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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think not every school issue should be labelled SEN?

205 replies

Emily3325 · 14/09/2026 16:38

I feel like lately absolutely everything that happens in schools is being viewed through the lens of SEN. For context I’ve worked in education for over a decade across settings and provisions.

A child is naughty in class - SEN.
A child cries at playtime - SEN.

A child struggles with something, immediately we’re looking at what additional provision they might need.
And don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that some children genuinely have additional needs and absolutely need support and reasonable adjustments. That’s not what I’m arguing against.
What I’m finding frustrating is that it feels like we’re getting to the point where normal childhood behaviour is being treated as evidence that something must be wrong.
The recent DfE announcement about changes to school food standards is a good example. Almost immediately, the discussion seems to become “but what about SEN children who won’t eat those foods?”
Obviously there are children with genuine sensory or medical needs who will need individual arrangements. But surely we can have healthier expectations for children generally while making appropriate exceptions for those who genuinely need them?
And I think it’s actually becoming a problem for everyone.
My partner teaches a class of 30. There is one child who is constantly extremely disruptive — we’re talking about repeatedly slamming doors hard enough to crack the glass in the door.
The parents believe he has ADHD, but he doesn’t have a diagnosis. The school has tried to work with them and has discussed whether the child could access the school’s resource hub, but the parents feel that doing so would be discriminatory. They also don’t want to pursue a diagnosis or come into school to work with the school on a plan.
I’m not saying the child doesn’t have additional needs. He might. I don’t know.
But while everyone is arguing about whether he has SEN, 29 other children are having their lessons repeatedly disrupted.
And that’s not fair on them either.
It’s not fair on the teacher.
And actually, it’s not fair on the child himself, because he’s clearly struggling and isn’t getting an effective solution either.
That’s what I find so frustrating. Everyone loses.
The children who don’t have SEN lose learning time.
Children who genuinely do have SEN can struggle to get the specialist support they need because resources are stretched.
Teachers are expected to somehow manage increasingly complex needs in mainstream classrooms.
And children who are struggling can end up stuck without appropriate support because nobody seems willing to make a decision until there’s a diagnosis.
I also think we’ve got to be careful about lowering expectations in the name of inclusion.
Sometimes a child is genuinely unable to do something because of a disability and absolutely needs an adjustment.
But sometimes a child is just upset.
Sometimes they’re being naughty.
Sometimes they don’t like the school dinner.
Sometimes they have to learn that they can’t always get their own way.
Not every difficult moment needs an SEN explanation.
And I honestly think we’ve reached a point where we’re doing all children a disservice by treating everything this way.
AIBU?

OP posts:
JLou08 · 15/09/2026 21:32

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 21:09

You know for a fact not a single child enjoys playing the class clown? I had a child last year, we did everything recommended, he was assessed, interventions put into place, etc Genuinely across a handful of adults we must have spent 50+ hours just working with this child. Nothing SEN wise found. When asked why he was behaving like this “it’s funny when I get shouted at and the class laugh”

What do you mean when you say nothing SEN found? How is it found and what exactly is it you find to say it is or isn't SEN?

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 21:09

coupleofspuds · 15/09/2026 20:09

yea of course they just enjoy being disruptive. 🙄

You know for a fact not a single child enjoys playing the class clown? I had a child last year, we did everything recommended, he was assessed, interventions put into place, etc Genuinely across a handful of adults we must have spent 50+ hours just working with this child. Nothing SEN wise found. When asked why he was behaving like this “it’s funny when I get shouted at and the class laugh”

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 15/09/2026 20:38

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:19

I think this is very true.

Academic demands are also much much higher in school, from a very early age. School stops being any fun at all by Y4. Some kids can’t handle this without SEN.

my y5 child is doing maths that was on my gcse paper (the early easier pages, but still….)

It is so much harder. My daughter has just sat the 11+ - which is supossed to be year 6 and early year 7 content, taken at very start of year 6. I got all A's at GCSE and A level and there were some bits of her 11+ practice papers which I found super tough.

coupleofspuds · 15/09/2026 20:09

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 19:25

I disagree, sometimes yes there’s undiagnosed needs. Other times a child just genuinely enjoys being disruptive

yea of course they just enjoy being disruptive. 🙄

goldenpanda · 15/09/2026 19:46

I think it’s unfortunate that lots of disruptive behaviour can be down to chaotic home lives in children with no other additional physical or developmental needs.

