Page 4 | Worry about DD at uni who just called

Raisingresiliantteens · 2026-09-16T22:38:22+00:00

DD just started uni at Bristol. She just called but I only heard a noise and that was it. I am worried. Calling back but not answering

AmnesiacsDream · 17/09/2026 08:14

BerryTwister · 17/09/2026 00:09

@bunnypenny OP’s daughter is living away for the first time. Naturally OP is concerned. And pastoral support is part of what we pay universities over £9k per year to provide.

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No it isn't.

They provide pastoral support in the sense of placating over anxious parents because it's cheaper and gives the uni better outcomes than putting up with parents driving up or otherwise disrupting things. But universities are constantly saying how pissed off they are with helicopter parents stopping students from gaining the skills and independence that university life used to provide.

In this sense pastoral support is only what you pay for in the same way you pay for security to stop idiots from causing disruption.

Gloriia · 17/09/2026 07:42

CatkinToadflax · 17/09/2026 07:39

There are some horrible comments on this thread. I’m glad your DD is safe OP. My son is in his first week at uni and I’d be just as worried.

Yep. We've surely all had that awful moment when you can't help thinking hang on that's odd.
So sad for their dc that some would apparently just shrug their shoulders and go to sleep and think ah whatever.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 17/09/2026 07:41

ItsAlwaysTwins · 17/09/2026 07:31

Glad she’s ok, OP.

As someone who goes from zero to ‘they’ve been murdered’ in about 2 minutes, I get the worry.

Ditto! I really feel for you @Raisingresiliantteens, I'm glad she was out enjoying herself. I was at Bristol myself, and I remember "Faffers' Week", as it was called then, was a non-stop round of activities. If mobile phones had been available then, my own mother would have been lighting mine up at all hours! As it was, we had to make do with a communal phone on the hall of residence corridor

OhHobnobs · 17/09/2026 07:41

Raisingresiliantteens · 17/09/2026 04:22

I went to sleep. Just woke up to check. She finally replied at 2am to my message that it was an error/pocket call,

Thanks everyone. I need to control my paranoid mind. Didn’t call university thanks GOD, DH is more reasonable and less paranoid and said she was fine and went to sleep

back to bed now.

Edited

Phew! Hope you can enjoy a lay in peacefully to catch up on lost sleep!

CatkinToadflax · 17/09/2026 07:39

There are some horrible comments on this thread. I’m glad your DD is safe OP. My son is in his first week at uni and I’d be just as worried.

bunnypenny · 17/09/2026 07:38

Enko · 17/09/2026 00:02

I disagree with this. I have now had 4 through uni and this experience would have unsettled me.

I see nothing wrong with op calling the university and as they adviced her to call back in 1 hour if still nothing further neither did they.

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Oh dear.

Gloriia · 17/09/2026 07:38

Glad all is ok op. If it's any reassurance I don't think you're paranoid or anxious. You weren't checking on her she seemed to ring you. Years ago pocket dials were common but everyone has lock screens nowadays so not so much.

If one of our dc rang, didn't leave a message then phone was 'unavailable' I'd think wtf too.

Wearedoomed · 17/09/2026 07:37

So glad she’s ok. My oldest went this last weekend and I’d have been fretting too. As some other peeps have observed, there are some truly callous arseholes on Mumsnet, though they are thankfully in the minority!

ItsAlwaysTwins · 17/09/2026 07:31

Glad she’s ok, OP.

As someone who goes from zero to ‘they’ve been murdered’ in about 2 minutes, I get the worry.

MabelAnderson · 17/09/2026 07:27

Glad all is ok. I would also have been worried. As a pp said, whose daughter is 51, we never stop being mothers, caring and worrying about our children. 19 is so young, and however capable someone is, sometimes things do go wrong on evenings out and our dc need help.
It’s good to know that you can always call home.

Poppinpoppinpopcorn · 17/09/2026 07:11

bunnypenny · 16/09/2026 23:58

Yes but what are you anxious about. It’s a pocket dial. Have you never had one before?

