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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this to the nursery manager?

8 replies

wiredandtired · 17/09/2026 10:08

My 1 year old son attends a nursery just over the road from my house. I can actually see in the window of the nursery from the front windows of my house. I don't sit there watching or anything, but it is right there.

I've never had any problem with them at all, so far they have generally been wonderful, really lovely and communicative, but of course I only ever see them when I drop off/ collect my son, and I haven't met all of the staff.

My son isn't there today but as I was cleaning in my bedroom this morning I glanced over and I noticed that a child, around 1 year old, kept crawling up to a member of staff who was trying to clean the floor. She lifted him up fast by only his arm and sort of dropped him on the floor away from her.

He came back again and she picked him up quite forcefully and plonked him down on the other side of the room, then another member of staff came and got him. I think he was crying but it was hard to see detail.

I feel really uncomfortable now about that kind of treatment happening to my son, I get that it's full on working in a baby room at a nursery but is that kind of thing normal?

It doesn't help that I can see in the window I suppose, so I can see what goes on when parents aren't around. I know that no nursery is perfect but it just didn't sit well with me the way she lifted him, especially by only his hand.

I'm really not sure whether to report it / complain as it will be totally obvious it's come from me (they know I live over the road).

AIBU to tell the manager? What would you do?

OP posts:
CitrusBlossom · 17/09/2026 10:13

I would tell them. For me, it would be the fact you don’t want your child treated like this. There’s no need to pick them up in such a way.

SeptemberRains · 17/09/2026 10:14

I would tell them.

wiredandtired · 17/09/2026 10:15

Thank you @CitrusBlossom @SeptemberRains I think you're right.

Not sure whether to email the manager or should I just mention it to his key worker?

Would they actually do anything about it though?

I feel like they will think I'm sat there staring at them all day from my window.

OP posts:
Nofeckingway · 17/09/2026 10:17

Oh I would hate to see this . I remember doing this in a hurry as my DD was about to touch broken glass . And while it didn't hurt her it felt terribly abusive . I was so upset . I think I would have to say something to nursery manager . Imagine if you saw that being done to your baby .

Worriedmummy1244 · 17/09/2026 10:21

My concern about raising this would be nothing is likely to happen other than them putting curtains up so that you can’t see.

I would be inclined to keep a very close eye and see if there is a pattern. Write things down and timings and then go in.

it sounds awful but you could have the opportunity to gather more evidence to really stop this behaviour in the future

Passaggressfedup · 17/09/2026 10:27

Picking up a child by one arm only is a safeguarding concern. It could dislodge the shoulder or wrist joint.

I wouldn't just tell the manager but make a referral to children services. It's outrageous behaviour!

TicklishSheep · 17/09/2026 10:31

Absolutely you must tell them. Imagine if it was your child. Email the manager so there’s a written record

wiredandtired · 17/09/2026 15:02

Worriedmummy1244 · 17/09/2026 10:21

My concern about raising this would be nothing is likely to happen other than them putting curtains up so that you can’t see.

I would be inclined to keep a very close eye and see if there is a pattern. Write things down and timings and then go in.

it sounds awful but you could have the opportunity to gather more evidence to really stop this behaviour in the future

This is the problem. I don't know if there's a lot of point because what will it achieve other than a) a negative opinion of me from the staff, as they'll think I'm spying on them, and b) they will just close the curtains more so I can't see in.

I am sure the manager would be unhappy to hear it (she always seems so caring and lovely) but really, is this just something that happens in nurseries when they think no one is watching? 😢

I think I will note it down and keep an eye.

The nursery always seem so warm and welcoming, hence why I chose it. They have a good ofsted rating and it's especially noted how much the children feel cared for and sense of belonging, will go to staff for cuddles etc, so I was quite surprised to see this happen :(

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