with relationship names like this - eg she will say DH sister's daughters rather than "my nieces".

Has been known to refer to me my name, rather than "dad" when speaking to DC.

Like a lot of dyslexic things I have learned to let it go - but it is a bit triggering.

Yes i know the difference no i dont expext anyone else to do so

Yes i am tired of the endless 'i expect' threads people are not all the same stamping your foot doesn't mean everyone thinks the same

No i dont care if my spelling or grammar is correct or not

Have a proper think about ?
Half siblings shsre one parent that can be either the mother or father hence hslf siblings
Step siblings dont share any biological parent
One childs mother maybe married to the other childs father or vice versa