I met the most amazing man. Gentle, calm, sweet. My nervous system felt safe around him. After a few months I raised that he wasn’t very affectionate/sexual and I am, and it was making me feel a bit unwanted. I felt like a friend more than a partner. I wanted us to discuss it. He’s never had a relationship before (he’s 35) and is very reserved. He said he didn’t know how to show more affection in a way that felt natural to him.
we ended up agreeing to breakup. The next day I went on holiday with my kids. We didn’t talk for a few days. I realised I missed him and was being stupid, I had the most perfect man and surely love is more important than having more affection? So I messaged him to see if we could talk.
the next couple of weeks was back and forth but we arranged to meet and talk. I found his messages distant and cold but he is very reserved so that’s probably not how he meant to come across. At times I got annoyed and upset and sent long paragraphs like an idiot. He told me he wanted to fix it, that he cared about me etc.
it’s been a month since the initial split. But only a week since we were supposed to meet and talk. we didn’t meet because we ended up almost arguing over how he was coming across as unbothered. He said he felt it was best to end the relationship.
the last week I’ve been trying to fix it, suggesting to meet, explaining how I feel, giving him space, and he has now said he doesn’t think we can pick up where we left off.
theres 100% not another woman, he’s not the type. I’m his first ever girlfriend, the only thing I’m sure of is that there’s no other woman.
this is gonna be the nice guy I should’ve stayed with isn’t it?
he said as time went on he realised it couldn’t be fixed because of the way it was handled, he said he’d handled it badly and regretted it. He knows how hurt I am. The initial problem of affection is pretty much not an issue is it, it’s now how unbothered he comes across.
im heartbroken. His last message was simply “that’s a sweet message. But I don’t think we can pick up where we left off, I’m sorry.”.
ive asked why. He hasn’t replied.
im utterly devastated. If we had actually talked I’m sure it could have been resolved.
im a talker, i will talk and talk until its fixed. He’s more reserved and avoids conflict.
I get anxious with the silence so rush to fill it.
130am and can’t sleep as anxious about what he’ll say next. I told him in my message that I’d missed him etc, I didn’t get any reply to that bit. If he told me his feelings had gone it would hurt but at least I’d know