ExH I have been split for 6.5 years now. 2 kids (15 and 11). See dad one night a week and EOW, always been this way. A few times over the years the kids have asked for more time with him, he has always said no. A few years ago he asked to reduce contact as his GF didnt like them being there. I was happy to have them more but said he had to actually be honest as to why as I have always covered for him and I had had enough. He didnt change custody at that stage but did spend one night of his weekend with the kids "connecting" with said GF which meant them going upstairs early evening and kids being told to do their own thing and not disturb them.
Fast forward to now and him and GF have split up. He has their shared child (toddler) 50/50. When my kids are there they do a lot of looking after their sibling and occupying him. My youngest has come home in tears at how tired she is as she has spent her weekends looking after her sibling.
When the kids are meant to be with him, they are still here a lot of the time. Eldest doesn't like going so comes back a lot. Youngest pops by most days. They come to eat (he doesn't feed them well) And also get clothes and toiletries too as dad doesn't provide.
Anyway he has told me he can't afford maintenance anymore as his bills are too high (he earns into 6 figures for context) and he wants 50/50. I genuinely dont feel this in the kids' best interests but appreciate i may not get a choice. He said he has missed time with them these past few years so not just money related.
My question is, if we do switch to 50/50 what do I do about the fact the kids will still blatantly be here most of the time?! I do everything for them: dr, dentist, time off work when they're sick, lifts to clubs, parent's evenings. He does none of the actual parenting. I obviously want my kids here and dont want to turn them away but also dont want dad saying he is 50/50 without him actually doing that or fulfilling his 50% of parenting responsibilities.