Bank worker has just lectured me on my spending

I think you came across a really terrible member of staff

You’re saying you also booked a weekend away

Let’s say that was five or £600

Then you could easily spend the rest.

I don’t get it really - flagging up and unusual pattern is fine, I understand the block

But telling you you’re spending irresponsibly is really something else!

i’ve got some really old experiences of this, two times the bank said to me “ you spent so much money” but my mother was visiting so it was concert tickets and meals out and stuff like that. It wasn’t a lot of money and it was over about a week I think.

That's happened to us. The dealership said it happens when you buy a car outright rather than on a lease.

What were the actual words they used? I think there's a difference between commenting that the spending is unusual or beyond typical spending (for you, which it is) and explaining that that has flagged an alert, and outright saying you are being irresponsible spending your money and shouldn't be.

I don't think that it being flagged for potential fraud is necessarily unusual, if it's not normal for you to spend on goods such as these and you suddenly were. That's exactly the kind of thing that might indicate someone else had acquired your card or card details.

And this is exactly why we must do everything possible to ensure we dont become a cashless society!!!
Ive had my banks block 3 purchases in the past 2 years and freeze all my accounts. It took nearly two days of being sat in a branch on the phone to their head office with a screaming 2mth old baby in tow for them to sort it out at one point!
I absolutely despise how they can 'control' your spending! Its my fucking money!!!!

But cashless are not most of us do our stuff Online

I’m just out of interest. What kind of amount did they block?

I think sometimes they just get overzealous with protecting people and I don’t like this new over 60s rule. Like most of us will still be working and yet the bank decides that we’re not bright enough to decide how we spend our money.

DH has to notify our bank if he has a work trip abroad and will be using his card abroad. On one occasion they blocked his card because he had used his card in a toy shop, buying gifts to take home to our kids.

Apparently, buying gifts for children is an abnormal thing for a father to do whilst on a week-long business trip.

Money laundering by moving some money out of savings and going online shopping! 🤣

£1200 is hardly a fortune. Are you sure he/she was actually telling you off or just pointing out or explaing why your card had been declined, which in itself is good because i imagine online spending in one day with lots of shops probably would raise a red flag that the card is being misused.

This is a complete tangent - but you must be a professional musician. Have you read 'An Equal Music' by Vikram Seth? I'm not a musician but your post reminded me of it.

Not huge amounts but unusual purchases in 'their' opinion!
They can literally control your spending if they want to. There are thousands of examples of people having transactions stopped or their accounts frozen for no legitimate reason

Well, sure, but it's quite important that the woman at the bank should be reminded that she really ought not to tell people they might be suspected of money-laundering. If that was what she said.

Years and years ago when i was in college i went overdrawn briefly. I was new to having a bank account and hadnt learnt to manage money properly. I went into the branch to talk to someone behind the counter and the man said the most extraordinary thing to me. He said " I'm not surprised you are overdrawn. You students are terrible. You eat off the floor dont you. " I was shocked. To this day I dont really even know what he meant. I suppose he just wanted to have a go. I switched banks !!!

Tell them to fuck right off

No reason OP should dilute what she is concerned about to highlight other people's concerns. Of course, if OP is worried about that too, that's a different matter.

That would go down very well I’m sure. Some companies have been known to end services of customers who are abusive to staff. Swearing at a worker is never appropriate, it’s immature and shows low intelligence. OP should file a complaint if she isn’t happy with what was said.

Did they actually scold you, or did they simply point out why your card was blocked and give you an explanation of what caused it, I.e. your unusual spending pattern that particular day.

The worker simply pointing out what/why the system flagged your account isn’t them scolding you, nor judging you, they were simply giving you an explanation (possibly poorly worded) as to why you card got blocked today.

did she outright just say that or did you ask her questions and she was just answering them?

Fabulous. I've often imagined about saying something similar on winning a TV game show 😄

Booking a weekend away and spending a few hundred on clothes after 6 months saving doesn't seem an unusual thing to do. Weird that this caused a block.

I've had the bank stop my card when they said I was spending an "unusual amount" - it was mid December and I was doing Christmas shopping, and only had one day to get things done.
Difference between that (which I thought was reasonable) a d the OP is that for me the bank unblocked my card after my explanation and that was that. No lecture about spending money or that I should be going to charity shops rather than the high street to buy gifts.

I had a payment stopped recently because I made x purchase in a specific location and then under an hour later tried to buy something else in a different location - they’ve obviously not heard of motorways lol
A while ago was unable to make a payment to a car dealer for a used car for DP - the annoying thing was I’d gone into the bank the day before to discuss best way to make the purchase and they said bank transfer was fine and would note on system etc etc
Thankfully car dealership were very amenable and let us drive away in a vehicle which we hadn’t paid for! Although they did have our old car as security
Finally bank blocked a large amount jewellery purchase - despite having plenty of funds
I made a complaint and was given compensation for inconvenience/embarrassment the dealer said it was very common for anything over £10k

NRTFT but 24 years ago I borrowed £50k from my dad as a bridging loan. We were buying a flat for MiL but her house sale was protracted by a woeful Estate Agent and we needed to complete on the purchase. As soon as we completed the sale, literally 3 weeks later, I tried to pay dad back. Except Barclays didn't allow it, even though we were both Barclays customers with the same sort code! They said it sounded "dodgy"! I told them to look back at my transaction history - £50k came in from dad's account, this was the repayment. They still didn't believe me. So I told them to ring the branch and speak to the long-serving and truly wonderful cashier there who knew both of us personally. The transaction went through.

I wouldn’t think it was a minor annoyance to be informed by a bank employee that I was irresponsibly spending, I need to be careful as it looks like money laundering, and I’m now a red flag to lenders! I’d be extremely worried about potential financial repercussions.

Back in the day I did a mortgage application and the broker went through my bank statements and commented on how much money I spent one month at a certain department store. I pointed out that was the month I moved into my flat and needed curtains, kitchen items, bedding etc. I thought as it was my money and I could afford it what did it matter to him? They weren’t recurring payments that would reflect my ongoing ability to pay a mortgage (and don’t even get me started that my mortgage was lower than my rent anyways).
Unless you are a vulnerable person this was definitely overstepping.

Odd, I spent £20k other day on a car and didn't get told off. Chip and pin.