Is this burn out?

Great post.

You are doing all the stuff a bloke would be doing and being congratulated for but that bloke very likely has a wife at home doing the wife work. Or she got totally fed up and now does the wife work for herself but does 90% of the parenting elsewhere. You are being your own wife.

If you realistically wrote down everything you do and allocated an appropriate amount of time for each (including all the little stuff like shower, shopping list, vacuuming, sleeping, eating), how would your 24 x 7 hours add up? Would they equal 24 or would they add up to more than 24?

Do you earn enough to outsource stuff? Get someone in for a day per week to clean, make beds, do four loads of washing, bring in the shopping delivery and prep a couple of meals?

Do you think the change of season could be a factor even if it hasn't before? All the grey sky, rain and getting dark early is such a big contrast to the summer we had and it is energy sapping. You could well be doing too much (I'm exhausted just reading that list). I feel similar a lot of the time but never really have a chance to just have a few days off and sleep, chill out etc.

Yes I think it’s burnout. Go on holiday - or have a week off at home on your own and don’t make any arrangements - just potter about, go for walks, have hot baths - do a bit of housework if you want to . . . It will feel odd at first to not be going at full pelt but you will benefit from it.

You have described exactly how I was feeling in the 6 months before I finally crashed out of everything and ended up having to leave work altogether.
I had been under serious stress for 5 years, had had a month off work sick due to that but had returned because I was the sole earner.
I thought I had to do everything that was asked of me just to keep the roof over our heads.
It has taken me 10 years to fully recover - nothing is worth such suffering - you are overloaded , start saying No…. please look after yourself first as you don’t get a second chance. Good Luck.

Sounds like burn out. It recently dawned on me that this is what's been going on with me. I did way too much for far too long.

I was working, and had umpteen other things I was involved in, including at least half a dozen hobbies I didn't really have time for. I was keeping it all going. My job was becoming increasingly stressful and in the end, I quit and took early retirement. I'd been thinking about it for a while, and absolutely longed to retire so I could do all the things that I wanted to.

That was over four months ago. Since then I have done just about nothing. At night I alternate between sleeping like a log for 12 hours, and being half awake tossing and turning all night. I have no energy to even think about my hobbies, let alone do them. I have to force myself to do the bare minimum of housework and DH is being marvellous about it and has really stepped up.

I feel like I have just shut down. I have no motivation for anything, and can't be bothered to do any of the stuff I wanted to do when I retired. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to be left alone and do nothing.

When I read your list you do a lot for other people - what do you do for you?

If your vitamin D is low that can make it hard to sleep.

I suffered burnout and yours sounds similar - doctor gave me antidepressants but I didn’t take them because I knew I wasn’t depressed - I was just completely worn out.
I started to take better care of myself- nutrients, sleep, exercise and yoga. I tried to cut back on as many things as I could that were causing me stress BUT I honestly believe the best thing by far was learning to meditate daily.
It’s not easy to meditate and I used a CD guided meditation (was a long time ago). It was a bit of trial and error to find a voice and approach that suited me - several didn’t.
Good luck with what works for you.

Probably burnout. It sounds like you took a lot on.

I had it that last year but was building up for awhile. Had to take 5 months of work and find an easier/more relaxed job. It took awhile to get fully recovered. The first few months I didn’t want to do much but sleep, excercise a bit, meditate, read.

A bit early for menopause; but it does sound like you are doing a lot.

Definitely get blood tests: iron, b12, vitamin D, thyroid, etc.

Did you take any supplements? vitamin D, magnesium glycinate, well woman? excercise?

I have similar symptoms and am currently working 50% for a few weeks due to burn out. I have been seriously burnt out many years ago, and it isn't as bad as that was (then it took years to recover), but the current feeling is a sign that things aren't okay and it is time to take measures before it gets worse. Could you get signed off for a while? I would also make a GP appointment for blood tests as soon as you can.

That all sounds like burn out. Change to a brick phone. Cut out everything you can from your life. Build in simple self-care. Then start thinking about long term changes you need to make.

