Background: I’m a single mum on holiday with my parents and 2 year old, a one hour flight away from where we live (not in the UK). My relationship with my mother has deteriorated steadily in recent years, especially since I became a mum. I see how toxic her behaviour to me and my brother really was (brother is now no contact with her) but she sits there and criticises my parenting. This morning at breakfast buffet DD dropped her croissant on the floor. I picked it up and told her I’ll get her a new one, go sit with grandparents. She’s 2 so she had a mini meltdown because she wanted to carry the croissant herself. My mother tells me I shamed DD, not realising the irony in saying that statement to her own daughter!
I could go on but it’s been a lifetime of her criticising me, not taking accountability and every time I stick up for myself she compares me to her abusive older sister. I’m so over this. I’m a worse person when she’s around.
I’ve booked a flight home for me and DD this morning leaving in a few hours. Currently sitting in our adjoining hotel room waiting until it’s late enough for me to leave for the airport with DD and not hang around there too long.
I am in my late 30s and feel sick inside at the thought of “defying” my mother. But I’m also sick of her and I’m a worse person when I’m around her.
I don’t know what I’m seeking here, I’m not a dramatic person, I have never “defied” my mother before but AIBU for deciding I’m an adult with free will, mother to my own child and I can make decisions that upset my mother? She’s done a real number on me.