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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset after a dog jumped at our baby?

945 replies

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 12:14

Okay, so myself, DH and baby were at a country park the other week. Baby was getting hungry so we sat ourselves down on a park bench and got some food out. A woman was walking with her family and dog and the dog must’ve smelt the food as it suddenly
comes bounding over and is jumping at baby (who is on DH knee) to get the food. We don’t know this dog and don’t know what it's capable of. I scream at the owner that we have a baby and to get her dog under control. At this point, she’s pretty far away and is taking her time to come over. My DH then kicks the dog to get it off them as it just will not stop. The woman wasn’t particularly apologetic and seemed shocked. Did we overreact?

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:44

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/09/2026 19:40

Not at all ridiculous.

The dog was out of control - not responding to a recall, off lead in a public place.
The dog gave the people involved reasonable apprehension of injury to themselves/their child.

That constitutes an offence under the dangerous dogs act.

I will say that yelling and kicking is likely to escalate a situation more than resolve it, and standing up, lobbing any spare food, grabbing the dogs collar or firmly yelling 'SIT' would all have been better options, I would not expect non-dog owners to think of any of those, and it is the dog owners responsibility to keep their dog safe and prevent their dog harassing and potentially injuring other people.

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Exactly this. I’ve never owned dogs but I have owned other pets and I’ve always operated from the position that the people around me might not like my animals, don’t know anything about the animal, or even have an active phobia of the animal. I would never think to just put my animal on someone’s knee because I think they are adorable. I think every dog owner should assume that not everyone wants a dog jumping up at them and train them accordingly.

OP posts:
Liverpool52 · 15/09/2026 19:43

Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:38

Ok but do you understand that the dog also doesn't know who you are screaming at? It's not generally a good idea to scream around animals but I understand that you don't want to learn this and would rather be right. You are right, well done.

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Well then the owner should controll them.

Lacksie · 15/09/2026 19:43

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:37

Most people that I didn’t. And my kid loves dogs. A lot of people I’ve met are scared of dogs because they’ve been chased or jumped up at (read this Thread), not because a parent shouted to an owner to get their damn dog.

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Yes because this is mumsnet where people are very wound up about dogs.

Dogs are a fact of life. So are children. We all have to learn to live together. There's no need to be afraid just because a dog jumps-
especially if you have food, that's perfectly normal dog behaviour . If the dog was being aggressive then your reaction would have been entirely understandable. As it was you unnecessarily escalated the situation.

Yes the owner should have been in control of the dog, but dogs and their owners are not 100% perfect 100% of the time. Stuff happens despite good intentions. Same as parents. Etc. better to get a grip and not respond aggressively/ hysterically.

nomas · 15/09/2026 19:43

Ooohaaahjustalittlebit · 15/09/2026 19:25

Of course the owner needs to keep their dog under control - but I am utterly baffled why neither you nor DH stood up and held the baby out of the dogs reach. The mind boggles.

Wow, baffled and boggled, we just need bamboozled, then the trifecta will be complete.

Coldmealsadness · 15/09/2026 19:41

Absolutely NU. A kind of sickness has gripped the west regarding dogs. A human baby's safety was in question and people are more concerned about the dog. Even if the dog was friendly, people deserve to eat a picnic in peace. It really is quite simple to leash a dog and it should be done if they have crap recall and will bolt for food. Was it a shame for the dog to be kicked because it wasn't controlled by its owner? Yes. But if more people acted this way then maybe more dog owners would take care to control their dogs.

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/09/2026 19:40

StiffAsAVicar · 15/09/2026 13:24

don’t be so utterly ridiculous

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Not at all ridiculous.

The dog was out of control - not responding to a recall, off lead in a public place.
The dog gave the people involved reasonable apprehension of injury to themselves/their child.

That constitutes an offence under the dangerous dogs act.

I will say that yelling and kicking is likely to escalate a situation more than resolve it, and standing up, lobbing any spare food, grabbing the dogs collar or firmly yelling 'SIT' would all have been better options, I would not expect non-dog owners to think of any of those, and it is the dog owners responsibility to keep their dog safe and prevent their dog harassing and potentially injuring other people.

Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:39

Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:38

Ok but do you understand that the dog also doesn't know who you are screaming at? It's not generally a good idea to scream around animals but I understand that you don't want to learn this and would rather be right. You are right, well done.

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Well I am going to alert the owner to the situation. How they deal with it is on them.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:39

LeroyJenkinssss · 15/09/2026 19:30

tbh I think that you’re not going to get far with this thread now. You can tell by the poll the majority agree with you.

