Should I have made him a drink

What does he do for you, OP?

Hmm. Does he always offer to make you whatever he is making. Does he bring you drinks if you’re not well. I guess the key is whether it’s one sided. I never offered to do anything for ex as I always felt like he was trying to ‘win’ all
the time. It’s exhausting and you end up resenting them.
Completely different with my husband. We will shout up the stairs and ask if they want anything. But there is no ‘winning’. We’re a partnership and he pulls his weight and is emotionally mature.
If he does always ask you if you want something then you should reciprocate. If you don’t want to then maybe explore why you feel that way.

(I used to hate making tea at work for this reason! A 2 min job turns in to a mission!)
Though My guess is he’s just being a petty child.

Pouring a soda into a glass is not "making a drink" - you literally just opened a can or a bottle and poured the content into a glass. If you'd gone through the trouble of boiling water for tea or coffee, warming milk for hot chocolate, or were actually mixing cocktails, I would say you were unreasonable to not make one for your husband. But since we're talking about a soda, he's got legs, he can walk to the kitchen and get one himself. How were you even supposed to know that he wanted a soda if he hadn't told you? It would be wasteful to pour him a soda only for him to say he didn't want one.

It really depends how you normally interact, for some things I might ask, 'making a coffee do you want one? But I wouldn't be searching for him to ask and I wouldn't make him one on spec assuming that he might want one. Breakfasts in our house everyone does their own thing at different times.

Tell him to lead by example

He is being absolutely ridiculous but sounds like there are probably bigger problems than this
Would never occur to me to make anyone in my family a cold drink if I was getting one (kids included - they are old enough to get their own). Hot drinks fair enough. Kettle goes on, you check if anyone wants a brew.

How often does he ask you if you want a tea, a bowl of cereal or a snack bar?

I'm guessing not very often.

Fancy even calling that ‘making a drink’!

It sounds as if this man is finding reasons to call you selfish because he doesn't like you. Not good.

Why does your husband think you are his maidservant?

Unless he has extensive physical disabilities that you haven’t yet mentioned, he ought to be capable of pouring himself a glass of coke and putting cornflakes in a bowl.

It could be either really, I suppose if you never do anything for him he could be irritated but in the same way if you normally do everything for him then he needs to be reminded actually this was ridiculous. I also agree not a hot drink so it’s not the same

Some people clearly have zero problems in life

Yanbu
Why are you with him?
Why inflict him on a child?
Time to rethink your choices.
He sounds awful.

How have you not strangled him by now. You two are not one person. How are you supposed to know that he wants a glass of coke, a cereal bar och whatever? I don't always want what other people are drinking-eating. Next time he gets anything at all for himself you need to ask why he isn't giving you one too. Then when he does, just say you don't want it.

How horrible is he likely to be about it if you include him in everything? if it were my DH, I would be taking the piss a bit, not that he would be pissy in the first place mind you.

I’m going to have a look out the window, do you want to come look as well?
I’m going to get a tampon out of the box do you want one as well?
I need to take my medication do you want some tablets as well?

On repeat for everything for a day til he gets the message

My instant response to that was “oh fuck off!” 😂 but of course I would never actually say that…
Oh, oops 😉

Life is too short to indulge nonsense like this.

He’s an adult male with (presumably) no physical disabilities, he can pour himself a glass of coke.

LTB and I’m only half joking.

Of course you're not selfish getting a glass of Coke for yourself and not for him when he's upstairs. A bit different if he's standing next to you.

But for Christ sake, you got a glass of Coke you didn't make Sunday roast for yourself and not ask him if he wanted some.

He's being utterly ridiculous & I don't imagine them for one minute that this is the only time he's being this ridiculous.

I would actually LTB the twat for behaving like this & creating such a horrible atmosphere over absolutely nothing.

what's your plan going forward? If you're not careful, he'll do such a mind job on you that you won't be the person you used to be. Not to mention how he's going to negatively affect your Daughter.

He is being absolutely ridiculous.

Congratulations! You win Mumsnet!

Tell him to fucking grow up. Actually just tell him to fuck off. Stupid little man child.

OP, you are not being unreasonable. A cup of tea or coffee maybe but a glass of coke is a bit like a glass of water. My husband and I always make our own breakfasts.
Having said that, I have never drunk a glass of coke in front of my children except in a restaurant . It is a bad habit, yes I have many bad habits, but I would be encouraging my children to have a healthy diet.

You didn't make a drink you just poured some coke out of a bottle
if you had been maki a cuppa you should have offered

I find it really weird when people want to be offered or served things in their own home.
You know where the drinks and glasses are, you can help yourself in your own home.
Fair enough if the kettle is on, you offer to make a tea/coffee for the other person. And making each other meals is nice (and normal) but to constantly have to serve a man baby a glass of coke or a cereal bar is weird. He wants a servant not a wife.

Ask him what his last slave died of.