But what can schools or teachers do about that? They can’t order the parents to provide a more stable home.

I do think there needs to be an understanding that SEN or not, some behaviours can’t be allowed to continue in a mainstream school to the detriment of all others, and more schools are needed to deal in a more specialist way with these behaviours and protect everybody else from them.

I think it’s well known that one of the benefits of paying for private school is simply to pay for the privilege of almost guaranteeing your child is not in the same class as the most disruptive children that you might get in comprehensives.

goldenpanda · 15/09/2026 19:40

ArseSkinForAFriend · 14/09/2026 21:20

Completely missing the point but how does toughened safety glass break because the door was slammed?

No idea but I’ve seen this done and the glass of the door shattered. Impressive strength slamming it.

I don’t understand it, but I know for a fact it happened because I saw it with my own eyes.

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 19:25

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:01

SEN isn't a diagnosis, it's just an abbreviation for special educational needs, the D sometimes used is for those who have a diagnosed disability. If a child is disrupting every lesson then it seems pretty obvious to me they have special educational needs, otherwise they would be able to access the curriculum without additional support. It doesn't matter what causes those needs, well it does in a way, but the cause of them doesn't mean the child is more or less worthy of support.

I disagree, sometimes yes there’s undiagnosed needs. Other times a child just genuinely enjoys being disruptive

OP posts:
menopausalfart · 15/09/2026 19:20

There may well be a lot of instances where it seems everything is seen as special needs but that doesn't mean the child will be diagnosed. It takes a lot of evidence for a person to get an official diagnosis.

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:11

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

One of my brothers was. He's autistic and also had some serious health problems as a baby requiring surgery. He was significantly delayed for the first few years in primary school and had a statement but once he caught up with speech and language he quickly caught up with everything else. He really excelled once he got to secondary school.

JLou08 · 15/09/2026 19:01

SEN isn't a diagnosis, it's just an abbreviation for special educational needs, the D sometimes used is for those who have a diagnosed disability. If a child is disrupting every lesson then it seems pretty obvious to me they have special educational needs, otherwise they would be able to access the curriculum without additional support. It doesn't matter what causes those needs, well it does in a way, but the cause of them doesn't mean the child is more or less worthy of support.

YesIKnowThatThankyou · 15/09/2026 18:46

Join a union.
Don’t lie in forms (it’s bullying to ask you to do so)
Don’t sit with the kid at lunch (quote directed time and staff H&S laws)
The entitled attitude of parents has to stop it’s a disgrace.
Teacher with 20+ years experience (still employed).

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:25

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

That doesn’t mean it can’t and doesn’t happen. It can and it does.

It isn’t rare. It is common enough that IPSEA has a page about DC being removed from the SEN register.

Emily3325 · 15/09/2026 18:24

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:14

Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them.

That isn’t true. A child can be removed from the SEN register.

Never in mine or my partners career (combined 20+ years) have either of us seen this

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 15/09/2026 18:23

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:19

I think this is very true.

Academic demands are also much much higher in school, from a very early age. School stops being any fun at all by Y4. Some kids can’t handle this without SEN.

my y5 child is doing maths that was on my gcse paper (the early easier pages, but still….)

Mine is in Year 6 and it is just SATs, SATs, SATs. He's had enough already.

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:20

PensionPTake · 15/09/2026 16:32

Where are you? Government stats for England in 2026 say 14.8% of CYP are on send support and 6% have an EHCP, so 20.8%.

Overall the amount of send children hasn't actually risen that much over the years and are still lower now than in 2010

Thank you for this reality check

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:19

Chanberry · 15/09/2026 16:17

The world has changed and continues to change. It's not just children who are less able to cope; it's adults, too. More people, especially women, on antidepressants than ever. The UK is getting much busier, noisier and more overstimulating. Autistic people who could've muddled through in the past are now finding that they are in crisis and seek help.

I think this is very true.

Academic demands are also much much higher in school, from a very early age. School stops being any fun at all by Y4. Some kids can’t handle this without SEN.

my y5 child is doing maths that was on my gcse paper (the early easier pages, but still….)

