Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for taking our young children home before the wedding meal?

107 replies

Emma198800 · 17/09/2026 10:38

My husbands brother is getting married on the weekend and my husband is best man. We have 2 kids 3 and 1. He and his family want the kids at the wedding and the meal and to leave in the early evening, but I have refused and said they are going getting picked up and taken home by my sister before the meal and speeches. They will be there for the wedding ceremony and photos. This has caused an argument but I just want to enjoy my day too. I feel he is only insisting on having the kids there as his family (grandparents) want them there. Although he says he just agrees with them and he also really wants them there. He has agreed and told his family they will be going early and I know he is caught in the middle. AIBU?

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 17/09/2026 10:46

Tell them you are doing because it's better for them. That its likely that the kids will make a row/mess as they are little and potentially spoil the meal

Lovernotafighter83 · 17/09/2026 10:46

It’s his wedding day and they’d love for their nieces and nephews to be a part of that day. Yes it’ll be difficult for you to manage a 1&3 year old but it’s not for long. Most people are the opposite and don’t want kids so I think it’s lovely they want it ybut be a family affair. Enjoying your day is kind of secondary to the bride and groom. Plus they would have paid for food and seating plans etc. kids love running around at weddings.

Savvysix1984 · 17/09/2026 10:45

If you have an option of having the kids minded I’d jump at it! They will have been at the wedding, those that want to see them can do so then they can go with their aunt and you can relax. I take it your Dh won’t be running after them or feeding them as he’ll be busy doing bed man duties.

MinnieMountain · 17/09/2026 10:41

Is your BIL going to pay for a nanny to look after them during the meal? If not, he can get stuffed.

Iocanepowder · 17/09/2026 10:41

I would say YANBU at all.

No way would my kids sit through a long meal and speeches.

Also I have been to 2 weddings where the speeches were ruined by little kids screaming and running about.

concertinacornflake · 17/09/2026 10:41

It's his side of the family, so his call. It's not exactly a regular event.

Leopardspota · 17/09/2026 10:40

normally id say ‘tell them they must look after the kids’. But you know they wouldn’t and you’d not be able to make a fuss. Send them home! Kids that age are so difficult in restaurants, let alone at a weddin!

Swipe left for the next trending thread