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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wrestle with toddler

14 replies

isthereawayto · 17/09/2026 18:29

I probably am but if your toddler snatches something you don’t want them to have and won’t give it back, and you have to sort of forcibly remove it. Is there a better way than sort of having to wrestle it off them? Feels horribly undignified but also genuinely not sure what else to do!

OP posts:

takealettermsjones · 17/09/2026 18:31

"Swap" something with them - i.e. you hold out toy with your right hand, "look darling, here's Iggle Piggle!" - hand over Iggle Piggle, take contraband with left hand. 😁

whippersnapper55 · 17/09/2026 19:00

You've just got to be quick and whip it off them! Having a toddler keeps you on your toes 😂 if they snatch something, I wouldn't ask nicely for them to give it back (once? twice??) I would whip it off them quickly with a firm 'no thankyou' and put it out of reach!

Floppyearedlab · 17/09/2026 19:02

Depends what it is.
Something dangerous - you do what it takes to get it off them.
Something benign - I’d use the swap technique.

Katemax82 · 17/09/2026 19:08

I have to wrestle my toddler to get his nappy changed

Ablondiebutagoody · 17/09/2026 19:16

How strong is your toddlers grip?! You just take it back.

Negotiating a swap is a very bad way to go. You are the parent, they do what you say.

DancingonmyOwn88 · 17/09/2026 19:56

My son had his toy dinosaur in the splash pad the other day, and a smaller child grabbed it and wouldn’t give it back. Son tolerated for a bit, but then was, quite reasonably, annoyed that he didn’t have his toy to play with. I asked said toddler. He wouldn’t give it. His mum was right behind him saying oh dear well it’s nice to share isn’t it. I said my son has shared, but it is his toy and he’d like it back now please. The mum says well he isn’t making the choice to return it to you at the moment.

I said very loudly OH LOOK A PIGEON and whilst he was distracted, I managed to slide the dinosaur from the toddler’s hand. I didn’t wrestle but I did take it from his grasp.

The mum was absolutely horrified and said I was very rude. But I have no idea what would have been the alternative thing to do! If it was my son I would have just extracted it and handed it over.

shellyleppard · 17/09/2026 19:58

@DancingonmyOwn88 i think you handled the situation very well. Did her toddler get upset when he twigged??

DancingonmyOwn88 · 17/09/2026 20:16

shellyleppard · 17/09/2026 19:58

@DancingonmyOwn88 i think you handled the situation very well. Did her toddler get upset when he twigged??

Thank you! Inevitably he did yes. But I mean they all have to learn don’t they, and it’s not like we were at nursery where all toys are shared. We just moved swiftly on to another part of the water play 😅

fiveyo · 17/09/2026 20:19

I think swapping is fine if they just happen to have something you want and you don’t want to have a brawl. If you’ve told them not to take something and they do it anyway, I’d wrestle it off them.

YorkshireIndie · 17/09/2026 20:26

Ummm depends what it is and how dangerous it is. I have been known to sit on my children to brush their teeth because teeth are a non negotiable. Toddlers are incredibly strong at times. Sometimes I do Grandad/grandma/daddy really want the item can you go give it to them and that works

shellyleppard · 17/09/2026 21:23

@DancingonmyOwn88 exactly lol

NorthFacingGardener · 17/09/2026 21:25

If they really won’t give it to you and you’ve said they have to, then yes undignified wrestling. Toddlers are not know for their reasonableness.

takealettermsjones · 17/09/2026 21:53

Ablondiebutagoody · 17/09/2026 19:16

How strong is your toddlers grip?! You just take it back.

Negotiating a swap is a very bad way to go. You are the parent, they do what you say.

Edited

Yeah but they often don't do what you say, that's the point 🤣 I don't understand how it could possibly be "a very bad way to go" - distraction is hardly a novel idea when parenting toddlers!

Muffsies · 17/09/2026 22:00

Quick under arm or neck tickle usually does it, even a toddler vice grip is weakened. I use this tactic with adults too. If people mess with me i play dirty!

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