AIBU to feel unsure about continuing an unexpected third pregnancy?

Honestly it should be, providing a safe and secure home for children is very important and in our society that includes money. Unfortunately in this country too many people are popping out kids left right and centre with no money.

No it’s not. A woman (in the UK) can terminate for any reason at all, just not wanting a baby is absolutely fine as a reason. It’s her body.

We need to preserve our rights to bodily autonomy in the face of increasingly more repressive thinking coming from the far right, manosphere, “religious” (but not really, just for control) misogynistic men.

Your priority is obviously money first and foremost.

OP.

I think the mistake here is trying to justify a decision. Other people would take your reasons and come to different conclusions. Because they're not you.

As others have said, you don't have to continue a pregnancy you don't want to continue. You don't need other people to agree with your decision making - they have no skin in the game.

I love having 3 dc and wouldn't dream of private schools for mine. Irrelevant!

(This sounds like a real issue that needs to be sorted. If my child was behaving like this I wouldn't be worrying how to keep them in the lifestyle they desired but how to ensure they understood how lucky they were and that such things are not to be taken for granted!)

I firmly believe you should have access to an abortion as when you want and need one. The decision is yours.

FWIW, I have 3 dc and they have a brilliant time. They have travelled plenty and done loads of clubs and activities. We do not have anything like your finances. I am one of 3 and love having my siblings. It has never occurred to anyone in those triplets that the third means they get less money spent on them - why would it? You could equally argue that your first could feel like that about your second?

The comment about maybe not fly business class was unnecessary

There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting the lifestyle you’ve worked and planned for, and nothing wrong with terminating in order to maintain it. Having an abortion isn’t something you need to justify - if you don’t want a third child, you don’t have to have a third child. So what if there will be some that don’t like your choice? You don’t need them to.

You made a mistake with contraception, but that doesn’t mean you have to remain pregnant as some form of perverse punishment. For what it’s worth, abortion really doesn’t have to be this major, deeply traumatic event in your life. For a lot of us it isn’t that at all.

She asked for advice and opinions, I’ve offered mine.

It differs from yours.

Both ways could be regretful and catastrophic for different reasons but there’s no reason at all to jump down my throat aggressively because we have different opinions about what OP should do when she canvassed views in the first place!

But it's NOT YOU that is unexpectedly pregnant.

And if the OP continues with the pregnancy and has a baby that can't be undone either

Imagine if she felt pressured into having this baby and it tuned out to have major disabilities that shatter the whole family dynamics, including financially.

I'm pretty sure she would regret that to

I’m a nasty piece of work because I think that sacrificing business class travel for my annual luxury holiday would be worth it for another baby?

I am pro abortion, I just worry that once it’s done it can’t be undone and the reasons in favour of an abortion in OP’s case seem to be fear of change of luxury lifestyle which, whilst totally valid, are more likely to lead to regret in my view than were she saying we would not be able to afford to house and feed another child etc.

Ultimately although I agree that any woman can terminate any pregnancy for any reason, I want to make sure this OP can live with her decision

I mean - the point you stopped using contraception was surely the point that you accepted the arrival of the third child, surely? Because obviously no one sensible hears “would make most people infertile” and then merrily bins the contraception without first checking whether they’ve fallen into the “most” category 🤦🏻‍♀️ Unless they actually want a third child.

ETA - I’m trying really hard to ignore the embarrassing amount spent on holidays and the inability to parent without paid help…

You really are a nasty piece of work

When we go on the luxury holiday, we normally stay in one bedroom villa, there’s plenty space, although kids didn’t have their own bedrooms, they are quite separate from us. Bringing third child means upgrade to the two bedroom villa

That’s not the case though, unless you always go to a very specific place. Ikos, for example, their one bedroom villas sleep 5 so the room cost is almost the same. In fact, this is the case for almost all the rooms with separate living rooms at high end hotels. I know this because we also like our holidays and it was a factor when we were weighing up if we’d have a third.

You have a wildly wrong view of state schools!!

😂😂😂👏🏼 love it

Of what? Clearly not medicine.

Maybe she doesn't want to

What's the matter with people on here? Thought all these so called " educated" women wouldn't be calling nanes at people as they are thinking of terminating an unexpected pregnancy. And all this shite about a " miracle child" FFS

I don't think anyone can make a decision like this for you.

I can't validate your decision or your reasons because that just can't be done by anyone else.

On a personal level, I would not consider luxury holidays important but I'm not you and don't know what it means to you. Again on a personal level, I would think carefully about the reality of having another child with additional needs and how everyone's needs will be meet in the event that the condition affecting one of the children is hereditary.

At the end of the day, you have to be happy with the decision.

Not a child. A Zygote.

Why are you pretending to be something you're not?

Fuck all.

It’s dreadful to think that someone would terminate a child just because it might interfere with their numerous £50000 holidays and private school fees.
it’s just astounding!!