AIBU to be upset after a dog jumped at our baby?

Yeh I disagree with almost all of that (except the pack animals bit ofc) and think the sweeping conclusions you’ve drawn from one incident are frankly wild. But you’re clearly committed to them, so you do you :)

You’ve made it clear that you believe your response was 100% correct. But you posted the incident and asked for opinions, and I see the situation differently. You are free to reject my view of course, I'm not seeking to win your approval.

I understand that you perceived the dog as a threat.
I disagree that the dog jumping up automatically made it a threat, or that you responded how “any reasonable parent” would. In my view, many parents would have managed the situation differently.

I refereed to “screaming and kicking” because you said that you “screamed" at the owner and that your husband “kicked” the dog.

The owner should have intervened promptly. Equally, I can understand why someone might initially respond hesitantly when being shouted at and seeing their dog kicked, even if that hesitation was unhelpful.

I get what you're saying - But the owner of the dog is not on this thread.

Believe you me, if she were, she would be getting an earful about how she should not allow that to have happened! What she should have done better, what she needs to do in future etc

But she isnt here to talk to about her actions.

You are, so instead, people are offering advice to you about yours.

She was absolutely in the wrong, everyone agrees, no doubt about it, but she isnt on this thread so there's no point if you get me?

yeh - as covered extensively - I just think that's way too black and white/ unrealistic. It's not a reasonable/ meaningful approach to life imv for reasons discussed.

why would you try and restrain it which would mean going for the collar which is near the dogs mouth?! Sod that.

Okay, I hear you.

Based on your description, it seemed to me that the screaming and kicking were an overaction - that was your original question - risked escalating the situation and could have frightened your baby/ contributed to them developing an unhelpful fear of dogs. It also seemed to me that the owners response may have been influenced by your over-reaction to the dog.

But I wasn't there, and it may be that I am missing something in terms of how threatening/ aggressive the dog was being. I understand that you may have been frightened and of course it's natural to want to protect your baby.

The owner WAS irresponsible in this instance. They are 100% responsible for their dog’s behaviour at all times, whether it’s a highly stimulating environment or not. The dog should not have been jumping up at others, the owner failed to prevent it - they are at fault.

The OP doesn’t need to adjust her response to what happened - the owner needs to adjust theirs.

Mine absolutely would! We avoided putting them on land with a footpath through for this very reason.

Dealing with the situation calmly and tackling the owner is the right course of action. If the dog was truly attacking then fair enough, but it sounds as if there was no aggression involved, so a badly trained over exuberant animal.

Advocating hitting with wood and kicking harshly could dangerously escalate the situation in many ways, and is bad advice under the circumstances.

ok we'll have to agree to disagree that she has been extremely unpleasant.

I think if you post on AIBU you will get a range of different opinions and it's important to not equate that with being unpleasant.

There is no way to know if a dog leaping up at a baby is friendly or not and the parents have to make a split second decision to protect their baby. Ideally a dog would not be hurt, but the onus is on the dog owner.

And yes, all your comments here point to you being a terrible and irresponsible dog owner, odd to be proud of it. There are many good owners posting here though, perhaps learn from them.

Why can't dogs just be banned? It would save so much conflict and trouble, just look at this thread for an example. There would be no thread if dogs were banned

We have a farm and childrens' activity walking trail near me where dogs are totally banned. Acres of wood and trees and not a dog in sight. It's expensive but worth it. All the poor dogs I see sitting in cars barking in the car park makes you wonder where the owners heads are at. Perhaps they arrive at a childrens activity trail thinking it's a good place for dog walkies and get a rude awakening.

You said that poster "has been very unpleasant in general". I didn't see that, I saw her disagreeing with you and you responding with anger to that challenge- as you have me, accusing me of apologising for rape no less!

Everyone agrees that owners should take reasonable steps to prevent dogs from jumping up at strangers.

But the fact that some dogs can be dangerous does not mean that every instance of a dog jumping up, approaching a child, or giving them “unwanted attention” presents a serious danger, or that every dog must therefore be kept on a lead everywhere.

The comparison with children wasn’t about their capacity to cause identical injuries. It was about the unrealistic expectation that living creatures under someone’s care will never behave imperfectly, approach somebody or cause inconvenience.

What we are debating is what can reasonably be expected of owners and what constitutes a proportionate response to risk. You said the issue could be resolved simply by ensuring that dogs never give your children any “unwanted attention.” That is not a realistic standard. Requiring every dog to be restrained everywhere because an off-lead dog might occasionally approach or bother you is wholly disproportionate. And yes, very entitled, imv.

I've skimmed the thread op but yes you've made it abundantly clear, some clearly aren't reading your posts.

I love our dog. If another jumped up whilst I was holding a baby and I had no idea if was aggressive or just badly trained I'd have reacted the same. Baby's welfare first, dogs second.

Yep missed that nuance when you replied directly to me

Other people have contributed to this thread, suggesting we take some lessons in dog behaviour. They were whom I was referring to, within my post to you. Pointing it out to you that this is what we are told we should do. Maybe you haven't read those posts.

That was lucky then. But it could have made the situation escalate so much worse if it was a different dog with a more sinister intention.

If you actually sent your boot into the dog's tummy/face etc with such force that you intended to seriously injure him/her then that was probably quite a dangerous (not to mention unkind) action that could have made the situation escalate very quickly with an unknown dog.

I understand that blind panic and reflex, BUT It was a dangerous thing to have done if you were trying to protect your baby and de-escalate the situation.

Far better to stand up (you were not chained to the bench I dont think?) and walk away with baby while the other one does their best with the dog.

And of course - the owner was entirely at fault.