AIBU - Friend inviting adult children to meet-ups.

you need to set up a separate what's app group with the rest and arrange separate meet ups. I have had similar with a friend of mine - always brought her daughter along. we don't see each other much now . I see it happening now with my sis in law. now daughter is finished college she brings her everywhere ( she herself has managed to tag onto her own mother groups aswell so it's a theme ) or she sends her up to her mother to " help" when she knows people are coming. my husband got on to his mother last time we were there for dinner with his uncle. we were invited and turned up and there
she was. changed the dynamic..they also have managed to join the flower club with mother in law. like she is 22 🙈 mother in law has all ready commented on the fact she hasn't seen so and so nor have they returned her calls she hasn't coped why

Weird that the YA DC would want to spend time with their mums middle aged friends! My DC would hate this & push back.

This - just have another group without her

Yanbu i had a friend like this it was like the cord was still attached

This happened to me, I had a friend who had 3 kids and whenever we arranged to meet for lunch, or tea and cake or anything, she’d always bring along one or more child! Not telling me in advance, just turning up with them, either her 14 year old son, or 17 year old daughter, or the 19 year old daughter. As much as I liked the kids, it changed the whole dynamic of the meet up. Also I often wanted to treat my friend as I knew she struggled as a single mum but I wouldn’t as my finances didn’t stretch to treating the child/children too!! I eventually stop suggesting meet ups as I didn’t enjoy them

No. I’d never bring my adult children to a meet up with friends. That’s weird that she wants to.

Why on earth do they want to go.
Very odd.

Do they want to sell you something?

YANBU, it's fucking weird.
When I was married to my exH, we had a group of "couple" friends. One of the couples daughters turned 18, and they started to bring her and her bf on nights out. Then the next daughter turned 18 and she'd come along too with her bf too. It got right on my nerves, as the daughters and their boyfriends weren't particularly mature for their age either. It felt like we were socialising with kids, which is not what I want to do on a saturday night when i've arranged a babysitter.

My friend does this and sorry but yes it is really annoying and changes the dynamics completely for the rest of us.

She’s lovely but none of us want to get stuck next to her son (he’s nice enough but he’s 19 and not our friend!) so we all vie to not get stuck next to him while he is either a huge but silent presence or bores on about his 19 year old views of the world!!

Oh god no I don’t think it is normal but I went through the same with my friend. She was a fair bit older than me but we’d met through work and always got along well. My kids are 18 and 14, hers are in their 20s. Obviously never dream of bringing my kids along to coffee/ lunches etc but she just randomly started showing up with her daughters, usually just one of them but I found it a bit odd. The woman I’m friends with herself is lovely but her daughter I never really had much in common with and was basically just there to either contradict everything her mother said or talk about all her achievements… or worse talk to her mum about people they knew who I had no idea who they were talking about. It all got a bit boring for me and now her daughter has had a son I’ve gradually sort of been phased out. Fair enough, can’t say as I’m too bothered now but it upset me a bit at the time. I think it’s lovely if you wanna hang out with your adult kids, brilliant in fact but don’t assume all your friends want to! You’re right it totally changes the dynamic of the meet ups and all the conversations have a totally different direction.

I hate this

In my friendship group a few years back, one friend used to host the annual Christmas party (she loved doing it...it wasn't that the rest of us didn't offer) and we'd go and bring all the kids, who were actually school friends. They'd go off in one part of the house and we'd be in the kitchen, drinking and dancing 😄 the kids wouldn't have dreamed of clinging on to us! Such happy memories...unfortunately now, we seem to have gone our separate ways now the kids are adults. Friends for a season and all that.

@WhatTheHellsGoingOn thank you for being a nicer stranger on the Internet than my friend. Unfortunately signed up to some expensive events together in the near future, but then that is definitely it. There were other things too 😥

Yes, it may be.

Wow she’s sounds like a total tool and the fact you had asked her to talk about a very serious and personal subject which she was only half listening to was bad enough - the leaving mid-conversation to contribute to another unrelated discussion is so obviously tone deaf that she clearly doesn’t value you as a friend and I wouldn’t put myself out for if I was you. Utter wanker.

So sorry about your relative 💐

Me too. What on earth is a 19 year old lad getting out of it?!

I would just only go out with the smaller groups of 4. They all sound insufferable and I couldn’t spend time with them.

I would hate this, too. But this lady isn't going to stop bringing her kids as long as none of you are saying anything. If that's too difficult, and you don't like her anyway, I'd honestly just start a new WhatsApp group that doesn't include her.

Also imagine if you are a teacher 🙈🙈 having other people’s lumpen teens at social meet ups! Busman’s holiday.

No it’s not normal, yes it is awful, and it’s bad manners. I dropped out of seeing one friend after she constantly had her teens in tow. They are nice. But I don’t want them in my chats with my adult mates.

Odd on several levels, a) why would she invite them in the first place and b) why would they want to come.

You need to sound out the rest of the group, and if they are in agreement then you need to ask her to stop inviting them.

I'd bin the group of 8 and stick with the smaller group.
I hate it when people make their entire identity their children. They become dull. Some people come back after the kids are grown, some don't.
My Mum and my aunt grew apart due to something similar. My cousin was always there with her opinions and know it all attitude. My mum can't stand her for other reasons, but in the end it made her step back.

oh my God, I'd have to stop going. Life's too short.

This on repeat

...also... what young adults want to hang out with their mum's friends??