I can’t believe you called the university after a pocket dial. How embarrassing for you. Whatever you do, don’t let your daughter you did that.

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You are disgusting. OP I get it. Your child is away for the first time, I would worried to. You did nothing wrong.

Enko · 17/09/2026 07:08

I am pleased she is OK and it was a pocket dial.

You sound like a carring mum and there is nothing wrong with that. (And a whole lot of great in jt)

HoraceCope · 17/09/2026 06:52

i agree, the mobiles make it worse

WarriorN · 17/09/2026 06:46

Same!

Baldrapunzel · 17/09/2026 06:46

Everyone having mobiles and in theory being contactable 24/7 adds a whole new level of (usually unnecessary but still concerning) worry when you can't get hold of people.

Fondly remember the queue at uni halls pay phone and the weekly 5 minute call home.

Podgedodge · 17/09/2026 06:35

Oh , I well remember the first days off to Uni feeling.
I wouldn’t say it passes, but it definitely eases and your mind gets less inclined to jump to worst case scenarios.
As other pps have said, the trick is not to let them know just how much you are worried. And to remember, the mundane answer, ( bum dial, no signal, out of credit) are probably the most likely.
Hope you got at least some decent sleep!

ym56 · 17/09/2026 06:30

Im so glad shes ok! I would have absolutely spiralled and I am usually quite a reasonable person!

Some people on this app are dicks, imagine laying into a worried mum, calling her a liar. I cannot understand. Do better.

BugJuice · 17/09/2026 06:09

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FFS, she clearly meant that she didn’t call them back after an hour to do a welfare check, which she’d mentioned in a previous post.

Yiayoula · 17/09/2026 06:07

ExplodingSmittens · 17/09/2026 06:00

So glad it was just a pocket dial. I would have been worried too

Glad she’s safe and well , OP.

We never stop being Mums - our DD is 51 now , and I’d have been concerned if I’d had a phone call like you described.
Hope you can sleep in a bit this morning …. !

Original poster

Raisingresiliantteens · 17/09/2026 06:05

shrunkenhead · 17/09/2026 05:36

I'm guessing because the OP was worried about her dd, wasn't sure what to do, felt a bit helpless and panicky and was seeking support, understanding and reassurance from fellow mothers.

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Exactly ❤️

OP posts:

ExplodingSmittens · 17/09/2026 06:00

So glad it was just a pocket dial. I would have been worried too

Original poster

Raisingresiliantteens · 17/09/2026 05:58

Anon501178 · 17/09/2026 05:56

So glad she is ok! But the post about the person who tried to call and was having a fit shows you can never be too careful.

Your her mum, and whilst grown, she is still the same child you checked in on every night to make sure she was ok as little girl, and I expect that habit is hard to break.
It's not quite the same for dads.
So don't feel bad.Sounds like you care deeply for her, and that loving protectiveness doesn't just switch off because she is older now.

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Thank you ❤️

OP posts:

Original poster

Raisingresiliantteens · 17/09/2026 05:57

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I meant I didn’t call back after an hour, didn’t provide DD name or asked them to do a welfare check.

OP posts:

Anon501178 · 17/09/2026 05:56

Raisingresiliantteens · 17/09/2026 04:22

I went to sleep. Just woke up to check. She finally replied at 2am to my message that it was an error/pocket call,

Thanks everyone. I need to control my paranoid mind. Didn’t call university thanks GOD, DH is more reasonable and less paranoid and said she was fine and went to sleep

back to bed now.

Edited

So glad she is ok! But the post about the person who tried to call and was having a fit shows you can never be too careful.

Your her mum, and whilst grown, she is still the same child you checked in on every night to make sure she was ok as little girl, and I expect that habit is hard to break.
It's not quite the same for dads.
So don't feel bad.Sounds like you care deeply for her, and that loving protectiveness doesn't just switch off because she is older now.

DooDallyHallie · 17/09/2026 05:49

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