I’ve got a (beautiful gentle) lab and I would totally understand someone kicking him away if he was behaving that way! Tbh I would have been absolutely mortified if he’d gone up and sniffed your baby and would have apologised profusely for that. Also some dogs are incredibly bouncy and mouthy - I wouldn’t be thrilled with that type dog bounding around my baby at all, especially if it was a strangers dog.

Aw thanks for your kind response and you sound like a responsible dog owner. I agree, it’s the same small handful of people commenting to.

OP posts:
Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:38

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:23

Well I wasnt shouting to the dog, I was shouting at the owner. So the dog not being able to speak English is neither here nor there.

Edited
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Ok but do you understand that the dog also doesn't know who you are screaming at? It's not generally a good idea to scream around animals but I understand that you don't want to learn this and would rather be right. You are right, well done.

Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:37

Lacksie · 15/09/2026 19:31

Your reaction is absolutely on you. You asked if you overreacted- the answer is yes. Also it's not good for your kid, will teach them to be afraid of dogs and potentially overreact too, which may also make them less safe, not to mention causing distress. Unless the dog was being aggressive you were over the top.

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Most people that I didn’t. And my kid loves dogs. A lot of people I’ve met are scared of dogs because they’ve been chased or jumped up at (read this Thread), not because a parent shouted to an owner to get their damn dog.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:35

Vivi0 · 15/09/2026 19:32

That doesn’t explain why you didn’t stand up and take the baby from your DH though. You just remained sitting on the bench too.

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I have mobility issues and physically couldn’t.

OP posts:
Vivi0 · 15/09/2026 19:32

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:31

Sigh. As I’ve explained many times my husband was straddling a park bench. If he had stood up he would’ve had a bench between his legs and then had to remain balanced and swing the other leg over as a dog was profusely jumping up at him. Frankly, if he had stood up and been knocked over while holding the baby the responses would be ‘WeLl WhY did YoU StAnd Up WheN you knEw iT wasNt SaFe?’ And people would still be defending the dog.

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That doesn’t explain why you didn’t stand up and take the baby from your DH though. You just remained sitting on the bench too.

Lacksie · 15/09/2026 19:31

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:22

And you’re very black and white. We felt threatened, as I’ve said. We felt our baby was at risk, as I’ve said. We reacted how we reacted in a situation where we felt our baby could’ve been harmed due to someone else’s poor judgement. That’s not on us.

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Your reaction is absolutely on you. You asked if you overreacted- the answer is yes. Also it's not good for your kid, will teach them to be afraid of dogs and potentially overreact too, which may also make them less safe, not to mention causing distress. Unless the dog was being aggressive you were over the top.

Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:31

Ooohaaahjustalittlebit · 15/09/2026 19:25

Of course the owner needs to keep their dog under control - but I am utterly baffled why neither you nor DH stood up and held the baby out of the dogs reach. The mind boggles.

Sigh. As I’ve explained many times my husband was straddling a park bench. If he had stood up he would’ve had a bench between his legs and then had to remain balanced and swing the other leg over as a dog was profusely jumping up at him. Frankly, if he had stood up and been knocked over while holding the baby the responses would be ‘WeLl WhY did YoU StAnd Up WheN you knEw iT wasNt SaFe?’ And people would still be defending the dog.

OP posts:
LeroyJenkinssss · 15/09/2026 19:30

tbh I think that you’re not going to get far with this thread now. You can tell by the poll the majority agree with you.

I’ve got a (beautiful gentle) lab and I would totally understand someone kicking him away if he was behaving that way! Tbh I would have been absolutely mortified if he’d gone up and sniffed your baby and would have apologised profusely for that. Also some dogs are incredibly bouncy and mouthy - I wouldn’t be thrilled with that type dog bounding around my baby at all, especially if it was a strangers dog.

Ooohaaahjustalittlebit · 15/09/2026 19:25

Of course the owner needs to keep their dog under control - but I am utterly baffled why neither you nor DH stood up and held the baby out of the dogs reach. The mind boggles.

Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:25

TeaCupTinsel · 15/09/2026 19:11

You were entirely reasonable, it was the selfish owner that is the issue!

This is why I cannot abide being around dogs and why I can't go out for walks by myself. I am disabled and either use mobility aids or my wheelchair, depending on what my limbs are doing that particular day!

I used to be able to go to the country park near my house as there are benches on the way to get there, to stop off en route and then when you get to the park itself, again, there are strategically placed benches. It used to be really good for building my muscles in little stints with my walking frame but since the pandemic, dog owners have become so awful. There are strict signs that dogs should be on leads due to the wildlife but hardly anyone follows the rules and there have been multiple times when dogs have approached and/ or tried to jump up. Despite my spouse and I shouting at the owners to recall them as I'm very wobbly on my feet. Instead we just got a lot of verbal abuse back! And that was when I was with someone who grew up around dogs so knows how to handle them and tried to step in between.

It makes me so upset that people don't put dogs on leads, especially when they have no recall.

I hope you are all ok. You are definitely not in the wrong.

Aw thanks for your response. It’s awful
that you feel that you can’t go for walks because of out of control dogs, but I suspect you’re not alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:23

Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:19

I didn't say screaming abuse, I said screaming, which is the word you used in your OP. The dog can't speak English, it doesn't matter what words you are actually saying.

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Well I wasnt shouting to the dog, I was shouting at the owner. So the dog not being able to speak English is neither here nor there.

OP posts:
Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:22

Melsy88 · 15/09/2026 19:15

Honestly don't know if you are deliberately being argumentative or not reading the replies.
I've said the dog owner was wrong! But that doesn't mean you have to kick the dog.

I've already said that in my example it is the parents fault!! What I was trying to explain is that sometimes things happen that are not ideal and when they do, there are different ways you can deal with it.

I think kicking the dog was disproportionate. If I had got overly angry with the kid in my example, that would also be disproportionate.

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And you’re very black and white. We felt threatened, as I’ve said. We felt our baby was at risk, as I’ve said. We reacted how we reacted in a situation where we felt our baby could’ve been harmed due to someone else’s poor judgement. That’s not on us.

OP posts:
Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:19

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:15

I wasn’t screaming abuse, I had to shout because the owner was far enough away that I had to shout. I shouted ‘get your dog under control, we have a baby’, which the vast majority of people agree was a reasonable response. Frankly if she had reacted quickly to that, which any reasonable dog owner would, she would’ve hurried up and got her dog.

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I didn't say screaming abuse, I said screaming, which is the word you used in your OP. The dog can't speak English, it doesn't matter what words you are actually saying.

Melsy88 · 15/09/2026 19:16

Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:13

I just think it's a little perverse and irrational to refuse to learn anything about how to interact with dogs just because you rightly shouldn't have to interact with dogs.

Like yes, you are technically in the right and I completely agree this sort of thing should not happen and is 100% the fault of the owner but why wouldn't you want to help yourself to be able to handle these situations better? It would benefit you and reduce the risk.

Sometimes it's better to be safe than right and screaming and kicking round a dog that is actually aggressive, which this one clearly wasn't, is likely to escalate the problem.

Exactly this!

Lacksie · 15/09/2026 19:15

Melsy88 · 15/09/2026 19:15

Honestly don't know if you are deliberately being argumentative or not reading the replies.
I've said the dog owner was wrong! But that doesn't mean you have to kick the dog.

I've already said that in my example it is the parents fault!! What I was trying to explain is that sometimes things happen that are not ideal and when they do, there are different ways you can deal with it.

I think kicking the dog was disproportionate. If I had got overly angry with the kid in my example, that would also be disproportionate.

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Exactly

Original poster
KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:15

Goldensprat · 15/09/2026 19:13

I just think it's a little perverse and irrational to refuse to learn anything about how to interact with dogs just because you rightly shouldn't have to interact with dogs.

Like yes, you are technically in the right and I completely agree this sort of thing should not happen and is 100% the fault of the owner but why wouldn't you want to help yourself to be able to handle these situations better? It would benefit you and reduce the risk.

Sometimes it's better to be safe than right and screaming and kicking round a dog that is actually aggressive, which this one clearly wasn't, is likely to escalate the problem.

I wasn’t screaming abuse, I had to shout because the owner was far enough away that I had to shout. I shouted ‘get your dog under control, we have a baby’, which the vast majority of people agree was a reasonable response. Frankly if she had reacted quickly to that, which any reasonable dog owner would, she would’ve hurried up and got her dog.

OP posts:
Melsy88 · 15/09/2026 19:15

KellyK2026 · 15/09/2026 19:07

Okay, if the child came over, started jumping all over the dog and making you and your leashed dog uncomfortable (who had been minding your own business) and then you asked the parents (who were on the opposite side of wherever you were) to get their kid otherwise they might get bitten, and they didn’t move and the kid didn’t stop jumping on your dog and then the dog nipped the kid, would it be your fault or the parents? Would you support the parents reporting your dog to get it put down?

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Honestly don't know if you are deliberately being argumentative or not reading the replies.
I've said the dog owner was wrong! But that doesn't mean you have to kick the dog.

I've already said that in my example it is the parents fault!! What I was trying to explain is that sometimes things happen that are not ideal and when they do, there are different ways you can deal with it.

I think kicking the dog was disproportionate. If I had got overly angry with the kid in my example, that would also be disproportionate.

Idontlikecoffee · 15/09/2026 19:14

Absolutely ridiculous!