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AIBU?

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Is drinking a bottle of wine four nights a week a problem?

330 replies

Dersnannienow · 16/09/2026 14:10

If someone drank a full bottle of wine to relax 4 nights a week every week would you consider that a drink problem? Even if they functioned properly still worked still took care of their family etc. Would they be kidding themselves to think that this is a normal and acceptable way to relax?

OP posts:
Gloriia · 16/09/2026 17:19

Elsvieta · 16/09/2026 17:18

Even if their life, family etc are functioning fine, there will come a time when their liver isn't.

And the drinker always say they function fine. No one else will agree though, family friends etc.

Elsvieta · 16/09/2026 17:18

Even if their life, family etc are functioning fine, there will come a time when their liver isn't.

Itsbeenalongtimeincoming · 16/09/2026 17:18

100% yes I would think they have a drink problem. Being a functioning alcoholic still
makes you an alcoholic.

OP I think you need to get some help or if you ca. start to seriously cut back:

Gloriia · 16/09/2026 17:18

PuzzledObserver · 16/09/2026 16:53

In any given year, roughly 14% of adults would meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder - or alcoholism, as most of us still call it. So that might explain the significant minority of people saying the OP’s consumption is not that bad.

There is a (sick) joke which goes that an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than their doctor. My DF was a doctor - a GP. He functioned well all his life, never let patients down, was always on duty when he was supposed to be, was in fact a police surgeon in the days before breath alcohol meters, regularly going down the police station to draw blood from people who had been arrested for being drunk in charge.

DH likes to say -referring to that joke - that my father had very few alcoholic patients. He didn’t quite die of the booze, because pneumonia got him first, but he was heading towards end stage liver disease when he died. Solvent, still married, a model citizen and member of the community.

You make it all sound like he was just a naughty man. Didn't anyone report him, didn't anyone at his practice realise he was a drunk?

Sorry for his sad death from pneumonia but blimey it sounds like he could well have caused accidents the way you say he drove 'before breathalysers' so you all knew he was under the influence at work? I don't quite get the joke you refer to?

TorroFerney · 16/09/2026 17:15

Happyjoe · 16/09/2026 15:25

I don't think that's fair on a thread about someone needing 4 bottles a week in order to relax. You know that's not right.

Quite agree. Poor form from that poster. This is serious.

Momon45 · 16/09/2026 17:15

If I drank a whole bottle I would be very drunk . I think it's a problem .

Krispycrem · 16/09/2026 17:15

Health wise it’s certainly too much, whether it’s a drink problem or not is for you to judge.

Gloriia · 16/09/2026 17:09

rosie1959 · 16/09/2026 17:03

There is actually a very big difference in fact alcoholism has little to do with how much you drink but the effect it has.
Sober for over 20 years

I was responding to a pp who said a heavy drinker is in control and an alcoholic isn't . Neither are that's where there isn't a difference.
An alcoholic will develop medical diseases quicker but a heavy drinker will catch up.
Once you drink too much, you drink too much it's all a slippery slope.

FFSItsTooHot · 16/09/2026 17:06

Yes,I would say it is a problem. Bearing in mind that there is around 9 - 10 units of alcohol in an average bottle of wine,that's 36 - 40 units of alcohol per week. Which is way over the maximum recommended 14 units per week for women.

smooththecat · 16/09/2026 17:05

Yes, it’s extremely bad for your health. You won’t feel the damage being done, it doesn’t show up until it’s too late unfortunately.

Kokonimater · 16/09/2026 17:05

It’s too much.
and think about the calories.
you’re eating 3 donuts every night.

rosie1959 · 16/09/2026 17:03

Gloriia · 16/09/2026 15:31

There is little difference. The heavy drinker thinks they're in control as does the alcoholic. Neither are.

Alkies will have more extreme health issues but the heavy drinker is sadly not far behind.

There is actually a very big difference in fact alcoholism has little to do with how much you drink but the effect it has.
Sober for over 20 years

SleeplessRoads · 16/09/2026 17:01

What do you do to relax on the nights you’re not drinking? Can you do that for one more night a week and drink one less night? How do you feel about the prospect of not drinking for a month? if you feel negatively about the prospect of not drinking, or you regularly think about the wine you’re going to drink that evening during the day, I’d say it indicates a problem.

