AIBU to think of course all the anti-trans posts on this website and others are leading to real life harm?

'Or how about a woman in her 40's who hasn't realized she isn't 21 anymore?'

What has that got to do with anything! Women can dress as they like.

Exactly men are both the biggest danger to women and also to other men. Because men. Regardless of gender identity considerations.

I just wonder who the Mumsnetter's will blame once they've had their precious way and women are still being attacked and SA'd by men. Perhaps then they will see it is men that are the problem, and by deflecting away from that because they dislike what they do not understand or refuse to educate themselves on; will indeed result in further harm to women.

Sadly the transphobia here is rampant, sanctioned by MN essentially and has only become more extreme over the years. Sometimes I think I need to delete my account because I'm essentially endorsing that by being here but then I don't because I still want to support people and chat and they shouldn't dictate the forum anyway.

But it's truly sad knowing that many new mums are coming here and taking all that stuff in, when their kids might grow up and experience dysphoria and perhaps transition, and those kids won't have supportive parents who want to understand. They'll just be on their own.

That’s simply not true. You absolutely cannot always tell, and in fact I have known some butch women who’ve been mistaken for trans men.

But we aren't harassing anyone. It was a man harassing another man.

Men are the danger for women. However they dress, however much make up they put on, they are still male and the evidence is that men presenting as women commit male pattern crime. I'm surprised you don't understand this.

Also, if you think that cross-dressing isn't a fetish for some men, you're very naive.

Oh come on you can tell with most of these men. I haven’t seen this video so I’m not commenting on that specifically.

One of the rules of misogyny innit - whenever a man does something wrong, there is ALWAYS a woman you can find to blame for it. ALWAYS. If his victim is a woman, then it's her fault. You can also blame his female girlfriend, his mother... or in this case, some feminists on the internet asking for privacy are responsible for some meathead violent man they've never met.

As women have been saying for years: if violent men took that much notice of feminists, women wouldn't have been oppressed all these millennia 🙄

The mental gymnastics you’ve done to blame the women of Mumsnet for two blokes having words on a train (allegedly- you haven’t given any actual context) is quite something, OP.

You can always tell.

But how would you know that person was a man? Plenty of biological women wear wigs, or are tall, or have big hands, or have some facial hair, or a deep voice, or aren’t pretty, or wear clothes that don’t suit them. You can’t tell by looking at a person. Transphobia means that all women get judged on what we look like and suspected of being secret males if we don’t conform to beauty standards.

Quite.

My young daughter is in the guides and she has said, along with others in her group that they prefer it stayed just girls and they wouldn't feel comfortable in certain spaces with a boy who says he's a girl. These young girls have the right to a voice too and anyone who thinks a man or boy can simply put on a dress and lipstick and scream at these girls that they are bigots and anti trans and scare or shame them for wanting female only spaces and not wanting to get undressed in front of a boy is wrong. These girls had grandmothers who couldn't open a bank account without a man's permission and their husband's could rape them without it being a crime. It's 2026 and Men in drag are not going to regress young girls and women back to the days of being silenced by angry men who don't like being told no.

It’s always women’s fault.

He wore a huge black dildo sticking out of his dress to a childrens charity event.

What do you say to trans women actually threatening violence against women? Is this acceptable?

Ive seen that video, it was appalling harrassment of someone sitting minding their own business. The bloke filming is an absolute bellend and deserves to be called out. Can't see how it is anything to do with MN though.

Thr op has just decided that because men were verbally abusive to a man that it's the fault of posters on mumsnet. No rationale, no evidence just a yeah but no but you started it type argument.

Well yeah. I was willing to give Grayson Perry the benefit of the doubt until he talked about wearing huge dresses to hide his erections. Probably he is the wrong sort of cross dresser for OP though, like Isla Bryson isn't trans for some TAs. I wonder how they know?

Perfectly put 👏

I've been to places in London (very often performing arts-related) where I've come across transwomen in the ladies loos. Have I been in the slightest bit bothered personally? No. But I am also fully aware that for other women that might not be the case, including those women whose faith (a protected characteristic) means that they may only use female-only spaces. The rights of some people to use a particular space should not overrule the rights of others who have legitimate reasons for not wanting them in that space.

Ah, Lucy, I've never yet seen anyone on the FWR board claim that trans women are all disgusting, aggressive, perverts. We do point out that some are, because they are! And that's because they are men, and trans women behave like men, not like women.

One of the main ways women have historically helped other women with the issue of male violence and sexual violence is through the creation, funding, staffing of and campaigning for sex based services - including refuges, rape crisis support, women's health and sexual health, education etc etc etc.

It is helping women to identify and publicly raise the issues with opening those services to people who identify as women but are not.

Why are women being blamed for what men do?