I had a longtime male friend who came over to my house yesterday for my birthday - and I'm finding some of his behaviour increasingly irritating. I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or whether he's actually being quite rude.
The latest thing happened yesterday. I asked him what he wanted to eat as I was planning to prepare some food (I hadn't yet eaten). His response was:
'I don't know. I'll eat whatever you leave behind.'
I thought this was a really odd thing to say. I was genuinely asking what he wanted to eat - not offering him my leftovers!
Anyway, I ate my food and - true to his word, he asked if I was done - and he ate what was left afterwards... then he left the plate and cutlery exactly where they were and made no attempt to clear them up. Then he left.
It's the combination that bothered me. It was my birthday, he was a guest in my home - and I was trying to be hospitable. Instead, I felt as though I was somehow expected to feed him whatever happened to be left and then clear up after him.
There are other things that have started to grate too (because I know the above sounds ridiculous).
We were out with another friend last week and she was telling a story of her recent travels. She mentioned a motorbike and he immediately started making loud motorbike-revving noises. Later she mentioned she was going to a church event and he started singing in a sort of exaggerated choir-boy voice.
It felt very attention-seeking and performative. I mentioned it to the friend afterwards and interestingly... she had noticed exactly the same thing.
We're going out tomorrow with two other people, so I'm now slightly dreading him doing something similarly attention-seeking.
I don't actually want to have a big confrontation with him. I'm more inclined to just stop inviting him to my home and keep things to meeting socially. But I'm annoyed enough that part of me wants to tell him that I found the behaviour rude and inconsiderate.
Would this annoy you - or am I massively overreacting? Yes, I realise the leftovers/plate thing sounds ridiculously minor written down. It's more the overall pattern that is getting to me. There are many more examples - but if I were to list them all, I'd be here forever.