MIL says I “hijacked” her son because I helped my parents

DH needs to assure them that if they ever need help in the way your parents did, the two of you will support them too. But so far fortunately they are in good health.
They will very likely come round once your baby is born.Congratulations.

Of course your MIL took it out on you Op, she's jealous that her DS has a wife, children and In laws, it's plain in her wording that you'd kidnapped her DS, that's not just about the money you both spent, it's about him spending money and time on someone outside his birth family.
Be glad you found out what your MIL is really like @leonorrr , she's a nasty jealous woman who isn't to be trusted

why do all these working and comfortably off adults want more money from slightly more well of adults? its ridiculous, you helped in an emergency. No one you have described is in abject poverty, why is there such entitlement ?

Is your DH moaning about you/your parents to them?

I don’t understand why they think it’s a YOU problem and not their own child problem (well I do, it’s internalised misogyny).

They basically think you are controlling - you control the finances, you control who DH sees, you control how involved he is with his own family.

DH needs to be the one to put them right.

How often does he see his family vs how often he sees yours?

But none your in-laws were asking you for help! Are you supposed to shower them with cash just in case?
You spent a lot of money on saving your father’s life, and I’m glad it was successful. How horrible of your MIL and SIL to resent that. I’m sure you would help them if they were in need.

Your MIL is a jealous so-and-so, and very unkind to boot. I wouldn’t blame you if you went very LC with her. I can’t believe she said all this to you, either. Well, she’ll be the loser in the long run, because it always pays to keep on the right side of a DIL as she is the mother of the DGC, and I assume MIL will want to see them, and the new baby when it arrives. Your DH needs to step in and sort out the situation - he needs to leave MIL and SIL in no doubt that they’ve been outrageously unkind. It seems that they are both expecting handouts because you and DH are quite well placed - they are being vvv unreasonable.

Are you not in the UK?

Congratulations on the baby op!

When I read you're Spanish I had to reply. I live in Spain and there are so many stories of MIL jealousy, I think it's really common! My own MIL used to get jealous when my parents visited despite the fact that it was only about 2 weeks a year. I have a friend whose mum was upset because she made her MIL's gazpacho recipe rather than hers. Honestly it's exhausting! As a pp said above I feel that a certain level of enmeshment is very common.

I think that cutting someone off rarely happens in Spain I doubt your husband would do it but I do think you need to get on the same page. I think you need to make sure your husband doesn't tell his family everything (easier said than done), and when things have calmed down he needs to talk to them about their (unreasonable) expectations.

Enhorabuena y suerte

Going forward less arseholes you have to waste your time on.
Honestly it's liberating not having to pander to grown up people regarding Xmas and birthdays.
Leave the lot of them to dh amd enjoy the peace.

They're absurd! Be grateful they've took themselves off . What silly ppl . They may have had a point had they been in a similar position and you offered no support,but this is ridiculous they should be extremely grateful they have not needed the assistance you've given your parents because of unfortunate circumstances. Honestly op return the energy and don't have them back in your life's after they have gotten over their temper tantrum.

This is batshit. You did nothing wrong at all! It seems they have cut you off and to be honest they will need you before you need them considering the whole ‘you need to look after them!” Rediculous people

You are being disingenuous - you know very well that it is us, women, who make all decisions in the family, either openly or by stealth. I feel embarrassed to say this, but men are so easy to manipulate and bend to one's will. Don't get me wrong - some women don't use their power all of the time, but to pretend that it was not a wife's decision - with all this help, etc. etc. Come on, be a mensh, sorry, be a sis.

I don't understand their response but could it be jealousy more than greed. Both your parents stayed with you and your husband for 6 months after your Dad's hospital stay. Presumably it was at your house for the full 6 months rather than shared amongst the siblings.
Did that affect time spent with your MIL? She possibly didn't feel comfortable going to your home during that time what with your family, your parents, visiting siblings and their families , friends etc. Did your husband spend more time with your parents rather than with his Mum. Is his Dad still around?
Does your husband have other siblings besides his sister? I'm not defending their actions just looking at it from a different perspective.

Trash took itself out.

Personally I would just be glad not to be very ill, rather than to be jealous of help someone is getting because they're ill.

Your in-laws are foul. You did nothing wrong at all.

They are greedy and unpleasant.

I also think that it is possible your DH shares too much. I speak from experience of a similar culture to yours. There is an enmeshment here from what you have shared regarding SIL, SIL and your DH that I recognise.

You won't reason with them, nor should you even try to OP. I would pull right back now and lay off the shopping trips too. Ungrateful buggers only thinking of how they can cash in and benefit.. Fact they couldn't even congratulate you on your pregnancy is disgraceful.

Our family is the high earners of DH's siblings. We and our DS help one DN financially sometimes as they struggle with a sen child and another with medical issues so mum can only work pt. The rule is that DN never tells his parents and honestly I hope they never find out. Not because they will be greedy but because they will be embarrassed.

Your MIL is nuts.

I’d have said ‘I don’t understand. Can you explain what the problem is?’ repeatedly, to get your MIL to actually spit it out that she feels entitled to your money and time.

A

They are greedy and upset you’ve spent a lot of money on your father. Because they want it too! That’s the bones of it really. I’m surprised she said all this to you and not your husband! I would step back from them all and leave it up to your husband to facilitate between the two. If they say anything more about it then your husband needs to emphasise that the money was to help with hospital bills. Mum and dad are lucky that they are healthy right now. But would help in the future if it happened to them too. But you’re not handing out cash for no good reason! It seems a shame she would allow greed to split the family, especially when there’s a new grand baby on the way.

Totally irrational and unreasonable and insane they cut you off but I weirdly see it from their perspective too (doesn’t justify ignoring though and it’s a beef she should have with your dh not you).

My mum lives an hour away from us and my MIL get a lot of help in terms of us bringing her to hospital appointments helping out with the odd health bill etc. meanwhile mum is in and out of hospital and because of work and kids I can’t help out much. I helped mum with her health insurance recently and mum asked how I was so good at doing them, I said ah we help mil with them. This was after me letting slip that dh or I collect her from appointments. Meanwhile mum gets taxis, gets no help and when I went to the hospital they said ‘so you’re the famous daughter’. Looking at it from others’ perspective things are pretty weighted in mils favour over mum’s and I’d guess his family feel the same

Has he told his family that you would both have done exactly the same had it been one of his parents who was seriously ill and needed that help?

This is for your DH to sort out with them, not you. Besides, their son's money is also your money and vice versa.

Jesus. It's not like you have bought them holidays and expensive gifts. Ask MIL if she would rather have had a month in hospital seriously ill then 6 months of convalescence and hospital visits, just so you and your husband could treat her equally by paying the bills and taking her to hospital appointments?

I am assuming that if they did need it you would help them the same. They have been lucky enough not to. What utter arses to resent you stepping up to help when needed just because she's jealous. I suspect it's the living with you part she is most envious of. Never-ending the fact you probably weren't having the best time of it!

Is this out of nowhere or is there some history with them acting like this?

If this is out of nowhere I feel like your husband should have a sitdown with his parents and ask what is going on. Elexplain what happened and how you would have doen the same for them basically what you wrote here.

MIL is so out of line, but if this is not normal then for some closure or whatever I would like to know why my parents acted like this.