WhatNextImScared · 15/09/2026 18:17

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:56

Someone I knew quite well was experiencing terrible behaviour from one of her daughters. Think the kid must have been about 9 or 10. All she did was shout and scream at her and she was also a selfish individual who, whilst she loved her kids put herself first and foremost in their lives together. Anyway the disruptive kid was assessed and finally given a label. She posted online “Get in!!!” ie she was thrilled to bits to be absolved of any blame in any way for her daughter’s behaviour which meant she could go back to scrolling on Tinder and shouting.

But this would not have been the basis of the diagnosis. They would have been assessed by a professional. The mum could also be utterly shit. Both things can be true.

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 18:14

Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them.

That isn’t true. A child can be removed from the SEN register.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 15/09/2026 18:00

@roaringdragon Yes. The Warnock report did say 20% but it was qualified “at some time in their educational career”. That’s entirely different from 20% from age 3 to 18. Once a dc is labelled the label never leaves them. The Warnock report didn’t envisage that.

roaringdragon · 15/09/2026 17:44

There hasn’t been such a big increase in the rate of SEN as some would like people to believe. The most recent statistics released this year show 20.8% of pupils have SEN. These statistics are based on census data schools submit. In 2010, it was 20.9% or 21.1% (depending on which statistics you look at - I think it is a rounding issue adding up SA, SA+ and SSEN). In 2005, it was 18%. Going back several decades to the Warnock report in 1978, “some 20% appeared to need some form of special educational help. This may even be an underestimate…”

We hardly saw a private Ed psych report and when we did they were not very accurate. Now it’s a huge industry and they find something SEN about every child they see.

This might be your limited experience, but it is not the national picture. Independent EP assessments have existed for a very long time. Well before EHCPs existed. They weren’t rare. For example, it was very common for parents appealing SSSENs to seek independent assessments. And they weren’t ‘not very accurate’. The courts don’t/didn’t believe that. Independent EPs don’t report on finding that aren’t there just because a parent is commissioning their services. They wouldn’t risk their reputation with SENDIST. Nor their registration. If you think any have acted unprofessionally, have you reported them to the HCPC?

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 15/09/2026 17:33

@angelos02 The first port of call by posters on mn is to diagnose that a dc with certain behaviour must have sen. You don’t have to wait long before the advice is “get a diagnosis”. It’s embedded in parental society.

There never was enough space in special schools for the dc that needed them and this was worsened when special schools were closed in the 1980s following the Warnock Report and the 1981 Education Act. The Report wanted far more dc educated in mainstream schools and that they should have help to be there. This meant large numbers of dc went to local schools and it obviously went too far and units and special staff soon had to be established to help mainstream schools cope. I described what was available in an earlier post.

There was a large group of parents who didn’t want special schools and schools were struggling to cope 40 years ago. The rhetoric was clearly about educating in mainstream and special schools were the last thing some parents wanted. We had to “sell” the much better staffing ratios and specialist staff to parents who wanted a sweet little village school that was overwhelmed with sen dc.

Now, parents realise this ethos hasn’t worked for the sen child or the school community. There are far more dc with poor behaviour. Many academics have had thoughts as to why. The trusts almost certainly need far more units in mainstream schools or new special schools but both cost a lot of money.

Kirbert2 · 15/09/2026 17:08

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 17:02

I wonder if it wasn't monetised things would be different. Seems as though parents want their children in mainstream schools but with extra money rather than the children being in special schools as it used to be. Extra money but without the stigma.

It can take a SEND child years to get a place in a special school even if that is what the parents desperately want.

More SEND children are simply expected to manage in mainstream now even if it clearly isn't the right setting for them and even if that isn't what the parents want.

angelos02 · 15/09/2026 17:02

I wonder if it wasn't monetised things would be different. Seems as though parents want their children in mainstream schools but with extra money rather than the children being in special schools as it used to be. Extra money but without the stigma.

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:57

Ps. If they’re all SEN then no one is SEN

TonyDancer · 15/09/2026 16:56

Someone I knew quite well was experiencing terrible behaviour from one of her daughters. Think the kid must have been about 9 or 10. All she did was shout and scream at her and she was also a selfish individual who, whilst she loved her kids put herself first and foremost in their lives together. Anyway the disruptive kid was assessed and finally given a label. She posted online “Get in!!!” ie she was thrilled to bits to be absolved of any blame in any way for her daughter’s behaviour which meant she could go back to scrolling on Tinder and shouting.