To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

I would be ending a relationship like this.

Enjoy your bookshops OP and dump the loser. I love books and sadly have no decent bookshops anywhere. My highlight of Oxford years ago was blackwells. If there’s bookshops and museums I don’t need anything else.

All the blood pressure being raised by the OP reassures me that this probably isn’t real.

Most threads aren’t, these days … 🤷‍♀️

"We don’t live together and finances are totally separate."
In my eyes that makes him less of a partner and more of a boyfriend. How long have you been a couple, whereby he feels entitled to dictate your choices?

"My partner is enraged. He thinks I should a) ask for money for both of us to take a holiday together and b) go away with him only."
He wishes to dictate what present your mother is allowed to give to you? That her present must be to both of you and not just to her daughter? Fuck off! And to go away with him only? Like some sort of possession without agency to meet their own wants and needs? Again - fuck off!

"His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him"
To rephrase, he wishes to restrict your choices to only those he can make.

This man is telling you who he is - believe him. He is a selfish and wannabe controlling prick. Use this knowledge wisely. Never let him have any say in your life choices. To be honest, his being enraged should be a dumping trigger. He seriously is not worth a long-term relationship.

And as an aside - I think a day in a massive bookshop is a great solo trip to make. For future ideas, can I suggest Barter Books in Alnwick (https://www.barterbooks.co.uk) "One of the Largest Second Hand Bookstores in Britain". It is truly massive, I feel I covered only half of it in the afternoon I spent there. Also, Hay-on-Wye (https://www.hay-on-wye.co.uk/tourism/bookshops) which has 25ish bookshops in a compact little town. It is the only time ever that I felt I was 'bookshopp'ed out' IYSWIM. Many of the stores are genre-specific, I spent hours in Bookshop 451 which was sci-fi, trawling unknowns and old favourites alike. It also has a lovely small market on Saturdays, it's a brilliant place to go. (I love second-hand bookshops because they stock books that are now out-of-print and I'll likely never see on a shelf again which justifies me buying all sorts of books. Enjoy!)

I’ve got two primary school kids. Regularly by my wife a break from us. He is an absolute bell end . Please give yourself the best xmas present and ditch the dick head

Bloody hell. Like many on here I’m married and I’ve been on lots of long and short trips away on my own, with my husbands blessing, including one three week one that he funded completely.

Where else in your life is he controlling? I bet it’s not just limited to travelling without him?

That is a him problem, in no way a you problem! Go, have fun, dump the sack of flour weighing you down x

He needs to save up and take YOU away for a weekend, not tag along like a piece of used gum on your shoe.

Just go alone.

If he really doesn't like it then he needs to fund and put some of his own plans into action rather than take over yours.

DUMP HIM! I can barely see you through all the massive red flags. What a monumental prick.

Also, it's not sad to love books. If you've not been already, can I also recommend a trip to Hay-on-Wye?

So your twat of a partner "absolutely enraged" (faaaacking hells bells) about you going away together is a RED FLAG. It would still be a red flag if you lived together and shared your finances as maybe there'd be underlying concerns about childcare or pet care or spending a tight budget but for him to express an opinion about how you share your own money is what's absolutely enraging me and is a massive RED FLAG. It's none of his business, he needs to get in a bin.

He also has the audacity to assume he has any right to dictate what Christmas present you receive from your mum who has been your mother your entire life, this is a controlling and selfish RED FLAG. Your mum can gift you whatever she wants and if it's a gift that you particularly love and want and request then that's even better.

Does he want her to spend twice her budget on the two of you going?! Outrageous. Or does he want to veto your bookshop trip as he'd rather get a weekend away out of it than let you have some solo joy in your life.

I can't emphasise enough what a massive ick this man has given me through my screen. Who even is he? Bin him right off.

He's threatened by books? Grow the fuck up little man.

Enjoy your trip. And your peace. You don't need this kind of ridiculousness in your life. Eww.

He's "enraged" because you won't share all your spare time and disposable income with him. Oh dear. It's good that you have separate homes and finances because it will be easier to dump him.

Have you been to Hay on Wye? If not do consider it for one of your book-heaven trips. you might meet a nice literary gent who suits you better

just got back from a weekend in Londone Kingscross Travelodge £103 per night, £3 over admittedley but I was very pleased with the deal...plus got train for £14 each way Manchester to Euston, bargains to be had if you look around

Buying online is not the same as browsing in a fabulous bookshop.

I'm struggling to understand how this is your problem? Surely all the more reason for him to cheer you on for having the opportunity yourself?

As others have said, my DP and I have been together 20+ years and have two children, but we still support each other to have separate lives including solo weekends away. Your BF is being totally unreasonable. I wonder if the same rules would apply to him if he got the chance for a weekend away without you?

Lol he sounds like a right catch! Sorry OP xx

Enraged at you? Wow because he’s a loser that can’t afford to travel to London..yeah ok and how exactly is this your fault? What a nasty man, I hope you realise you don’t have to put up with this and there’s a better life out there

Go for it. It sounds a lovely little break. Tell partner to go to hell.

Blimey what’s wrong with him then, what n odd jealous little man,

Christ, not another one 🤦‍♀️ I'm baffled at all these unreasonable men (so many threads on here!) He's enraged? Tell him to fuck off and don't come back! Honestly, why would anyone put up with a boyfriend who's enraged at you having a weekend away???

If you want a weekend away looking in bookshops, you should go to Hay on Wye - tons of bookshops, lovely places to eat and it's a pretty little town!

As the great John Waters put it

“We need to make books cool again.
If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t f* ’em!”

Dump the insecure control freak and go on as many bookshop trips as you like.

I couldn't be with a man like this, I don't like controlling and entitled people. I think it's healthy for anyone to do things by themselves once in a while, including going away for a couple of days. A decent partner would not only encourage it, but would want to do it themselves, too.

Go have fun! Cecil Court recently came up on one of my feeds and now I want to go visit that, it's a road of independent bookshops in London.

Why are you only engaging with talk about books and ignoring all the posts about what a controlling arsehole your boyfriend is?

He sounds absolutely dreadful! If you left him, you wouldn't have to buy him a Christmas present, and could use that money to add to your book stash 😈.

Go to Piccadilly - the Waterstones is a whole different experience - and Hatchards is just so glorious to wander around. I used to work in the Books Etc opposite the gigantic Waterstones (it is now a Mountain Warehouse or something depressing). It is a lovely area to roam for books - and you can drift up Shaftesbury Ave for Foyles on CCRoad.

Have the most AMAZING time!

Definitely lose the controlling stroppy arsehole bf for a start. Fuck that shit!

Also, £170 on books is not massive. Probs a dozen tops in somewhere like Waterstones. Could easily spend more!! I do love hours in a bookshop so I think you should definitely have a weekend away to yourself browsing books, My only suggestion is you could approach it in other ways too. Eg, have you looked at Wigtown? Lots of book shops. It’s a ‘book town’ in fact. You can even stay in a wee BnB which is also a bookshop.