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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unbalanced Inheritance Division

265 replies

Stilson · 15/09/2026 09:26

I'll keep it brief, my parents both died some time ago, and I can't get over this.

The estate was split with 20% going to me and 80% to my sister. She gets £160k I get £40k.

Both about the same age, both been a part of the family equally, she is wealthier than me by a large margin.

I want to cut all ties as she refuses to balance out the amounts, even a 60:40 split.

We're it the other way round I would be uncomfortable with the settlements and would rectify it, she won't.

AIBU?

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 15/09/2026 09:45

Is there some backstory or reason? (E.g the 80% 'she' got is split between her and her children, or she was left the house because her name was on it for some reason, or your parents had previously gifted you lump sums that were taken into account).

On the face of it, it seems unfair, but I'm inclined to think there might be a backstory that means it's not as unfair as it seems.

Tel12 · 15/09/2026 09:42

There's a reason for their actions. Rifts? Past wrongs addressed? Have you discussed their rationale with your sister? What was the will drafted? And pressure exerted late in life?

Grollsch · 15/09/2026 09:40

SeptemberRains · 15/09/2026 09:35

My father died many years ago, my mother died 10 years ago.
In her will my youngest brother got half of her estate, the remaining 5 siblings shared the other half - so he got 50% and we got 10%.
None of us fell out over it, we all are on very good terms and love each other.
It's completely up to you how you want to react.

You must have felt that it was fair for him to get more?

MyAgileUser · 15/09/2026 09:39

There has to be mire to it OP. What’s your sister’s side of the story.

ladykale · 15/09/2026 09:39

wendywoopywoo222 · 15/09/2026 09:32

It is hurtful but it’s your parents decision not your sisters fault.

Do you have any theories about why they chose to do it?

Sorry to everyone saying move on - I would balance it out with my siblings if I felt my parents had done something manifestly unfair

However, if she’s a lot wealthier than you, are you sure she hasn’t been giving them money over the years, and this isn’t their way of paying her back? That’s the most logical explanation

Grollsch · 15/09/2026 09:38

No it’s not your sister’s fault, but equally it’s completely in her power to rectify the situation. Unfortunately money is extremely corrupting and it takes a big person to be unselfish in a situation like this.

As for what you do next, do what you need to do. If there was some cast iron reason why her getting more was necessary (eg she has significant health problems or you have a gambling/drug problem) then I wouldn’t think badly of her. If she’s simply keeping it all because your parents preferred her and she can, well she has the right to do that and you have the right to think she’s not a good person.

WinWhenTheyreSinging · 15/09/2026 09:37

wendywoopywoo222 · 15/09/2026 09:32

It is hurtful but it’s your parents decision not your sisters fault.

But, in the absence of any back story, it’s a patently unfair decision which she could rectify. It would almost certainly wreck my relationship with her in the OP’s position.

Pherian · 15/09/2026 09:36

Stilson · 15/09/2026 09:26

I'll keep it brief, my parents both died some time ago, and I can't get over this.

The estate was split with 20% going to me and 80% to my sister. She gets £160k I get £40k.

Both about the same age, both been a part of the family equally, she is wealthier than me by a large margin.

I want to cut all ties as she refuses to balance out the amounts, even a 60:40 split.

We're it the other way round I would be uncomfortable with the settlements and would rectify it, she won't.

AIBU?

As upsetting as it is, your sisters financial situation is no correlation to your inheritance gap. Unfortunately, people choose what they do with their will and you can't really do much about it. £40K is still a chunk of change and if you do the right thing with it you can multiply that substantially.

CostcoFanofThree · 15/09/2026 09:35

Does she have children and you not? Was the split explained?

SeptemberRains · 15/09/2026 09:35

My father died many years ago, my mother died 10 years ago.
In her will my youngest brother got half of her estate, the remaining 5 siblings shared the other half - so he got 50% and we got 10%.
None of us fell out over it, we all are on very good terms and love each other.
It's completely up to you how you want to react.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 15/09/2026 09:34

DefinitelyMaybe26 · 15/09/2026 09:33

How long ago was it? What do you think the reason was? Did your parents discuss the will with you before they died?

This, was it a surprise to you?

DefinitelyMaybe26 · 15/09/2026 09:33

How long ago was it? What do you think the reason was? Did your parents discuss the will with you before they died?

wendywoopywoo222 · 15/09/2026 09:32

It is hurtful but it’s your parents decision not your sisters fault.

TallSturdyGirls · 15/09/2026 09:30

I'm sorry that happen to you. That would be very hurtful. Do you know why your parents chose to do this?

Catza · 15/09/2026 09:29

If you want to cut ties, then you can do that. It's not going to fix your financial position either way.