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AIBU?

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AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?

205 replies

Emily3325 · 14/09/2026 16:38

I feel like lately absolutely everything that happens in schools is being viewed through the lens of SEN. For context I’ve worked in education for over a decade across settings and provisions.

A child is naughty in class - SEN.
A child cries at playtime - SEN.

A child struggles with something, immediately we’re looking at what additional provision they might need.
And don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that some children genuinely have additional needs and absolutely need support and reasonable adjustments. That’s not what I’m arguing against.
What I’m finding frustrating is that it feels like we’re getting to the point where normal childhood behaviour is being treated as evidence that something must be wrong.
The recent DfE announcement about changes to school food standards is a good example. Almost immediately, the discussion seems to become “but what about SEN children who won’t eat those foods?”
Obviously there are children with genuine sensory or medical needs who will need individual arrangements. But surely we can have healthier expectations for children generally while making appropriate exceptions for those who genuinely need them?
And I think it’s actually becoming a problem for everyone.
My partner teaches a class of 30. There is one child who is constantly extremely disruptive — we’re talking about repeatedly slamming doors hard enough to crack the glass in the door.
The parents believe he has ADHD, but he doesn’t have a diagnosis. The school has tried to work with them and has discussed whether the child could access the school’s resource hub, but the parents feel that doing so would be discriminatory. They also don’t want to pursue a diagnosis or come into school to work with the school on a plan.
I’m not saying the child doesn’t have additional needs. He might. I don’t know.
But while everyone is arguing about whether he has SEN, 29 other children are having their lessons repeatedly disrupted.
And that’s not fair on them either.
It’s not fair on the teacher.
And actually, it’s not fair on the child himself, because he’s clearly struggling and isn’t getting an effective solution either.
That’s what I find so frustrating. Everyone loses.
The children who don’t have SEN lose learning time.
Children who genuinely do have SEN can struggle to get the specialist support they need because resources are stretched.
Teachers are expected to somehow manage increasingly complex needs in mainstream classrooms.
And children who are struggling can end up stuck without appropriate support because nobody seems willing to make a decision until there’s a diagnosis.
I also think we’ve got to be careful about lowering expectations in the name of inclusion.
Sometimes a child is genuinely unable to do something because of a disability and absolutely needs an adjustment.
But sometimes a child is just upset.
Sometimes they’re being naughty.
Sometimes they don’t like the school dinner.
Sometimes they have to learn that they can’t always get their own way.
Not every difficult moment needs an SEN explanation.
And I honestly think we’ve reached a point where we’re doing all children a disservice by treating everything this way.
AIBU?

OP posts:
MyPolitePeachSloth · 14/09/2026 19:39

I am a SEN teacher and we understand that not all of the behaviour is because they are SEN. Obviously every single child in my classes has adjustments made for their need however some of their behaviour is chosen, and sometimes it is very hard to tell the difference!
We are also seeing much higher need than we used to and the children we used to see are being forced to stay at mainstream, which doesn’t help anyone.
We need more SEN schools than ever before but that costs money and the government would rather see children suffer unable to cope in mainstream and therefore their whole class than spend money!
Having said that a lot of the strategies we use can be applied to everyone and would not affect non SEN children in a negative way and may actually help them.

Weirdpig · 14/09/2026 19:27

Chilltme · 14/09/2026 19:16

A big part of it is shitty parents. The one disruptive kid who caused the class to be evacuated in DC1s class had alcoholic parents. The poor kid was ruined in the womb and never stood a chance. Now he’s everyone else’s problem and the parents blame the school.

Whilst I don't disagree with your assessment of the parenting, the child probably has FAS, so is a poor example of just naughty etc.

Weirdpig · 14/09/2026 19:25

Part of the issue with this approach is that it takes a long time to get a diagnosis. So how can you tell who has undiagnosed SEN and who doesn't have SEN and is naughty/just upset etc?

My DD has 3 different diagnoses, but if we hadn't gone privately, she'd probably have had none at this point (11) because the wheels haven't come off completely and she'd just be on a waiting list. Each time we/her school have thought we've identified another potential diagnosis, the school has treated her as having that issue while we went through the diagnosis. That's the kind thing to do and has maximised her chances of success at school.

What you have described, a child with potential SEN but parents who don't want to pursue it, is so far from the experience of most SEN parents, who are begging for support and diagnosis. I don't really understand what your point is with that example.

Chilltme · 14/09/2026 19:16

A big part of it is shitty parents. The one disruptive kid who caused the class to be evacuated in DC1s class had alcoholic parents. The poor kid was ruined in the womb and never stood a chance. Now he’s everyone else’s problem and the parents blame the school.

Emily3325 · 14/09/2026 19:12

These are the comments I’m seeing a lot of, I meant to add them at the time of posting

AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?
AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?
OP posts: