AIBU to refuse family use of our home for holidays?

Dear family,
I am sure many of you are sad at the sale of the holiday home that (parents names) and (your names) owned for so many years. It just got to be too much of an expense for us and all good things must come to an end.

Also, we will not be offering our home as an alternative holiday home to anyone, at any time. It is our everyday home and not open for use for free vacation stays while we are gone.

When we are home and it is convenient for us, we will happily host for a night or two, but please remember, it's not a holiday home. That house has been sold, so I guess all of us will need to fund our own accommodations during holidays.

Our love to you all,
Jane and Michael Banks

Advise them to look at renting a holiday cottage, or tell them if they were to stay in your home the cost would be.... to cover utilities, cleaning after etc. This will put them off. Make sure its above the going rate. Then point out you may occassion have them for a weekend for example but that you would not be facilitating long stays and if they were staying more than for example 3 nights you would be charging them for additional time. Point out that whilst the holiday home they used before was free to them because of in-laws, you very much had to pay for them being there due to the bills it generated and will no longer be footing the bill of free vacations.

Advise them to look at renting a holiday cottage, or tell them if they were to stay in your home the cost would be.... to cover utilities, cleaning after etc. This will put them off. Make sure its above the going rate. Then point out you may occassion have them for a weekend for example but that you would not be facilitating long stays and if they were staying more than for example 3 nights you would be charging them for additional time. Point out that whilst the holiday home they used before was free to them because of in-laws, you very much had to pay for them being there due to the bills it generated and will no longer be footing the bill of free vacations.

I'd reply with a laughing emoji and a quip about opening a hotel.

Ask for something back 'You've reminded me, X's friend is coming to the UK for a few weeks and wants to be in your city, would it be possible to put him up'? That always sets people running as takers often don't like to give.

They live over an hours drive away and we live in a popular tourist town (near to lots of other tourist towns) so if they were here they would be doing holiday stuff and visiting places they wouldn't normally go to, different walks, parks, cafes etc and we're near to a beach and they are not.

All previous school holidays they have used the holiday house, so that's kept their DC entertained. This is the first school holidays where they haven't had free accommodation, so she's obviously as a loss now. She could always book and pay for accommodation, like most other people have to do.

I agree, its definitely a no forever!

Cheeky entitled lazy arse holes. It's our home, not a holiday let which incidentally wouldn't it have been great if you actually acknowledged all the free holidays you've had. Grateful, paid for? Cleaned up, bought a nice thank you? Anything else?

I like how your husband has slyly brought in the fact that your side of family come and stay with you all as a reason why you should allow your home to become his family’s new free holiday home when his siiblings had used your holiday home as though it was theirs, left it dirty for you to clean up and sometimes never asked. The bil even expected you to find other accommodation when you went there once as he was using it!
I wouldn’t worry about falling out with them and just tell them straight, no our home is not a holiday let, tell your husband that under no circumstances will you allow that to happen! If he feels that guilty maybe he should pay for his siblings holidays himself if it eases his guilt, that will soon snap him out of any lingering guilt!

Thanks for all of your comments and advice. I wasn't sure if I was being mean saying no, but it seems I'm not being unreasonable.

I agree I do have DH problem, I think he feels guilty that 'their' holiday home is gone and is trying to compensate, as a poster suggested.

I won't be allowing them to use the house, but probably will make an excuse as to why, even though I'd love to tell them they are CFs, I don't want to fall out with them.

I'm really cross about this and don't know if I'm being unreasonable. Please help me mumsnetters. I have name changed in case this is outing. Sorry, it is long, so as to avoid a drip feed.

Back story, until very recently we owned a holiday house (just sold it this month). Half of the house belonged to me and DH and the other half was owned by DH parents. We bought our half off another relative and have owned our half for a long time, approximately 20 years.

The house is in a holiday location and has been used by DH siblings (and their partners and school aged children) as a holiday home for all of that time. They never offered any money for their stay. We didn't use it very often as we were not living in that country until a couple of years ago.

Unfortunately it appears that DH siblings viewed the house as something they were entitled to use, rather than a privilege. Obviously their parents also owned half of the house, which makes a difference to how they viewed it. On some occasions the house was left dirty after the siblings had used it and when we arrived to use it we had to clean it. They have also used it without asking, as they all have a key.

We now live in a different holiday location, about 3 hours drive away from the house, so don't need to go there for holidays anymore. But more importantly we have never rented the house, so we didn't ever benefit financially, but it cost us money in terms of maintenance. This is the reason for wanting to sell.

DH siblings have had many years of free holidays, at our expense, mainly during school holidays, when accommodation is expensive. Sadly for them with the sale of the house this has now come to an end.

There is a school holiday coming up here very soon. We as a family (me, DH and our DCs) are going overseas for the holidays, meaning our main house (our permanent family home) will be empty. One of DH siblings, who would usually go to the holiday home, has messaged him to say she doesn't know how she's going to entertain her DCs over the holiday and asking if our house is on offer to them.

I am really annoyed about this. It feels like after years and years of having free holidays in the holiday house at our expense, they now want to use our own home as an alternative.

I don't want them to use it. I don't want the stress of having to get our house ready for guests when we we're already preparing for our own trip. I dont like the idea of other people using our home when were not there. But also I think this is really cheeky and they seem to expect us to still be responsible for providing them with a free holiday.

I think allowing them to use our own house now is effectively sending the message to them that this is now their holiday home, as a replacement and sets a precedent that whenever we are away they can use it. AIBU to not want them to use it?

DH does sort of agree with me on this, however instead wants to tell them they can come to ours when we are there for a 'beach holiday'. Whilst I don't have a problem with then coming to stay for a couple of days when we're here, I don't think he should be starting to offer them 'beach holidays ' in our house at this point, being so close to the sale of the holiday house, as in my opinion it's still giving them the impression that we're responsible for providing them with holidays.

Any advice welcome. Thanks for reading!