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My parents have become insufferable.

696 replies

PleasePleasePleaseDontProve · 15/09/2026 17:11

I am really struggling with my parents. Both are mid-sixties, retired. It seems since retirement they have become quite bigoted, insufferable and insular in their viewpoints. Every time I meet up with them conversations revolve around:

  • Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).
  • Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.
  • Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

I used to have a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father, and I’m sure he wasn’t always like this. I’m starting to dislike meeting up with them as their attitudes seem to have changed towards life and people in general, and they constantly want to discuss the latest GB News story.

Has anybody else found this has happened to their parents?

OP posts:
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8
CookingForCats · 15/09/2026 19:51

CoventryCity · 15/09/2026 19:50

You sound insufferable tbh.

Who does?

CoventryCity · 15/09/2026 19:50

You sound insufferable tbh.

Onefairfish · 15/09/2026 19:50

Sounds as if they don’t have enough to do. That’s so sad. Retirement is such a great opportunity to learn new things, get involved in local life, go places. I know I’m lucky to be well, and be able to take advantage of opportunities, but maybe try to encourage them to turn off GB news and look outwards.

strugglingwithlife · 15/09/2026 19:50

NerrSnerr · 15/09/2026 18:51

My parents are in their 70s and divorced.

My mum is like this. Racist, voted reform, would put an England flag outside if she could get up a ladder.

My dad is left wing and is the opposite. He keeps busy and speaks to real people every day and not just watching GB news and reading Facebook.

Putting up an England flag is not racist for fucks sake! 🙄

Waytoohothot · 15/09/2026 19:49

Its called getting old if you are lucky and you dont die young it will happen to you ,

LaidOnYourBackWithTheBoyWithTheArabStrap · 15/09/2026 19:47

My mum is a bit like this but a bit older. For a while I thought she had got like this as she got older (not really sure why) but actually, she’s always been a rude bigot with some very out there takes and now she’s older (70s) she doesn’t feel the need to hide her racist micro aggressions/nasty opinions about other people’s appearance/questionable moral compass.

I do get what you mean about it being insufferable. I don’t spend much time with her thank god but when I do I call her out when she’s blatantly in the wrong. And if I don’t my teenagers are more than willing to.

cornflakecrunchie · 15/09/2026 19:45

I'm getting on a bit, quite like GB news because they tell it like it is. The BBC are biased. I don't read papers, don't need their journalists telling me what to think. Guess what, @ChilliBassy - I'm a 'boomer' too. What have we ever done to you? Honestly, people pounce on the 'boomer' thing. If that means I'm well to do with a big fat pension, forget it, that was the generation before mine.
Myself & my kids discuss politics, we don't come to blows but have wildly differing views. They are oh so sorry for the poor (all male & shady looking) refugees.. well when they are my age they'll be wondering why Britain has changed so much, no way of changing it back then.
I've never voted 'left' in my life. What a shitshow Labour are. And, no, don't assume I'd vote Reform! Or the bloody Greens.. honestly, what are people THINKING?

morgan56 · 15/09/2026 19:44

Wow, I think we share the same parents?!
especially the random 💩 about neighbours / people who lives on the road… absolutely crazes me!!

CookingForCats · 15/09/2026 19:44

I have an uncle like this, he's 68. He hates Reform though, a staunch Labour supporter, and used to make rude infantile remarks about Tory women MPs and what they looked like, calling them names. He hates his next door neighbour, who is Chinese, and calls him an insulting name. He also goes on about fat people, being on benefits, tattoos and people on mobility scooters. We try and avoid him but he always does it at Christmas which is pretty much the only time we see him.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 15/09/2026 19:43

PleasePleasePleaseDontProve · 15/09/2026 17:11

I am really struggling with my parents. Both are mid-sixties, retired. It seems since retirement they have become quite bigoted, insufferable and insular in their viewpoints. Every time I meet up with them conversations revolve around:

  • Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).
  • Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.
  • Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

I used to have a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father, and I’m sure he wasn’t always like this. I’m starting to dislike meeting up with them as their attitudes seem to have changed towards life and people in general, and they constantly want to discuss the latest GB News story.

Has anybody else found this has happened to their parents?

Are you my brother? 🤣😭

Lifeomars · 15/09/2026 19:41

i'm retired and I'd rather poke my eyes out than watch GB news and all my oldie mates feel the same. I've seen the occasional clip and find it horrifying and hilarious in almost equal measure. I read, draw, garden, mix with people from a wide age range . The aches and pains of later life have been a shock to me, but the last thing i do is go on about them as i hate dwelling on the fact that I am not as nimble or as active as I used to be. There was a time I could feel tired but then would just power through it, those days have gone but I try not to whinge and moan about it. It must be hard to see one's parents change so much and horrible to listen to their petty views

Peachy2005 · 15/09/2026 19:41

Hmmm I have a range of people I have to swerve on certain subjects. My best friend has brought up immigrants and small boats 3 times in our past 3 meetings and the number that can fit on a boat grows each time. She doesn’t even live on the mainland, nor do her kids, but this is severely tormenting her and keeping her awake at night. Can’t discuss Trump, Musk, Ukraine with my DH (or apparently Djokovic) or will end up unable to stay married. Can’t discuss religion, politics, immigrants, Covid, vaccines, health, nutrition, yoga, abortion or pretty much anything of note with my DSis and one of our parents. It’s exhausting trying to keep other people off their soapboxes!!

