Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop mediation and apply to court over incomplete disclosure

10 replies

SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 16:52

Going through divorce. Have conditional order and trying to do mediation. Had one to one session, then a joint one, then spent 2 months waiting for him to submit his financial disclosure and documents. So, I finally have his "disclosure". Missing CETVs, different figures on the form to documents submitted, missing pensions, missing bank accounts, no sign of any household expenses on bank statements, no credit card or universal credit statements. Mediator seems to think we can still have another mediation session once he's deigned to tell her his availability. To be honest I'm thinking there's no point. What does everyone else think? Should I head straight to court or be patient?

YABU you should wait
YANBU file for court.

TIA

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 22:11

SoVeryVeryBored · 16/09/2026 21:55

Plus, and most importantly, you can’t trust him to be honest so how can you mediate? I’d crack on with court @SoonToBePinocchiosExWife

I'm thinking this is wise.

OP posts:
SoVeryVeryBored · 16/09/2026 21:55

SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 19:13

Yes, the last date to apply for the final order is February, and I'm worried that court will take a long time. Can't afford to pay again, and I'm pretty sure I'm eligible for legal aid. Stbxh uses stuff like this to get to me. He made me wait a year so he could see if he wanted to work on our marriage 😂 and has form for drawing stuff out over long long time frames. Fed up of him trying to control me, and just want him gone from my life! Thank you for replying 💐

Plus, and most importantly, you can’t trust him to be honest so how can you mediate? I’d crack on with court @SoonToBePinocchiosExWife

Rollercoasteryears · 16/09/2026 21:32

Hello, family lawyer here. You’ll need your mediator to sign to say the mediation has broken down, in order to apply to court. If they think another session is worth a try, that might be difficult. I’d suggest writing to your nearly exH and saying you want to sort this out in mediation, but you need to see progress and you want him to book the next session by x date and ensure he provides all missing financial disclosure or you’ll be left with no choice but to ask the court to help. Court isn’t a quick fix (fully contested proceedings could take over a year) and you’d want to be very sure you can either get legal aid, pay a solicitor or be happy to represent yourself before starting them, so I think it’s worth one final shot at mediation (warning him re deadlines as above) first… Good luck!

Oopstheregoesanotherhouseplant · 16/09/2026 21:21

Similar situation OP.

I am giving him one last chance before I put in a court application. Going to do the two in parallel - get everything ready to apply to court if it fails again.

Going through courts is likely to cost £40,000 ish which is money that could be used elsewhere (and I don’t have!).

Men are twats.

Shoobadadoo · 16/09/2026 21:16

The other thing I can think is that I heard somewhere if you go to all your mediation sessions it shows your willing and wanted to be cooperative. Refusing to do any can come across as a bit obstinate (even if this isn’t the case) and awkward and difficult. If you do them all you can look squeaky clean. I might be wrong though

Forthetrees · 16/09/2026 21:14

Final order date can be extended without cost. Legal aid criteria are very tight. Do you have a solicitor? Ask for advice. At some point you will be free! Good luck...

SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 19:13

Forthetrees · 16/09/2026 18:35

Wait. Otherwise you'll be spending £££... Any reason you need it done ASAP?

Yes, the last date to apply for the final order is February, and I'm worried that court will take a long time. Can't afford to pay again, and I'm pretty sure I'm eligible for legal aid. Stbxh uses stuff like this to get to me. He made me wait a year so he could see if he wanted to work on our marriage 😂 and has form for drawing stuff out over long long time frames. Fed up of him trying to control me, and just want him gone from my life! Thank you for replying 💐

OP posts:
Forthetrees · 16/09/2026 18:35

Wait. Otherwise you'll be spending £££... Any reason you need it done ASAP?

SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 18:33

Watching the tumbleweed blow past.... don't know where my patience has buggered off to!

OP posts:
SoonToBePinocchiosExWife · 16/09/2026 18:33

Anyone?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread