Unbalanced Inheritance Division

theres obviously a huge lot more to this than you’ve said.
Your parents’ would have done this knowingly… who was the executor? Did you see the will?

My dh has experienced this. Shameful of your mum and devasting as you are both grieving her loss and now the hurt she has caused when you can't ask her "why?" and can never get any closure.

My dh has not spoken to his brother or his nieces/nephews in over 10 years now and it is still just as raw.

Sorry this has happened to you, I hope you and your sister manage to get through it.

There must be some backstory.

There must be a reason, even if you don't know or don't want to admit what it is.

I can see why you are disappointed, but your parents obviously had their reasons and their wishes should be respected.

Your sister has every right to keep the money your parents wanted her to have. You have every right to cut her off if you want to and she can do the same to you if she wants to.

It's very easy to tell us how generous you would have been if it had been the other way round, because you are never going to be tested on it. Your claim does not place any obligation on your sister.

Be grateful for what you did get, which is a bigger windfall than many people will ever get.

OP I would feel the same as you, and on the face of it without a reason I would walk away from your sister as I’d not be able to overcome the unfairness. I know my sisters would balance with me if the same happened.

That being said I would give your sister one last chance to explain why. Could it be that she helped them more in older age? Did you visit them as often as she did?

Sorry you’re in this position.

Firstly, it's very easy to hypothetically give away a large chunk of money, much harder to actually do it when it's your money. OP is basically asking her sister to give her £40K.

Secondly, I suspect there is a reason OP's parents decided to split their estate like this. I believe OP when she says she doesn't know what reason, but there must be an underlying reason (reasonable or otherwise) for her parents to have done this.

Finally, it was her parents' choice to split it that way, and it's reasonable and legal to respect those wishes.

Barring any family rifts or criminal enterprise and assuming a close and nurturing family relationship, I think anything other than an equal split is abhorrent.

You aren’t grabby at all, although frankly I would be if my parents divided their estate in such a manner that offers fuck all explanation as to why I was considered less deserving than my sibling!

Im so sorry OP, this must hurt deeply. I wish you the best.

I’m sorry that your parents did this. Is there really no reason at all you can think of? One of my brothers is likely to get more than me and the other brother because he’s a complete fuck up and my mother likes nothing more than acting lady bountiful with him and no doubt she’ll continue to reward his incompetence long after her death.

It can make a massive difference to people

It's utterly devastating to be on the receiving end of this.
You will never be the same person.

I'm sorry.

Entitled, how?

It’s their wishes. Can’t stand grabby people when it comes to inheritance

So this came as a total shock to you? That is bizarre.

My mother hates my guts and I doubt I will be getting a penny from her estate, but it definitely won’t be remotely surprising when it happens.

Very unusual.

I believe her

In similar circumstances I varied the will with no implications for me.

her sister could fix it.

Whenever inheritance comes up on here the general consensus is you're not entitled to anyone's money, that it's nice if you get it, but it's no ones responsibility to give it. There must be some reason that the parents did what they did. It is absolutely not the sisters responsibility to correct this - it might not be incorrect, there may well be good reason. I just think it comes across as shooting the messenger. I would probably gift money or do this deed of variation (I don't know about the workings of that). But if someone told me that they would cut ties with me if I didn't, then I think I'd be inclined not to, simply because they were letting money cloud their feelings for me, in the same way that some posters are accusing the sister of doing. There simply must be more to this than we know.

I’m so sorry it feels like a rejection on top of your grief. Your sister doesn’t want to even it out because that’s the person she is and it’s no reflection on you. You put that 40K into a mortgage as it still is a sizable chunk.

Who have been cruel and unfair, with no reason given.

That's a really shitty thing for your parents to have done, particularly with no explanation or rationale for their decision to treat one daughter so much more favourably than the other.

Your sister has inheritated an amount which is four times the amount of your inheritance which, if there isn't a back story to explain this, is a horrible thing for them to do.

Well, that is still up to the parents though.

Did your parents make their Wills with a solicitor? If so, any decent solicitor would have asked them why the discrepancy and made a note of what they said (used to be a Wills and Probate Secretary, general Legal Secretary before that elsewhere) - the solicitors always made a note of why there was a discrepancy in case of a case being brought against the estate.

If you really don't know why this has happened and there was a solicitor involved, ask them to go check back on the file as to what was said - it might not be easy but might help you understand what your parents chose this.

I'm also speaking as a parent (not that that is important) and agree its poor behaviour by OPs parents (largely because they haven't said why they did this). But, the only thing we know for certain is that the will was split 20/80. We don't know why and neither does the OP apparently.

As pp have said, they might have owed the sister money, felt they'd given OP more than her sibling etc etc

There could be any number of reasons and it doesn't look like the OP is going to be back to tell us.

I imagine there's a back story. For example, did your sister give them a substantial amount of money or subsidise their income?

If you really don't know or can't think of a reason, that's very odd.

After my dad died I discovered that,years ago, he'd given my sister £10,000 for a house deposit. She didn't request it, he just gave it to her. She and my mum both assumed he'd done the same for me.

My mum immediately gave me the money (plus interest) as soon as she realised. However it felt horrible as he was no longer around to explain. He was usually a really fair person so it was inexplicable.

I don’t believe that there’s not a reason or backstory here