YvieYfronts · 15/09/2026 19:40

I suspect this can happen when people’s world become smaller with retirement etc. Especially if you don’t make a conscious effort to keep busy with things that aren’t GB news or your health issues.

justasking111 · 15/09/2026 19:39

hollyjolly12 · 15/09/2026 17:26

My dad is late sixties and he now holds these same views, not sure what he was like prior to finishing work but his life is definitely more insular than it used to be. He is also an avid watcher of GB news and spends a lot of time watching videos on YouTube that follow the same theme as the points you've made. My mum tries to stay neutral/doesn't hold the same views (neither do I) but it's got to the point where she just ignores him or leaves the room so as not to cause an argument. I've noticed he also talks 'at' people rather than with them, I.e. he isn't interested in any opinions other than ones that agree with him. I feel bad describing him in this way, as he is also funny/kind/generous etc.. but I have noticed exactly what you've described surface over the last couple of years.

You've kind of described my husband and I. Good for your mum she's not infected yet.

However, I do worry about our grandchildren, the changes are so rapid now. Our children grew up with more freedom at just the right time I think the 80s and 90s. Computers and games were very basic. They didn't have phones until they were late teens. They had more fun I think.

My oldest grandson said Donald trump and Spain popped up on his school laptop this morning, did I know why. He's 11 for heavens sake.

Randomamsi · 15/09/2026 19:36

InveterateWineDrinker · 15/09/2026 17:29

They've been radicalised by GB News and the Daily Mail.

Get them referred to Prevent.

This. Radicalised by right wing media

Awkwardisfunny · 15/09/2026 19:36

UnaGatita · 15/09/2026 17:21

I’m commenting because I’m fascinated to see the replies you get.
I do wonder if the filter just isn’t in action any more. My dad has a great relationship with a number of asylum seekers who he’d class as family, but then will have a similar attitude to your parents about immigration in the next breath. It’s wearing but I’m not going to judge him harshly for his crappy comments. He’s spent years being a tolerant human being while out in public. He’s not long for this world and he’s not publicly calling for flogging and violence against anyone.

Is it not great that he supports asylum seekers? Why does it matter if he wants to reduce immigration? That doesn't automatically make you racist. Or is there more to it?

flowertoday · 15/09/2026 19:35

Not my parents but a family member who is in their late fifties. Always posting on Facebook about ' the illegals ' or people coming here on boats. Lots of pro Reform comments.
It has started to give me the rage sadly. He is a nice man but I just don't want to be in the same room as him anymore.

I know we should all be tolerant and respectful around political and of course religious beliefs. But I don't feel able to tolerate what is really racism, populism and ignorance. Which may or not be on me. It is hard when it is your family. 😌

Imisscoffee2021 · 15/09/2026 19:35

Myy mums like this, I have to stop her rants and say I didn't buy a ticket to this one woman show thanks. When I balk at her incessant immigrant/nhs litany I'm an uninformed idiot apparently. I'm informed, but there's a knack to living life without some parts of the news taking over ones entire self. It's exhausting and makes it hard to enjoy her company.

She also passes comment on people's looks, and the stories she relays about her few friends would, if you didn't know her, make you think they're her enemies. Slags them off all the time, I say ... do you even like these people? And get a surly yes obviously I do reply. Also ask her is there anything you DO like? She turns anything into a negative, it's almost funny. Almost.

Contain4 · 15/09/2026 19:35

MMUmum · 15/09/2026 19:02

Have they always thought like this but masked their opinions to be socially acceptable and now they don't care ?

Which if you’re right is absolutely shocking.

Even on MN I see casual racism quite regularly and the majority of posters tend to be women, pretty level headed and pretty educated.

The fact that it’s more socially acceptable to have these right wing views is so scary.

Piglet89 · 15/09/2026 19:32

CurlewKate · 15/09/2026 18:36

Because they are ageist. HTH.

They are NOT ageist at all: these are loads of people’s real life experiences of older parents who have changed beyond recognition as they’ve hit their older decades.

Same thing on another thread about an anti-Irish comment from an older woman.

It’s much more likely that older people will be like this than younger and it’s not ageist to say it. I am so bored of hearing this protest when it’s not the issue at hand.

Lovelyview · 15/09/2026 19:32

fishonabicycle · 15/09/2026 18:08

I'm 61, husband is 65. No danger of me watching GB news. Been a guardian reader since I was about 20!

I used to read The Guardian but good journalists like Suzanne Moore and Hadley Freeman were forced out because they wanted to report on the threat transgenderism posed to women's rights and Guardian writers started referring to women's conditions as affecting 'people' with those conditions. E.g. people with PCOS. The fact that I didn't know men were being housed in women's prisons because the news I consumed never reported it was the final straw. I do occasionally read the Guardian and the BBC but I balance it with other news sources now. I will never trust them again.

maybemaybenot17363 · 15/09/2026 19:31

Not my parents but my elderly aunt and uncle. I have to brace myself for everything they are about to say - especially around my youngest DC. They were not like this when I was young!

maybemaybenot17363 · 15/09/2026 19:31

Not my parents but my elderly aunt and uncle. I have to brace myself for everything they are about to say - especially around my youngest DC. They were not like this when I was young!

Another2Cats · 15/09/2026 19:29

Hatty65 · 15/09/2026 19:22

My Mother was not living in the UK in the 1960s. She and my father lived and worked all over the world. HTH.

So not exactly a typical 21 year old then? How many people in their twenties were living "all over the world" in the 1960s?

A rather different experience from a typical 21 year old growing up in the 1960s in say Nottingham, Derby or Gloucester for example?

Clocksgobackautumngirl · 15/09/2026 19:29

BruFord · 15/09/2026 19:22

@Clocksgobackautumngirl I just wondered. My strategy is to let it wash over me and change the subject! My Dad is nearly 90 and unwell so I try to be gentle with him, I couldn't cut him off at this stage in his life. Tbf he mainly moans about his ailments, less about politics.

Edited

Mine are in their 80s. My sister would like to NC them but I won’t let her. They are good, kind people. They are just vulnerable to that crap because they’re very old.