AIBU? Kid's kicking rotting apples in a field / parent had a right go

What are teen boys allowed to do? Yes, by their very nature they are bigger and louder and more physical than small kids or elderly people or women etc. But does that mean they need to disappear? Or have no outlet for their physicality? They cause absolutely no trouble when they're on tiktok. No wonder we hand out phones and social media to our young people -- it gets rid of their irritating size and physicality as they sit silently hunched somewhere.

Obviously they need teaching that they are louder/stronger than they were when they were 8 so they need more space, to be more aware of their surroundings/the noise they're making. And id stop our boys if they were near a path or a picnic table or making too much noise etc etc.

But this idea that you reach 12 and suddenly have to no right to be present in a public place, or to play is absolutely the reason we are in the middle of a mental health crisis. A 15 year old in many ways is just a child -- ours loves making dams on the beach and finding ways to cross rivers and playing football with non football objects and challenging himself and his younger brother physically. I'm sure when he's out alone he's occasionally a pain because he's 15 and still learning but generally he's a high achieving, emotionally secure, polite cheerful boy.

Of course you should have stopped them, fallen apples and stomped apples are two different things. Fallen apples tend to fall asleep a whole Apple without breaking into pieces. A stomped apples is smashed up when people then end up walking in, slipping on.
You should teach your kids to be respectful in public areas

Initially I thought your boys were small children U10 but discovering they’re teenagers changes things. Whilst the odd squashed apple isn’t crime of the century playing like this for 30 mins isn’t harmless either. It’s not particularly respectful to the environment they’re in or others who may be using it (be it people or wildlife). Teens are far stronger than young children, they have the ability to cause far more distraction and they need to start having an awareness of their surroundings and the consequences of their actions.

Seems a bit OTT but it would obviously make a lot more mess than the fruit just lying on the ground so i’d have told them to stop after 5 mins or do, but does seem a bit much for her to have a go at them like that.

I really feel for teenage boys who are still boys at heart but described as “intimidating” when they do the same physical activity they need and used to do as little kids.

While I do agree that perhaps this wasn’t the most sensible activity for them- teenage boys are allowed to play without being labelled as destructive and intimidating. They weren’t “smashing up” anything. Let’s drop the hyperbole and recognise that it’s children we’re talking about.

I agree with this.

if kids can’t even do something as harmless as kick a rotten apple without being told off, then how can they go about life? (I was kicking rotting apples in my own garden the other day at the grand old age of 45. The audacity).

Sounds like wholesome fun to me. Some people complain about anything...

I wouldn't be too keen on my kids doing this, but only because of it getting all over their shoes!
If they are wearing wellies crack on 😆

Haha. Every day when I go running I have to run over rotten apples like this. Next time I might run over a pigeon to see what happens. Ridiculous post.

Nice to hear your boys were getting on and are willing to have fun with each other away from tech OP.

No wonder kids can’t go out and about to have a bit of fun.

I wouldn’t have complained but I wouldn’t have let my kids behave like that in a public park either. I do think your boys are way too old for that behaviour (was expecting you to say 3-8 year olds) - they should have just kicked a football instead.

I think a good rule of thumb for a public space is that with any activity you’re doing you should leave the place how you found it (or improve it, e.g litter picking).

I wouldn’t let my kids dig holes in the ground for that reason- something they always tried to do with their hands when they were little. Innocent enough on the beach or in our garden, but a nuisance in a public park since the ground is less stable for others. The apples being mushy and bits flung further afield is worse than the situation before your boys found them- so for that reason alone I think YWBU.

Can't believe the poll... Deffo harmless fun!

This sounds like our teens. We spend a lot of time outside with them and are pretty restrictive in terms of screens so they're good at making up their own games. Said games are sometimes mildly destructive and football adjacent so very like you've described. We always step in if they're rowdy/disturbing others/doing anything that could cause any damage but I like the fact they're outside and can entertain themselves. We occasionally get comments/complaints. I actually think people are really unused to seeing teenage boys entertaining themselves outside (with the attendant physicality). While they'd say they don't like screens and children being inside in their bedrooms all the time they'd actually prefer that's where they are as the they are out of the way.

Stamping on an already rotten apple is hardly a crime, nor is using it as a football etc (presuming as already mentioned that no one is nearby and they're not making an absolute racket). My dad grew up in the 60s/early 70s and wandered around unsupervised playing various mildly destructive games. There is growing evidence that some of his generations emotional resilience came from that freedom. Our horror at an exploded apple is part of our attitude towards a whole generation of children who we'd prefer didn't bother us subdued and "safe" behind a screen. We're destroying a whole generation with this over supervised, anxious parenting. By any measure, our teens and young people are struggling and this is partly why.^^

It’s the Yorkshire dales - the field and tree will belong to someone…

I wouldn’t let my teens do that OP. It is disrespectful and wasteful. Many people will use bruised fruit. It also makes a right mess

Your sons sound like toddlers.
Do you think people visiting this beauty spot want to see the place in its natural beauty or apple mush?
Also its pretty intimidating to see youths bring so destructive, smasjing up stuff jumping up and down on and booting apples about the place.
Would you want appkr mush smeared all over YOUR lawn?

Not bonkers at all. All about respect for nature. Clearly lots of people in this thread have never lived in the countryside.

Oh my gosh this is exactly what I think - it’s only apples today, tomorrow a poor hedgehog. Lots of examples of this in the media recently. Respect nature, whatever it is.

Trust me - I come from a small rural tourist area originally and the locals absolutely do know!

I never used to let my kids kick apples when out and about as I worried about them being full of slightly drunk, annoyed wasps. I’ve witnessed quite a few shrieks at local community orchard from the Apple squishers/ kickers.

Mumsnet is bonkers after midnight. How did you get from rotting fruit to hedgehog? They dont sound like psychopaths.

In a field, in nature, rotting apples would be the least of the nasties on your shoes 🤣

Hopefully they’ll learn the difference between harmless fun and deliberately harming or disturbing wildlife. Today it’s kicking around rotten apples because they’re “only rotten”; tomorrow, where does that attitude towards living things stop? Perhaps teach them some respect for nature before “it’s only a bit of fun” becomes an excuse for something far less harmless — like thinking it’s funny to kick a hedgehog.

I think there’s a bit more to this than “they were only kicking rotten apples.” Fallen fruit isn’t necessarily waste just because it’s bruised or rotting — birds, insects and other wildlife can feed on it, and it forms part of the natural cycle as it decomposes. Kicking and stomping it all over the place means wildlife loses the opportunity to use it and it also leaves the area looking messy.
And if this was a popular picnic area, I think there’s something to be said for simply teaching children to respect the countryside and shared spaces. It’s not about stopping teenage boys having fun or making them sit quietly with a book; they can kick a football around, run about and let off steam without deliberately destroying things that are part of the environment.
One of the simplest lessons we can teach children is to leave a place as you found it — perhaps even a little better. Just because something looks insignificant or “already rotten” doesn’t mean it has no purpose. Personally, I think the other parent had a perfectly reasonable point, even if there may have been better ways of making it.

Not to mention, deer, rabbits, foxes…It’s not the garden of a grand house.

That sounds like a total over reaction. Compared to lighting fires in nearby fields in the middle of the heatwave, I have seen a lot worse this year.