It does sound like it sorry have been there amd it will get worse if you don’t relinquish some of your duties. Onvs rule out all underlying conditions first with GP,
then after bloods invest in a good vitamin b2 magnesium. Then put the phone in a different room. Silence all notifications. Start esting best you can even extra veg ready cooked chicken,
now a single mum pressured job and running round after compettive sport is quite enough,
choose your hard as in hard to give up these boards hard to feel burnt out, you have done amazing to have given your time but it’s someones else’s turn now, you need to resign now. Im sorry i expect you don’t want to but you simply say im dorry few health issues and dont be blackmailed. Look if you get really bad you could be on sick leave and how you gonna pay bills snd look after son? I mean this kindly you have to prioritise health and your son right now. I really wish you better x

I would back away from as many voluntary roles as you can. I found myself absolutely swamped with stuff, being on 2 charity boards, volunteering at Cubs, helping at church and walking the neighbours dog when she (the owner) broke her hip. I’m a single parent and work full time as well, and I have my own dog!
My therapist gave me a reality check, I was like but if I don’t do it, who will? She said, well someone else, or no one, but it doesnt have to be you!
Give yourself permission to step back.

Please google "clinical burnout" as it's too long to post here. I was in that state and couldn't dial a phone number or calculate simple math. I'd get into a state of panic over simple decisions, would procrastinate to detrimental consequence professionally and otherwise, and then ruminate once I finally made a decision. It took me months to decide on which dish drying rack to buy. People joke about burnout all the time, but it is truly horrible.

There's your answer. You're not sleeping, you're knackered!

I used to get like this and my gp would give me a 2 week course of zopiclone just to get back in the habit of sleeping and be able to recharge. He also suggested a sleep CBT course, but tbh thinking about everything that went in to that just kept my mind awake!

The tablets don't knock you out they just allow you to actually fall asleep. A reset if you will.

Id suggest seeing your gp and getting your fsh levels checked. I felt just like this at 36. Was given anti depressants but I didn't feel depressed. Kept going back. At 38 I saw a young female gp who checked my fsh levels. I was in full menopause. Started on Hrt and felt so much better.

Of course premature menopause is rare but it does happen. So many women are incorrectly diagnosed with depression when it is menopause. At least if its ruled out you know its not that.

You have stretched yourself so thin you don't know whether your coming or going. Your brain is switching off to protect itself. You can't be all things to all people unless you fill your own tank. Sounds like you are filling everyone's tank but your own. Step away from responsibilities and find some time for you. Be it gym, doing a. Jigsaw, going for a walk.

You sound like you're holding too much. Yes could be burnout.

Do you get outside time and exercise?

I find if I don't get enough daylight and movement my sleep goes to shit

Turn screens off before bed and read

Write down everything that's on your mind before bed so you can put your worries down. I have a pen and pad in my bedside table for this

Get blood tests. They will likely test your thyroid if you go to the Gp and say you are fatigued.

I've been diagnosed with an overactive thyroid and been overmedicated and recently experienced an underactive thyroid and the symptoms were like you have described.

Could also be burnout though.

Blood test, try and get help from the GP with sleep issues, then go from there perhaps? Great to be supportive of the sports etc but you can do that without added work of being a trustee etc. Sounds like yes, you have too much on and you may be heading towards being utterly shattered with it all.

When do you get time to yourself and time to just relax with friends? A balance is always best. Good luck with your fellowship and it's ok to stop giving so much of yourself to others, keep back some of you for a little TLC.

It could be burn out.

I have been burned out for about five years but can’t afford to stop so hey ho, here we are.

Feeling in a particularly cynical mood so I might get shot but in my darker moments I feel burnout is a bit of a luxury. Most of us don’t have the time or money for it.

Sounds just like burn out. I felt exactly the same. Normally very productive, proactive and got shit done. Hit a wall and felt like I was in a hole I couldn’t drag myself out of. Procrastinating, doom scrolling, putting things off, not caring, craving solitude, wanting to be left alone. Before anyone diagnoses depression- it wasn’t there were pockets of joy and happiness. It took me a while to feel like myself again. I didn’t relinquish any commitments, but changed a few things: stuck to a routine, automated everyday decision making like meals, forced exercise and time in nature every day. Prioritised sleep and nourishing food, listened to my body - if I didn’t want to go out I didn’t, started saying no to the non-essentials.

Be kind to yourself, it takes time to shed the bone deep exhaustion but you can do it xx