To think menopause intolerance is destroying my frienships 😬

Hereinmyarms · 2026-09-14T16:30:15+00:00

Just as per title- It’s like the rose tinted (oestrogen) glasses have been taken off and my tolerance for a lot of the people in my life is zero. I sat in the pub on Saturday listening to a friend of 30 years rant at me without even asking me how I am for 2 hours. And thought- why the fuck am I still friends with you!? 😬 I left a what’s app group recently as had had enough of the nonsense - I am going to end up with no friends left at this rate. Everyone irritates me. I also read a book about people pleasing recently and realised I am a terrible people pleaser. But I don’t want to lose all my friends so anyone got any advice? And I am on HRT!!!

cauliflowercheesey · 14/09/2026 17:45

Well, I’m sure somebody who can identify more closely with your situation will be along shortly to give experienced advice. But for what it’s worth, I’d suggest deliberately trying to cultivate mindful compassion, towards yourself, and towards others.
“My friends are boring and self-absorbed sometimes… and so am I …. and it’s okay … we’re all human together… we can still keep each other company in this life … none of us need to be perfect … and I’m glad about that …”

… something like that!!

SunnyKhakiMaker · 14/09/2026 17:51

I felt similar when I stopped drinking, I couldn't mask or feign polite interest in anyone's stories about their kids job, house renovation etc. So I switched the style of my interactions, became a 'doing things' person, a shared activity stops a lot of personal chat and can actually bring out the best in a friendship. I still shudder when someone says 'we must meet to catch up'. Nope!

Wishimaywishimight · 14/09/2026 18:27

cauliflowercheesey · 14/09/2026 17:45

Well, I’m sure somebody who can identify more closely with your situation will be along shortly to give experienced advice. But for what it’s worth, I’d suggest deliberately trying to cultivate mindful compassion, towards yourself, and towards others.
“My friends are boring and self-absorbed sometimes… and so am I …. and it’s okay … we’re all human together… we can still keep each other company in this life … none of us need to be perfect … and I’m glad about that …”

… something like that!!

I think this is great advice!

OsfameronTanamoril · 14/09/2026 18:35

Wishimaywishimight · 14/09/2026 18:27

I think this is great advice!

Show quote history

The only advice really. Sometimes I shudder at how boring I am.

Original poster

Hereinmyarms · 14/09/2026 18:41

cauliflowercheesey · 14/09/2026 17:45

Well, I’m sure somebody who can identify more closely with your situation will be along shortly to give experienced advice. But for what it’s worth, I’d suggest deliberately trying to cultivate mindful compassion, towards yourself, and towards others.
“My friends are boring and self-absorbed sometimes… and so am I …. and it’s okay … we’re all human together… we can still keep each other company in this life … none of us need to be perfect … and I’m glad about that …”

… something like that!!

It is good advice- it’s just menopause has made me irritable and intolerant and barely able to recognise myself most of the time!

OP posts:

OsfameronTanamoril · 14/09/2026 18:42

Doing an activity or watching a play or a movie might be good too.

Elieza · 14/09/2026 20:16

i’ve got bugger all patience left for stupidity.
i can’t be bothered with people messing about when they need to just get on with xyz. and will tell them so. bluntly.

i will likely end up nae mates as thwy will be fed up with me lol! 😜

SerenaCat93 · 14/09/2026 20:19

Well it sounds like they annoy you and you're finding excuses not to listen to them anymore do maybe it's a good thing. You can't blame menopause for everything and then moan that you've got no friends left.

Eumaybe · 14/09/2026 21:12

cauliflowercheesey · 14/09/2026 17:45

Well, I’m sure somebody who can identify more closely with your situation will be along shortly to give experienced advice. But for what it’s worth, I’d suggest deliberately trying to cultivate mindful compassion, towards yourself, and towards others.
“My friends are boring and self-absorbed sometimes… and so am I …. and it’s okay … we’re all human together… we can still keep each other company in this life … none of us need to be perfect … and I’m glad about that …”

… something like that!!

I love this! Thank you