Being offended by being left on read after sex

Sorry but some massive red flags here- from you. You’re obviously getting attached to this person because you’re completely over-thinking this. The taking you to medical appointment thing and DIY is also odd- it’s like you’re on the immediate hunt for a new husband stand-in. And personally I think your replies to him were a bit OTT for a casual thing.

Forget about this arrangement for a while- you are both going through a divorce and you sound like you are in no place to have any relationship- casual or not. Focus on yourself, self-care and self-sufficiency, family and non-sex friends until you have got your boundaries sorted and can work out what you want from a new romantic partner. So many people go from
a divorce straight into a toxic relationship because their self-esteem on the floor. Don’t join them.

You're sending soppy messages to him as if you're falling in love.

He literally just wants sex. Not cuddles, not emotion. You've scared him off.

I'd never dream of sending an FWB a message like that. Only that the sex was hot and let's do it again sometime. I'd be icked if my no strings sex pal sent me such things too. It's way too lovely dovey.

When was this? Has he responded since? The text was over the top for someone who said you don’t want a relationship, night time cuddles are more intimate than a FWB situation.
Are you sure you’re looking for the occasional hook up as you are obsessing over his behaviour already.
I think you should stay single for a while it is a jungle out there.

While I understand the disappointment and the hollow sinking feeling you must've felt he is probably signaling here that this is as close as he would like to get at the moment. Reasonable given you're both still divorcing. I would let it go, I dont think this is the last chapter in this story, unless you want it to be.

This. The message sounded like you've read way too much into it, and you've scared him off

Same! I’m so glad no one was left on the road. Now I can get on with my day.

I totally agree with this

That was my first thought too. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship and you’ve just said ‘me too’. But then sent a mushy message which to me would indicate you want more. It’s very common in this situation for one person to claim ‘they don’t want a relationship’ because the other person has said that first whilst secretly hoping they’ll change their mind. You may have to address this with him, verbally, not via text, and say what you’ve said in your OP if that’s genuinely the truth. Unfortunately I think not, which is not a criticism, but that he’s just not for you.

I think you're overreacting.

I assumed he'd not sent you any messages at all from the tone of your post.

You said it was good.

He said it was good.

Then your last message was about the bed smelling of him and you want a big cuddle. That's a message that doesn't need a reply. You've not asked a question, you've not changed the topic, you've not suggested going somewhere. He could well have read the message, fallen asleep then not messaged in the morning because it's not a message that needs a reply.

God no. It’s not 1982. The only person I phone is my parent in their 80’s 🤣

You and the guy agreed it was just about shagging.

You then sent an ultra-clingy message after the first time you shagged.

If I were him I would be running a fucking mile.

He said he didn’t want a relationship. Then you’re sending messages with heart emojis and asking for cuddles (which is what a partner is for, not a FWB)

No wonder he’s pulled right back. I’d be thinking you were after more of a relationship than you said too!

I don’t think you can be offended when you’ve pushed the boundaries of what you said you wanted from this and he’s going nope!

I told him that the bed smells of him and put a little heart emoji and I said I wished I could have a big cuddle.
Oh no, you didn't. Sorry, but this is really, really cringe. Especially when you're just fuck buddies. This is cringe even in relationship territory, but it's even more so in fuck buddy contexts. You shouldn't have texted him this.

He saw it and left it on read. No reply at all.
I wouldn't have replied, either. It's cringey, weird and I don't know what to respond to this type of strange comment.

Am I being unreasonable expecting a reply to this?
Yes. You're fuck buddies, and your text didn't contain anything that has an obvious reply to it. Again, especially through a fuck buddy lense.

He is acting like it was never said.
Probably because he wish you'd never said it. It was out of order. You're fuck buddies, nothing more.

For context, before he left, he gave me a massive squeeze in my hall, for a good few minutes. I was actually taken aback by how affectionate he was the entire time he was here.
Your bar for "affection" is low. I give my good colleagues a big squeeze, doesn't mean I want them to tell me their clothes smell of me. You're fuck buddies, and supposedly also had a friendship to start with, so there's obviously going to be some basic level of affection. But you're reading too much into his "affection".

Now it feels like it's gone to shit so I've withdrawn.
Good.

...I've messaged him again
So much for withdrawing. Stop messaging this guy!

...cancelling plans to go out
You didn't need to do this. His silence was cancellation in and of itself. You made a fool of yourself by texting him again.

Are you sure you're build for fuck buddy relations? It doesn't sound like it.

It obviously got too close to relationship-type intimacy for him.

He either doesn't have any feelings for you, is falling in love, or is determined he will not fall in love.

I would do as you are and just leave it for now.

If you didn’t scare him off with the “My bed smells like you ❤️” message, the cancelling plans/“I don’t feel like chatting 😤” tantrum probably would do it.

Exactly. Not messaging at all after sex would be one thing, but I think you are overreacting tbh. It's understanable you feel sensitive in your first encounter since marriage but I would advise chilling out a bit.

Well considering neither of you want a relationship, you sound like quite hard work tbh.
He could have fallen asleep.
He maybe didn’t know what to reply.

For someone that doesn’t want a relationship you are sure acting like you want a relationship. He is too though with biting you stuff and doing jobs around your house that have cost him money (that’s not ok btw, you should be putting your hand in your pocket). So leave aside the tween ‘left on read’ angst, because that’s not an indicator of anything, you really do need to have a chat with him because you are both acting like you are properly dating but saying you are not wanting to be. That's a really important chat right now.

FFS. Did you just get out of an Andrew Tate seminar? A woman’s ‘value’ and ‘worth’ is not tied to her sexual choices. This sort of misogynistic, antediluvian bullshit can get in the fucking bin.

Granted, a FWB situation is not for everyone, but please don’t conflate another adult’s personal choices with a patriarchal construct that assigns a purity value to women’s vaginas.

Just phone people up if you want to tell them something and want a reply.

Read and not replied to, I think.

You're the one coming on too strong, he's done nothing wrong. What do you expect from a FWB? You should be apologising to him. Oh dear.

Sorry if I sound like a dinosaur but does ‘on read’ mean the same as ‘unread’ or that it was read and not replied to?

I imagine he just thought your message was nice but didn’t know how to respond without getting too lovey-dovey. Probs thought it would be fine as you had plans to get together again very soon, so it’s hardly a ghosting.