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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

159 replies

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:25

My partner is absolutely enraged by the idea I might go away without him. We don’t live together and finances are totally separate.

My mum is a planner and likes to know what we would like for Christmas early. I have always wanted to go to London to the biggest bookshops in Europe. Sad, I know, but I love books. I can’t justify a splurge on them though, so I’ve asked her for vouchers. She still gives pretty decent gifts. My plan is to go for a weekend (£100 hotel and £70 train fare)

My partner is enraged. He thinks I should a) ask for money for both of us to take a holiday together and b) go away with him only.

AIBU to do it anyway?

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 16/09/2026 12:57

Your partner is cheap and controlling. He wants to limit your life to spending what you have on him because he's a low earner. It's one thing to support someone financially through a rough patch and a very different thing to partner with someone who thinks your finances should be spent on him only.

Throw this dusty back.

TidyDog · 16/09/2026 12:57

Unreasonable to go away on your own for a weekend? No

Unreasonable to budget only £100 for a hotel in London? Definitely yes

BiddyPopthe2nd · 16/09/2026 12:54

Would he want a holiday where you go and get lost in a bookshop? Or would he expect to spend max 30 minutes there and the rest of the2 days doing things he wants?

LarryForPrimeMinister · 16/09/2026 12:52

summitfever · 16/09/2026 12:43

This guy has got seriously fucked up ideas about what a relationship should look like and marrying this man and having kids will be a HUGE mistake! Ask me how I know. 😏

Yep this.
You have a kid with this guy "You can't leave the house without taking the child with you and you have to make the house spotless first." Dump him!

mindutopia · 16/09/2026 12:51

Well, I’d be dumping him for a start.

I’m married to Dh. We have children together. I don’t technically work apart from a little bit for the family business, so all my money is technically his money, if you want to get technical.

I take a least one solo trip every year. I’ve been to Spain 3 times without him in the past year alone. I’m off to a weekend in London next month. Apart from checking with each other about if the other is free to have the kids, no one dictates where and when we travel.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 16/09/2026 12:51

Jesus christ. If I go away and ask my husband he always says "Nope you go on your own Larry. Im good." Usually to see my family but still. 🤣🚩 Major red flags here!

Original poster
ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:50

TheOriginalEmu · 16/09/2026 12:43

Getting them online isn’t the same, if you’re not into books that probably doesn’t make
sense, but the smell of new books, looking at all the covers, reading the blurb etc is all part of the experience. i once was in that shop for 6 hours. its glorious.

Show quote history

Yes I want to go and get totally lost. Not just order things online and wait for a parcel.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 16/09/2026 12:47

Enraged is he? I hope that's the last conversation you have with him. And spending hours in a book store sounds like sheer bliss by the way.

Sally2791 · 16/09/2026 12:46

Dump the twat, enjoy the books

summitfever · 16/09/2026 12:43

This guy has got seriously fucked up ideas about what a relationship should look like and marrying this man and having kids will be a HUGE mistake! Ask me how I know. 😏

TheOriginalEmu · 16/09/2026 12:43

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

Getting them online isn’t the same, if you’re not into books that probably doesn’t make
sense, but the smell of new books, looking at all the covers, reading the blurb etc is all part of the experience. i once was in that shop for 6 hours. its glorious.

TheWildZebra · 16/09/2026 12:43

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

People go to London just to go shopping, why is a book store any different?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2026 12:41

If that’s something you really want to do, you should do it!

Don’t listen to anyone saying you can buy more books online for that amount - you want the experience of browsing
and that’s fine!

I would seriously rethink this relationship!

fumingrightnow1 · 16/09/2026 12:41

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

Then as an adult he needs to look for better jobs or cut costs in his life to get extra not expect his partner to fund his lifestyle

Madamecholetsbonnet · 16/09/2026 12:40

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Bin him and have a brilliant time. Your trip sounds ace.

GoodkneeBadKnee · 16/09/2026 12:40

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

Well, that's not your fault, is it? Keep your finances separate and don't move in with him.

Campanulaceae · 16/09/2026 12:40

Make sure you visit Hatchards as well 😄

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:39

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

Not the same as browsing the shelves alongside fellow book lovers, and chatting to well informed staff....

AnnieDoodling · 16/09/2026 12:39

Have a wonderful time in London! And whilst you are away, if not before, please rethink this relationship.

TruffleSlinky · 16/09/2026 12:39

He is being selfish and unreasonable.

Ifeelold48 · 16/09/2026 12:38

Not only is he controling he's grabby as well. Id throw this one back @ijustwanttiread. I wouldnt allow my husband to tell me what to do and be enraged about my choices let alone a BF.

nietzscheanvibe · 16/09/2026 12:38

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

🤣

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:37

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

He's bonkers. You are not his mum. If he wants to travel he should save up the money. Enjoy your trip, it sounds amazing.

anonymous24601 · 16/09/2026 12:35

Yes you must absolutely do it!! (and also dump him when you're ready obvs.) Have a lovely time, I want to do this myself now. What bookshops are on your list? (Foyles presumably, anything else?) I always used to enjoy The Atlantis Bookshop and Watkins, but I'm a bit of an old hippy. You could have a brilliant weekend!

Original poster
ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:30

Come on OP, how could it be reasonable for you only to go away if you take your boyfriend with you? What century do you live in?

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

OP posts: