Granddaughter’s rage over graduation plans.

No she can't. By the time the granddaughter kicked off they couldn't get their money back

Spoilt brat!

YourGoldLurker

Yes, whatever she is called, she sounds amazing.

Thanks and apologies. I'm out of date.

How is this helpful?!

Can you unbook the flat? Get your money or at lrast some of it back?? Im so sorry this has happened. Your DGD is a spoed little madam who at 21 is not a child and should know how to behave better. I would send her a congratulations card and leave it at that.

Hope you have a lovely time in Oxford whatever happens

The disappointment with a 2.1 not a first is understandable if aiming for the bar as statistically those with a first more likely to get one of the very few pupillages. But then again being an Oxbridge graduate massively scews her odds. The bar council publishes a report which has very detailed statistics if you are interested Op (you come across very educated and supportive)

Nothing excuses her appalling treatment of you though. Will you please update how things go with graduation.

https://www.legalfutures.co.uk/latest-news/most-pupil-barristers-still-coming-from-oxbridge

Don't think anything necessarily needs to be bubbling over. I don't see anything that excuses the behaviour of the granddaughter

Booking accommodation and trying to coordinate family travel with good intentions, only to get yelled at, is deeply ungrateful. Heavy family stress bubbling over.

Let's bonfire it - along with passive aggressive and narcissist.

I don't mind them when used properly, but they have leached out into common parlance to mean, respectively, a self-righteousness about being selfish, someone daring to behave off-script ,and the term for a person who does things that annoy you.

8 at some venues with the ou. Not the venue I graduated from though. No screen at any venue I got my degrees at but nothing stopping from family meeting later on

As others have said. although it's very common for each graduate to be limited to 2 tickets for the actual degree ceremony, most universities have a separate area in which other relatives/friends can watch the ceremony onscreen. Therefore, additional guests commonly attend in this way and then all go off to a meal together.

I've no idea what's caused the granddaughter to throw a wobbler - but I'm now invested enough to want to know.

I think she's a gran even if technically not by blood

I still don't think this excuses the radio silence. When I graduated last year from the minute I booked my graduation I was told how many tickets I could have. Even if the grandparents couldn't be there they could surely meet the family after. Even for a quick drink in the pub.

The OP was asked to book accommodation and is now being ignored. That is crap in my view

A little off topic - I'm so fecking tired of the word "boundaries". 😂

@YourGoldLurker Because the granddaughter hadn’t cottoned on? Obviously grandma didn’t know tickets were limited but it’s normal that they are. No idea why DGD didn’t know this because she will have had to book tickets. Maybe she’s forgotten to do this?
@ProfessoressaSazzasez As a mum of an August birthday DD, I know they are young. We also knew nothing about law and DD is now a barrister.

The problem with this career is supporting yourself while you study for the BPTC and during pupillage. That’s why she needs to apply for scholarships. She should know all this from the careers service at Oxford and other grads will have done this. The usual route for barristers is to be a judicial assistant but it’s worth having a chat about plans because even when dc get pupillage, earnings can be low. As they are for criminal barristers too. It can take years to earn decent money so career goals usually do need discussion. This isn’t necessarily for you to do but I’m just giving you a heads up.

Fingers crossed! Sorry didn't mean to add another layer of drama

You're not abandoning her, you're simply not going to her graduation. Don't be too harsh with yourself. I think maybe the thought of her mum not being able to make it has tipped her over the edge. You sound very lovely and generous.

youve set an excellent example of how to deal with a difficult situation in a mature way- been civil, communicated on the issue, not got overly emotional. she is still young and has a lot to learn. hopefully this all gets resolved soon.

You sound like an amazing step-grandma. Xxxxx

This is so level-headed OP,

I despair at all the hot air on here which is essentially adult tantrum-throwing dressed up as "boundaries." Big words don't turn something childish into something grown-up.

Re the masters, it isn't the worst idea if she is thinking of it. Having a specialism can help you into chambers or a law firm working in an area that particularly interests you. As for "cracking on with a career", a year or two is nothing when looking back.

So sorry.

Perfect. (Not a bit stiff, but appropriately matter of fact)
I’m appalled you have had to do it, as it is distressing for you. Still, I’m really pleased you have told them you will both be having a jolly old jaunt to Oxford regardless, and that’s that.

Imagine how the female dons in DLS’ Gaudy Night would have regarded such behaviour.
Still, I’m horribly fascinated, and hope young Rumpola will hurry up and explain herself.

This is perfect IMO. Not snotty at all. It’s gently firm, clear and welcoming, in that you say they’re welcome to stay. You don’t sound angry, you sound calm and thoughtful. Everything you said is what I’d have said.