My husband had some medical treatment which at that time, the doctor said would make most people infertile, we stopped contraception but two years later, I unexpectedly found I’m pregnant. We already have two primary school aged children. I really don’t know if I should carry on with the pregnancy or give it up.
Financially, we are in the process of moving houses. We will spend next three years building our dream house, so the cash flow will be tight for the next couple of years. We will ultimately have enough bedrooms but not for two/three years. We have big enough cars. Both our children go to private school, but we don’t think we can afford the third child’s school fees. DH suggested taking children out of private school and send all three to state school if we have the third baby, I feel very reluctant about that.
Travel is another thing. We go travel a lot, normally a luxury holiday every year and then several package holidays. Annual travel cost is about 40k to 50k. As a lot of hotel rooms don’t accommodate 2 adults 3 children, having a third baby means booking an extra room or suite. The travel cost will at be doubled, we will need to either book cheaper holidays or have less holidays.
We have almost zero family help. So previously we paid for nannies and babysitters to go through the difficult baby times. With a new baby, we will need some form of paid help to start with, but my main worry is once baby turn two and has his/her own needs, we just won’t have enough helping hands to sort out all the logistics.
We do spend a lot of time with our children. One of them needs some extra support. At the moment we can still handle all the bills from doctor appointments and therapy sessions. NHS waiting time is like one year and they won’t provide therapies to kids who go to independent school. So we have to pick up expensive bills. At home support is also very important apart from specialist therapies. So I also worry with a new baby we won’t have enough time and energy for my current children. Or even worse, what if the new baby also had special needs?
So sensibly we feel our current family is complete. The children live a happy and luxury life. Having another sibling might mean less going out, less holidays, less attention from parents or even changing schools for them. But termination is also the most difficult decision that a woman could ever make.