Problem or not though, it’s a very unhealthy lifestyle and I’d be concerned for you if you were eating McDonald’s 4x a week, so I think 4x bottles of wine is also a concern.

Wadsworthy · 16/09/2026 16:59

Are you dependent on the alcohol? If so, you’re an alcoholic.

Four bottles of wine a week is excessive. Stop it now, and save your health (and the NHS). Get yourself to AA.

MassiveOvaryaction · 16/09/2026 16:57

Not clear on the voting but YABU to drink a full bottle 4 nights a week and YANBU to think it's a problem.

maggisimpson · 16/09/2026 16:56

4 bottles is too much in that it's unhealthy. I don't know if it's a 'drinking problem'.

I probably drink 2 bottles a week, occasionally 3 - I do have nights off but I also think it's too much!

Tsubasa1 · 16/09/2026 16:55

Yes, my boyfriend drinks about this much and I consider him to have a drinking problem/ addiction. Even though he can function it will affect his health eventually, probably sooner rather than later

PuzzledObserver · 16/09/2026 16:53

In any given year, roughly 14% of adults would meet the diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder - or alcoholism, as most of us still call it. So that might explain the significant minority of people saying the OP’s consumption is not that bad.

There is a (sick) joke which goes that an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than their doctor. My DF was a doctor - a GP. He functioned well all his life, never let patients down, was always on duty when he was supposed to be, was in fact a police surgeon in the days before breath alcohol meters, regularly going down the police station to draw blood from people who had been arrested for being drunk in charge.

DH likes to say -referring to that joke - that my father had very few alcoholic patients. He didn’t quite die of the booze, because pneumonia got him first, but he was heading towards end stage liver disease when he died. Solvent, still married, a model citizen and member of the community.

MatronPomfrey · 16/09/2026 16:53

Yes it is a significant risk to your health. Do you drive early the next day? Could you be over the drink drive limit? Do you have accidents around the home while intoxicated?

You need to find other ways to deal with stress. Don’t try and bargain with yourself, like only saying you’ll drink half a bottle instead. You need to stop and develop better coping strategies.

HRTQueen · 16/09/2026 16:52

Needing a bottle of wine to relax is a problem

That this is four times a week is a problem

is there no other ways to help with relaxation

wiredandtired · 16/09/2026 16:51

As in, they drink four bottles of wine a week? Or one bottle spread over 4 days?

Four bottles a week is a lot and not healthy.

Having one bottle over four days - so around a glass a day - is fine.

HettyMeg · 16/09/2026 16:51

StableCable · 16/09/2026 15:59

Someone close to you has had to work up the courage to approach you about this.

That means people close to you have noticed and are worried about the amount you drunk. Those people may have aginised over how and when to speak to you.

The fact that they have done so should add real weight to your thinking on this.

I agree. Someone is worried and concerned enough, that shows they care and love you. I have been that person and it is really hard to get the courage to say something. I have done it a few times now and nothing has changed with my mum's drinking.

HettyMeg · 16/09/2026 16:48

My mum has about the same volume - not a bottle four times a week but a couple of glasses most nights so probably works out the same. I figured out a while ago that it is a problem because while I don't focus on the amount of alcohol consumed I can see that she needs it to relax and unwind, and that for me is a problem. Not to mention the damage done to her body on the inside. She does not see it as a problem however.

MyDeftDuck · 16/09/2026 16:48

Isn’t there a warning on all alcohol bottles depicting the units the bottle contains or am I misunderstanding?
Either way, four bottles a week is very excessive but you do you OP. But do give a thought for your liver and brain…..both of which will suffer from overindulgence of alcohol long term

user9764875954 · 16/09/2026 16:45

I’d say you are approaching problem levels if your keeping that pace up for any number of years - I drank a similar amount, probably more from late 20’s to early 40’s when my social life changed after having kids. Before booze was a binge on a night out a couple of times a month, but after kids we started drinking at home most nights and the amounts creep up on you…I was diagnosed with a fatty liver on a scan and stopped completely for a few years. Now at 50 I just drink if we go out for dinner/weddings/social events - never at home.
I could drink a bottle of wine and feel fine, completely sober, now one glass makes me merry so I stop there! If you’re sinking a bottle without feeling any effects you’ve built up quite a tolerance and its time to cut right back imo.

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