To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

This would be a brilliant weekend, and very much the kind of thing I would love. London has gorgeous bookshops - Daunts is lovely, as also the London Bookbarge. So much to explore! Oh, and your partner - so many red flags a) doesn't get your love for books b) doesn't respect your autonomy/freedom to make plans without him and c) thinks it is appropriate to get you to ask your mum for money to take him!!!

What do you imagine is so bad about being single that you’d rather be in a relationship with a controlling arsehole than? There’s no way I’d choose to live a life of someone telling me what I can or cannot do.

I mean … If you have any sense at all, @ijustwanttiread, you won’t be together by January, so where you go and what you do will be absolutely none of his business. (Not that it is now, anyway.)

I’m just going to assume you’re drafting a ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ type novel?

Make Hay-On-Wye your next trip. Solo obviously.

He wants your mum to pay for his holidays. Is he aware how much he has embarrassed himself?

Go. Enjoy your trip. Send him a postcard from every shop.

More seriously, don't stay in a relationship where your partner becomes enraged with you.

YABU and should go to Hay on Wye instead

Jesus Christ, there's NOTHING unreasonable (or sad) about loving books or wanting to spend a weekend doing something for you by yourself. What is unreasonable is staying with a man who gets 'enraged' about you spending time alone, spending money on yourself or pursuing your own interests.

Who does he think he is? Don't back down on this. It's not sad to like books. Do what pleases you.

Well tell him you have 1k to spend. Hopefully he'll end the relationship and save you the bother.

I mean how dare you spend your own money on yourself!
When he seems well up for managing it for you
.

Your partner is a weirdo. Enjoy your solo weekend.

Where do you live? There are some spectacular 2nd hand bookshops all over the country, like vast and beautiful and full of character. Most Waterstones are much of a muchness so you could go to your nearest one and save the money for books.

As regards the trip, he's bonkers and unreasonable. Get rid.

Er, why wouldn't you?
I've been married for decades and we often have separate, solo holidays and weekends to match our personal interests (we also holiday together).
Even in a couple, you are still an independent person, OP, and you absolutely don't need your partner's permission. Book your trip, and tell him to f*ck off!

That sounds like a lovely time and a very kind gift from your mum OP. I can't imagine being anything but stoked for my partner if they were getting to do this. What a weirdo.

Enraged? May I suggest a book for you to read?

Lundy Bancroft Why Does He Do That

I think you'll find him in there. Anyone that was sane and loving wouldn't have a problem with their partner going to a book shop without them. There is no way this is the only problematic behaviour he has. Take care of yourself OP,

Why do you have to ask us? As a bookish person I would assume that you have enough intelligence to know that it is YOU who is bonkers here I'm afraid.

So decide if you want to live a life of slavery to his demands, not be independent of thought or action, and plan for that.

Unless.....

Is he 12? In the bin with him.

Sounds like you need to dump him so you have the freedom to go away by yourself whenever you like. May I suggest also visiting Waterstones in Bradford, due to the spectacular building it's in:

WATERSTONES BRADFORD - All You SHOULD Know Before You Go (w/ 2026 Reviews)

The city centre is a lot nicer than it used to be and you can make a weekend of it by also visiting Howarth for all things Bronte and Saltaire, which also has a lovely huge bookshop in Salts Mill.

I never swear usually on here but he can get to fuck! Honestly go on your trip he doesn't get to decide how you spend your money and leisure time. One of my Dds had a boyfriend like this even made her cut her summer job short we had no idea he was like this anyway go to London have a great time.

More red flags than a Labour Party Conference! This is one t throw back.

You will love the book shops in London. I have spent a lot of time and money in them.

I once spent 6 hours in a book shop in Paris but they did have a cafe and a loo.

Everything you have pointed out about the relationship is correct.

He has already "kicked off" though. There is only worse to follow if @ijustwanttiread stays with him.

@ijustwanttiread That bookshop tour sounds wonderful. I hope you go and enjoy it fully 🌞

You don't live together (keep it that way), and you have separate finances (always do that), so what business of his is it what you spend your money on?!

Also, the cheek of him saying you should ask your mum for money for the two of you to go away - is he actually joking? He surely can't be serious.
Unless you've been together for many years, you all exchange gifts for Christmas and birthdays, and he's 'one of the family'.

It's still a huge red flag that he is "enraged" by you going away on your own FOR ONE NIGHT!!

I don't usually say LTB, but in this case I'll make an exception...

LTB.

For Heaven’s sake-don’t tell him that!

What have we come to when a man thinks a woman needs his permission to visit a bookshop?

If this thread is real - please think hard about what you’ve related here, @ijustwanttiread.

Thankfully the relationship you describe isn’t really a ‘partnership’. He’s just a boyfriend. Ideally an ex-boyfriend.