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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this burn out?

36 replies

karrabee · 15/09/2026 21:56

I have always been someone who gets a lot done. I am a single parent, trustee of a very small charity (we fix people's bikes for free), I work full time (home based), my son does a competitive sport, I'm also a trustee of his club, and on the board of a local initiative, I've applied for a research fellowship which I am excited about, and it has all felt ok until... it doesn't anymore. Over the last few weeks I am suddenly just out of it. Like I've hit a wall. I'm not depressed. I feel ok in myself. I have just lost the ability to actually do anything. I feel like a zombie. I stare at my phone once he is in bed. I comfort eat. I stand in the shower in the morning for 30 mins. It's like my energy is zapped. Thing is, I love the sport and when I am with him watching him do his thing, I feel energised and can forget about everything for a while, but anything that requires any sort of mental effort just leaves me wanting to scream at the moment. I can't think. I am irritable. Like there is just this weird energy I can't get rid of and I feel like I need to go and smash things but don't have the energy to. I can't get my work done in the day because I can't focus, so do it at night. I just feel really odd, and exhausted, and not myself. Does this sound like burnout?

OP posts:
karrabee · 15/09/2026 22:08

I think it is burnout. I think the staring at my phone is a way of gettinf away from it all. It is a waste of time but it is so low effort. And I think the feeling of wanting to smash something is because I am running on adrenaline and not actually using it as intended, and haven't the physical energy to. When I watch my son doing his sport I am shouting for him, running about, helping to organise but am around people i love, and it is like a release. I think I might be a bit broken!

OP posts:
BestPlannerInTown · 15/09/2026 22:07

karrabee · 15/09/2026 22:02

I am also quite sleep deprived so it could literally just be that

Sleep deprivation can cause depression. Try to get more sleep.

SuffolkBargeWoman · 15/09/2026 22:05

Sleep deprivation can get you like that.
Can you spend a week consciously getting enough time in bed and from an early time, every night?

What is the reason you are sleep deprived?

I often find lack of sleep makes me slightly deranged before it makes me feel tired.

karrabee · 15/09/2026 22:03

SuffolkBargeWoman · 15/09/2026 22:02

Any anxiety? Mood swings? Night sweats? Random joint pains?

No none of those things

OP posts:
karrabee · 15/09/2026 22:02

I am also quite sleep deprived so it could literally just be that

OP posts:
SuffolkBargeWoman · 15/09/2026 22:02

Any anxiety? Mood swings? Night sweats? Random joint pains?

Winter2020 · 15/09/2026 22:00

Blood tests looking for low iron or other deficiencies might be a good place to start - or as another poster has suggested menopause/HRT?

karrabee · 15/09/2026 22:00

I am 35

OP posts:
SuffolkBargeWoman · 15/09/2026 21:59

Burnout or peri menopause, how old are you?
Could also be vitamin or iron deficiency, how are your Vit D levels?
Possibly the beginning of depression?

Sorry to hear you feel like this, it's important to try to work out what's going on before it can get any worse.

Dexternight · 15/09/2026 21:59

Be kind to your body.
Learn to say no.
You don't need to be superwoman.
Your body and mind will thank you.

BestPlannerInTown · 15/09/2026 21:59

Perimenopause perhaps? What age are you?